The Simulation Cessation
by DrWackaDoodle
Summary: In response to a challenge from Shamyyyyyy. What does one do when you find out your partner lied to you? If you're Sheldon Cooper, you design a punishment guaranteed to ensure Amy will NEVER lie to you again. M rated for a reason!
1. Chapter 1

In response to a challenge from Shamyyyyyy. What does one do when you find out your partner lied to you? If you're Sheldon Cooper, you design a punishment guaranteed to ensure Amy will _NEVER_ lie to you again. M rated for a reason!

* * *

Groaning in displeasure as Amy's alarm goes off, Sheldon rubs his bury eyes and rolls over to attempt to cuddle for a few minutes before she goes to shower and leave for a long day at work.

"Why must you insist on going into work at 4 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday?" Sheldon questions while wrapping his arm securely around her waist and pulling their quilt over them.

"As I explained six times already, this study is nothing short of a comedy of errors. My undergrads are completely incompetent and do not know how to read a calendar, so the paperwork was incorrectly submitted and I only have two weeks to finish this study before I start the study on the effects of sleep apnea on the brain. If that wasn't bad enough, the room we booked shares walls with both our study on the five-second rule for food which has dropped on the floor so I'm hungry all day, as well as our study to determine if Viagara lessens semen output, so not only am I dealing with test subjects who are undergoing sleep deprivation for my study, many are also participating in the Viagara test and tend to be a little..."

"Amy, if any of your participants are being inappropriate, please tell me, " Sheldon requests as he leans up on his elbow to look at her.

"No... well, there was the one who spanked me but after I broke his nose, he was barred from any further studies at Caltech. I now have a beefcake, 6 foot 5 grad student assigned to me and he knows if any of the study participants so much as look at me funny, he will have to answer to you, " Amy reassures.

"That's not very reassuring, " Sheldon replies. "I can come be your bodyguard."

"You have nothing to worry about, Cuddles, " Amy promises as she rolls over and brushes the tips of her fingers along Sheldon's slightly stubbled cheek.

Leaning in, Amy grazes her lips against Sheldon's then pulls back to look into his still sleepy eyes. He smiles at her before pecking her lips again as he brushes a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I miss you, " he whispers while wrapping his arms tightly around her as she rests her head against his chest and kisses over his heart.

"I miss you too. All work and no play is making Amy go crazy. Date night?" Amy suggests. "My last patient is at 2 so I should be able to leave the lab by 4."

"It's your turn to choose our activity while I provide dinner, " Sheldon recalls.

"Since it's an impromptu date night, I won't hold you to cooking dinner for me. Let's eat out. The new family fun center near the mall just opened. Can I interest you in an evening of child-like fun, followed by a most decidedly x-rated round of slow and passionate lovemaking?"

"Absolutely, " Sheldon easily agrees. "Can I interest you in a little preview of what I plan on doing to you tonight?"

"Mmm, don't tempt me, babe. I would love to but..."

"I know, that handsome devil called science beckons. You know that thing where you..." Sheldon asks as he lightly caresses the top of her hand with two fingers.

"Mmmhmm. I promise to do that if you stop distracting me so I can go shower and get some coffee."

"If I hear Gerard, we're going to have words, Doctor Fowler, " Sheldon warns.

"I haven't needed Gerard since we returned from our honeymoon. I am a _very_ happily married woman, Doctor Cooper."

"Good to know. You look exhausted. Are you sure you can't sleep for a few more hours?"

"I can't, " she replies with a heavy sigh before pecking his lips one last time and getting out of bed to start her day. "Go back to sleep. It's only a quarter past 4."

"Come here, " Sheldon requests as Amy gets out of bed.

As she comes to his side of the bed, anticipating that Sheldon wants one more kiss, she's surprised when he sits up on the edge and makes a circle with his right index finger pointed to the floor, indicating he wants her to turn around. Bunching the hem of Amy's nightgown in his left hand, he groans as he realizes his wife came to bed last night sans panties. Reaching out, he lightly smacks her left butt cheek, making her cry out, "oh my!" at the unexpected contact.

"That is for coming to bed without panties and not informing me of such, " Sheldon explains, "and this, " he pauses as he spanks her right cheek, making her lightly moan, "is because I am the _only one_ allowed to be, as the pea-brained horny apes in your study would say, 'tapping that ass.' I love you. Have a good day at work."

"I love you too. Text me later?" She requests.

"I will, " he promises while stifling a yawn.

He watches as Amy adds an exaggerated swing of her hips as she walks into their bathroom and turns to look over her shoulder at him. Winking, she tosses her nightgown to the hamper and then bends over and wiggles her hips, giving him an unrestricted view of his favorite part of his beloved wife.

"Naughty vixen, " he sighs, knowing he has to behave himself for now. Throwing the blanket aside, he watches as Amy's eyes drift to his pajama pants and she licks her lips at seeing that he is tenting them.

"Lock the door, " he warns while his right-hand drifts suggestively under the waistband of his flannel sleep pants.

Waiting until he hears the bathroom door lock, Sheldon gets out of bed and makes his way into the kitchen, flipping on lights as he goes. Quickly locating Amy's purple travel thermos in the sink, Sheldon washes it and then finds the large "Shh, Almost, now talk" coffee mug and starts the Keurig. As he's waiting for her first cup of coffee, he turns on the stove and starts to make her scrambled eggs and toast as well. Switching out the cup for her travel thermos, he starts the machine again before buttering her toast. He leaves everything on the island and is already back asleep as Amy exits the bathroom a few minutes later. Smiling as she sees he's cuddling her pillow, Amy stops at the bed and pulls their blanket back around him before kissing two fingers and laying them on his cheek as she whispers, "sweet dreams, my love."

The insane hours she has been working lately have left very little time for her to do much more than eat dinner and sleep. Sheldon tries to wait up for her, but most nights he is already asleep as she drags herself into their bed and she's long gone when he wakes up. She keeps telling herself that he's a scientist and he'll understand, but honestly, this cannot continue. She's exhausted and close to burning out. From now on, she will do her own scheduling, thank you very much.

As she sits down to quickly eat the breakfast Sheldon prepared for her, she decides she needs to leave him a note, letting him know his efforts to be a loving and supportive husband are appreciated. She locates a pen on his desk and grabs a piece of paper from the printer before returning to the table and spending a few minutes thinking about what to say. She recalls how on their wedding day, she said in her vows that her love for him grows each and every day, and while that's certainly true, she wants something a little more lighthearted and playful than the seriousness of their vows. She recalls another time in which they tried to one-up each other on who loves who more by using algebraic equations. Perfect!

 _If you love me x+1..._

 _I love you x +2 because I'm loved by you_

 _I love you x+3 because you belong to me_

 _I love you x+4, I am yours forevermore_

 _I love you x+5, you make me feel alive_

 _I love you x+6, you are my favorite physicist_

 _I love you x+7, being in your arms is my version of heaven_

 _My heart measures x+8, I love you, Sheldon, and you were worth the wait._

Sheldon sleeps until a little past 8:30. As he awakens, he reaches for his phone to text Amy a proper good morning and soon hears her phone beep from atop her dresser, where she left it charging the night before. He briefly considers changing into his bus pants and taking it, along with his zombie apocalypse pepper spray to her at Caltech, but if she is as busy as it sounds, she will not appreciate the interruption. He knew about the incident with the handsy fool who dared to inappropriately touch Amy, of course. She would never keep something like that from him.

Sheldon was her second call after she called for security. He'll never forget the sound of her voice as she asked him to come to her lab. He literally ran from his office across campus to the medical labs where Amy works and as she explained what happened, a strong sense of pride overtook him as he saw the large puddle of blood on her lab floor. His Little Lady can hold her own, that's for sure. Sheldon knows it's irrational but he needs to find out who this new beefcake intern is and make damn sure he's not involved in the Viagara study. Whose 'brilliant' idea was it to conduct that study anyway? Sheldon wonders. Obviously, the less intelligent minds of the biology department cannot even begin to compete with his brilliant wife. Poor Amy, having to work in those conditions!

Needing breakfast, Sheldon makes his way out to the kitchen and pours himself a bowl of honey nut cheerios and a glass of grape juice. Spotting Amy's love note to him on the table, Sheldon reads it as he chews his first bite of food. Hmm, they don't usually leave mushy-gooey notes for each other. Is he forgetting an anniversary of an important milestone in their relationship, he wonders? Amy's birthday and Christmas are still a few weeks away so it can't be that. He asked her to be his girlfriend on November 17th, which they commemorated this year by going to see The Grinch, so he knows it's not that. His perfect mind is failing him. He must reciprocate though, of that he is certain.

Date night protocol has changed with The Marriage Agreement, which Sheldon and Amy negotiated together. Unlike the Relationship Agreement or their Roommate Agreement, both of which were intentionally heavily skewed in his favor, The Marriage Agreement is mutually beneficial. Sheldon would even argue that it skews in Amy's favor on most matters, such as her insistence on a weekly date night and limitations on the amount of figurines they are each allowed to display. As Amy has picked the fun center for their outing tonight, he is required to provide their meal. Amy insisted that they must cook dinner for each other one date night per month. Boy, he never realized until now just how bossy she is!

Opening up Google Chrome, Sheldon looks up the family fun center. While they do offer concessions like nachos and pizza, he's certain that is not the dinner Amy had in mind and decides to see what restaurants are in the area. The second listing is for a fondue restaurant. That could be a delightful meal he decides as he clicks on their website. Dinner reservations made, he now needs to decide how best to reciprocate Amy's love letter as he grabs their wedding photo album from the shelf by the door and places the letter in it for safekeeping.

He could see in Amy's body language just how exhausted she is. Maybe, instead of a love letter, he should treat her to a night of pampering with a bubble bath, manicure, pedicure and full body massage. Flowers. Wine. Massage oil. Knowing he has none of these things, Sheldon checks the time, 9:43 am. The next bus will be at 10:15, and every 2 hours after that. He will not be able to make the bus until 12:15 and is certain that with the number of stops he needs to make, he will not be home before 4 pm, when Amy expects to arrive home. Maybe if he were to ask nicely, Leonard would let him borrow his car.

After a quick shower and putting on his bus pants (just in case Leonard and Penny say no), Sheldon grabs Amy's cell phone from the wireless charging pad and makes his way across the hall to Apartment 4A. He'll stop at the sub shop near campus to take her lunch he decides. Hearing the theme song for Mario, Sheldon hums along, " do do do do do boing, " before knocking three times on the door.

"It's open!" Leonard calls out.

Much to Sheldon's surprise, it is Penny who is playing the game, with an ecstatic Bernadette eagerly awaiting her turn as Bernie yells, "he's immune to fireball!" They are battling Bowser, Sheldon notices as he closes the door.

"Good morning, Leonard. I trust you are well?" Sheldon questions as he goes to sit in his spot. It's warm. The most likely culprit is Bernadette as she now occupies Amy's spot, but she scares him, so he decides to let it go... this time. Next time, it's two strikes.

"What do you want, Sheldon?" Penny wonders, getting straight to the point.

"I was hoping to borrow a vehicle so as to run errands. Amy left her cell phone and I plan on taking it to her along with lunch before running a few more errands, " Sheldon explains.

"I have to swing by campus to download a few things onto my flash drive. Where else did you need to go?" Leonard wonders.

"A florist, the grocery store and the mall, " Sheldon lists.

"Ooh, date night?" Penny questions as she passes the controller to Bernie.

"Yes. I'm going to treat Amy to a night of pampering. The long hours she's been working with back-to-back studies have left her exhausted. Could either of you ladies recommend a massage oil?" Sheldon wonders.

"We just use lotion, " Penny explains.

"Same, " Bernie chimes in. "I thought Nate got put on this study after the groping incident?" She wonders while pausing the game. "That should've helped with Amy's workload."

"Who is Nate?" Penny wonders as she folds her legs under her, sure she's missing some grade A gossip.

"Amy's quote-unquote, '6 foot 5 beefcake grad student, " Sheldon explains as he clinches his jaw.

"Ooh, someone's jealous!" Penny exclaims teasingly.

"Yes, I'm jealous, alright? Strange men are sexually assaulting my wife and now I have to worry that this insipid Viagara study taking place next door will make 'Nate' hot for teacher!" Sheldon fumes.

"Nate is a total sweetheart and totally in love with his husband. He's as harmless as Cinnamon guarding her stuffed cat, " Bernie reassures as she pats Sheldon's knee. "All bark and no bite."

"You know him?" Penny questions.

"He's my cousin. Once he found out I know Amy, he's been hounding me to get him on one of her studies. Amy pulled some strings after that incident, " Bernie explains as she pulls out her cell phone and brings up Facebook to show Penny a picture of the tall, tanned, bald-headed muscular cousin of hers.

"Ooh, yum-my... I mean, " she pauses while looking apologetically to Leonard.

"It's alright, " Leonard reassures as he leans over the back of the couch to look. "That is your cousin?!"

"I know, right?" Bernie replies.

"Sheldon, even if he was straight, Amy is not the type of woman who would even look at another man. You trust her, right?" Penny wonders.

"Implicitly, " Sheldon replies as he twists his gold wedding band on his finger, which has become his new 'bad habit' when bored or nervous. "I just worry about her safety. That incident was unnerving for both of us. It could've been so much worse."

"Have you talked to her about this?" Leonard wonders.

"No. She's too busy. She leaves before dawn and I'm usually asleep when she comes home from work."

"You know what we're going to suggest, right?" Leonard confirms as he retrieves his keys from the bowl by the door.

"I'll talk with her, " Sheldon promises.

Leonard and Sheldon make their way to the mall first, and after a detour to The Lego Store, they split up with Sheldon going into Bath and Body Works while Leonard goes to mess with the "genius" bar in the Apple Store. With a promise to meet at the Amazon pop up store in a half hour, Sheldon rides the escalator to the first floor and nearly jumps when Amy's phone rings in his pocket. He waits until disembarking the escalator and finds a table at the food court, seeing Amy has it labeled as, "work" on the caller ID.

"Dr. Fowler's phone, Dr. Cooper speaking, " he answers.

"Oh, thank goodness. I've been looking everywhere for my phone, " Amy replies with an audible sigh of relief.

"You left it on the charger. I can bring it to you if you'd like, " Sheldon offers.

"No, that's alright. The undergrads are intent on driving me to the brink of insanity. I'm quadruple booked with test subjects all day. I may not be home until 11 or later. I'm so sorry, Sheldon. I was really looking forward to our date night."

"Me too, " he sighs.

"Where are you? It's incredibly noisy. I can barely hear you."

"I'm at the mall with Leonard."

"Oh, " Amy exclaims, surprised. "Have fun playing Legos. Love you."

"Love you too. Amy, please make sure you take breaks to stretch and to eat?" He requests.

"I will, " she promises before hanging up.

 _Wonderful,_ Sheldon thinks with a heavy sigh. Should he still purchase the lotion? Amy will only want to eat and go to sleep. He could still rub her back with the lotion, foregoing everything else he had planned, he decides as he enters Bath and Body Works and is immediately greeted by an all too perky redheaded teenager. He explains that he's just looking and wanders over to the far left-hand side of the store, assuming he will need to smell the tester bottles of the scents he is considering purchasing for Amy to make sure they are not too overwhelming.

Luckily, his Amy doesn't like to mix scents, unlike their blonde neighbor who uses coconut shampoo, lavender deodorant, cherry blossom body wash and a strong floral scented perfume, leaving her smelling like she just walked through the make up section of the nearest department store. He really did find his perfect mate in Amy, he thinks with a smile while smelling the peach body lotion. It reminds him of Meemaw's peach cobbler, which is probably not the best thought for him to have when feeling up his wife, he decides as he puts it back and grabs the candy apple lotion. It's a mixture of peppermint and apples. Amy would love it, he decides while picking up a new bottle of lotion. He wanders into the aromatherapy section and is enticed by the lavender scented lotion marketed as "sleep." Deciding to purchase that as well, Sheldon grabs it and a bottle of the cucumber melon body wash Amy typically uses before going to pay.

Leonard is sipping on a smoothie as they meet in front of the Amazon Store popup a few minutes later and Leonard immediately notices Sheldon's sullen mood. Heading towards the Disney Store to cheer Sheldon up, Leonard asks, "what's wrong?"

"Amy canceled our date night. Her undergrads quadruple booked her test subjects all day today."

"Poor Amy, " Leonard sympathizes. "That's rough."

"Yes. I'm trying to be supportive but... I miss her, Leonard."

"I know, buddy. Just... continue to be supportive. This isn't intentional."

"I know, " Sheldon reassures.

After canceling their dinner reservations, Sheldon orders a pizza and settles in to binge watch Agents of Shield. Comfy and cozy under Amy's electric blanket, he smiles as he hears the key turning in the lock a little before 10 and Amy enters, throwing her backpack to the floor and kicking off her shoes all while shutting the door with her hip.

"Hey. I'm surprised you're still up, " she greets him as she flops on the couch.

"I wanted to wait up for you tonight, " he explains as she leans her head against his shoulder and closes her eyes.

"I'm so sorry about date night, Sheldon, " Amy apologizes again. "I never expected five studies back-to-back like this. I'm exhausted. When I finish the sleep apnea study, I'm taking two weeks paid vacation and staying in bed for all of it... to sleep, " she adds as she replays what she said. If it had been anyone but her sweet, sometimes naive husband, they would've jumped on that with an immediate sexually suggestive comment.

"You're definitely deseving of it, " he replies as he kisses the crown of her head. "Are you hungry? There's pizza in the fridge."

"Good, I'm staving" she exclaims while starting to move off the couch.

"I've got it. Relax, " Sheldon urges while wrapping the blanket around Amy before making his way to the kitchen and putting two slices of pizza in the microwave.

"What did you purchase at Bath and Body Works?" Amy wonders as she spots the bag on the coffee table.

"I planned on pampering you tonight so I purchased lotion to use while giving you a full body massage."

"If you're still offering, I would love a massage."

"Of course, " he agrees as the microwave beeps.

Taking the plate and a glass of milk to Amy, he leaves her to eat while going into their bedroom and getting into their closet to retrieve some of the white electric candles they used in their wedding reception centerpieces. After turning them on, he places them on their dresser and then turns down their bed for the evening. He goes into the bathroom and changes into his pajamas before going out to the living room as Amy works on her second slice of pizza. He locks up for the evening then takes her plate and cup to the sink, rinsing them and putting them in the dishwasher. Ready to turn in, he unplugs the blanket and leads Amy by the hand to their bedroom.

As he shuts their bedroom door, Amy wraps her arms around his shoulders and apologizes to him with a slow tender closed mouth kiss. He begins to fumble with the buttons on her blouse as she lightly caresses the skin between the hem of his white shirt and the waistband of his pants where his shirt has ridden up. Successful in his quest, Sheldon slides his hands along her shoulders to remove the royal blue long sleeved blouse and, shocking his wife, leaves it laying on the floor where it lands as he works to remove her bra. He ends the kiss after a few minutes of fumbling and requests, "let me get a look at this thing."

"I've got it, " Amy replies as she reaches behind her and expertly unhooks her bra. It's still covering her and she allows Sheldon a small victory as he gently slides each strap down her arms and lets her bra drop to the floor.

"Let me freshen up?" Amy requests after removing his t-shirt. "I'll be quick."

Once in the bathroom, Amy locks the door. She promised Sheldon coitus, and while she's sure he would understand that she's just too tired, it's been 8 1/2 weeks since their last time. He even sent her a three-hour request for impending coitus per their agreement, she noticed as she checked her phone while eating pizza. He's only sent a request once before, on Halloween after seeing her in her costume.

Exhausted or not, coitus is happening, she decides. Maybe if she can pleasure Sheldon first, he'll orgasm and she can say it was his reward for giving her a massage. Plan in place, she removes the rest of her clothing and tosses it in the hamper before going back to the bedroom, where Sheldon is kneeling on the bed in just his blue sleep pants.

"Would you like to smell both lotions?" Sheldon wonders as he points to where he set them on her nightstand.

Quickly uncapping the candy apple lotion, she holds it to her nose with an, "mmm" of appreciation. "That smells wonderful. Can we use this?"

"As you wish, my dear. Lay down on your stomach, " Sheldon requests as Amy settles into the middle of the bed.

"Would you like your legs massaged as well, or just your back?" Sheldon wonders while rubbing his hands together to warm them.

"Legs please and could you massage my glutes? I've had the strangest feeling of muscle spasms in my left butt cheek."

"I imagine that would feel very strange, " Sheldon replies. "Relax. Let your body sink into the mattress, " he whispers while straddling her hips.

Starting with her shoulders, Sheldon works his palms in large circles and moves down her arms to her fingers. He'll come back to her hands last, he decides, as he returns to her shoulders and slowly rubs down each side of her back until he reaches the hem of her grey panties. Using the heel of his palm, he slides his hands up to Amy's neck as she moans her appreciation.

"This feels great, Sheldon, " she praises as she turns her head to the right in order to breathe.

"Good, I'm glad. You have a very tight spot along your shoulder. I'm going to work on that, " he explains.

"Please. My neck and shoulders are killing me."

His touch is both arousing her and putting her to sleep. Most confusing, she decides while closing her eyes. Watching her face, Sheldon notices the moment she fully relaxes and melts into the mattress as he works on her back. This is the most he's touched her in two months, and by gum, he's going to make sure they both enjoy it. He continues working on her back for another half hour until he's certain he's worked out every last knot.

"Amy?" He softly whispers. "I need to remove your panties." When he receives no response, he swings his right leg over her hips to the empty space at the end of the bed and looks at her. She's sound asleep, a smile playing at the edges of her lips.

She needed this even more than he did, Sheldon decides as he covers his naked wife with the mint green flat sheet followed by their blanket. After washing his hands, Sheldon goes out to the living room and retrieves the blanket he was using earlier. After stopping for a glass of water, he returns to bed and falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Darn it, she fell asleep, Amy realizes as her very annoying alarm goes off on her very annoying, soon to be thrown against the wall, alarm clock. She rolls over and blindly smacks for it, soon making the blaring alarm stop.

"I'm sorry, " she apologizes as Sheldon rolls to spoon her and nuzzles her neck, lightly kissing it. "I must've forgotten to turn it off. I'm not going in until 7 today. Go back to sleep, " she encourages.

"Mmm, you're nice and warm. Snuggly, " he replies.

She can tell he's still half asleep by the deep timbre of his voice and the way he wantonly is caressing her abdomen. Maybe she was wrong about him being asleep, she decides as he traces his finger along the waistband of her panties. She just wants to sleep but it's so rare for Sheldon to want coitus and if she rejects him he may get the idea that she doesn't want him to be spontaneous, which is unequivocally false. Decision made, she guides his hand into her panties and bites her lip at the sensation. She's as dry as a desert down there and it's slightly painful to have Sheldon touching her. As he starts rubbing her clit in slow circles with his thumb, he uses two fingers to enter her core, seeking out the spongy patch of her G-spot. She's thankfully getting slightly wet now, but still not enough to lessen the need to think, quick.

When they were on their honeymoon, they conducted a series of experiments to calculate the averages for their respective orgasms. On average, it took her 7 minutes to cum if Sheldon fingered her, 3 minutes of the sweetest torture imaginable as Sheldon licked her into a boneless puddle of goo, and the one time he used Gerard on her he had her screaming his name as she came in only 90 seconds. She hates to do it, hates to even think it, but she has very few options at this point. This simply cannot continue. She quickens her breathing and begins moaning as she thrusts her hips in time with his fingers.

"I'm... close... baby, " she pants. "Oh, oh, oooh, " she moans as he increases the speed of his fingers.

She begins contracting and relaxing her vaginal walls around his fingers and slowly counts to 10 before violently writhing against him, faking a long intense orgasm. As she stills, she immediately feels guilty and bites her lip as she closes her eyes and tries to hold back tears.

"That was a strong one, " Sheldon comments as he kisses her neck.

"Mmmhmm, " she hums before rolling over.

Her tongue immediately enters his mouth as her lips crash into his in a bruising kiss and she caresses his chest while straddling him and grinding against the large bulge in his sleep pants while Sheldon rubs her back. That "thing" he requested just 24 hours ago is for her to suck just the tip of his shaft while giving him a hand job and she's more than happy to oblige now.

"I want to suck you, " she whispers in his ear before trailing kisses down his body. He's a happy boy as he rests his arms behind his head and grins down at her untying the drawstring of his pants.

He's already at full attention as he lifts his hips and helps Amy to remove his pants, throwing them to the foot of the bed. She makes a loose first and pumps him from tip to base a few times before positioning herself with her head between his legs as she lays on her stomach. Deciding to shock him, she takes him entirely into her mouth, hitting the back of her throat as he moans, "oh, good lord. You're a naughty vixen. _My_ vixen."

She does it a few more times before quickly bobbing her head, only taking half of him into her mouth as she uses her right hand on the bottom half of his immaculate shaft. He occasionally moans but is most content to silently watch her and occasionally stroke her hair. He came in her mouth once on their honeymoon when she didn't heed his repeated warnings, wanting to taste him. Sheldon seemed disgusted by the notion and would only kiss her again after she rinsed her mouth with mouthwash. She didn't care for the taste either, truth be told, but it beats the mess made when he cums in her hand.

"Inside you... please... wanna be inside you, " he begs as she tastes pre-cum on the tip of her tongue.

He needs to get her there if that's going to happen. She stops momentarily to roll so her head is at his feet and he can easily reach her.

"Come here, " he growls as he rolls her onto her back and buries his face between her legs.

"Oh, yes!" She cries out as she feels herself gushing with instant arousal. His talented tongue will definitely get her there.

Slowly pumping him, Sheldon matches the rhythm she sets as he inserts his fingers in her once again and she cries out in pleasure. Her orgasm building already, she moans his name and an "I love you, " making him do that buzzing hummy thing against her clit.

"Mmmm... gonna... ah, ah, ah, Shel... Oh, " she cries out as her orgasm slams into her like a tidal wave during a fierce storm, strong, intense, lasting just a few seconds before she calms.

As she pants for air, Sheldon runs his fingers along her chest, arms and abdomen before kissing her cheek and whispering, "good morning. I love you."

"I love you too, " she replies. "Could we... instead of our normal position, could we try spooning?" She requests.

"Of course, " he replies. "Just tell me what I need to do."

Waiting until he rolls onto his side, Amy snuggles into his chest and brings her right leg back to settle along his hips for easier access. He angles his hips and brushes just his tip against her entrance, teasing her, before she reaches down to guide him in and they simultaneously moan as he fills her.

Still feeling guilty about faking her first orgasm, Amy grabs his hand that is rolling her nipple between his fingers and guides it to her core, silently requesting he rub her clitoris in the hopes of making her cum one more time. Happy to oblige, Sheldon whispers, "I like it when you're horny, " in her ear and is rewarded with the cutest giggle he's ever heard.

This leisurely pace they have set is nice, Sheldon thinks, and he loves that he can reach all of Amy in this position, as he kisses her shoulder. His orgasm is rapidly approaching but he needs to hold off until she climaxes again.

Asking, "are you close?" He's rewarded with a breathy, "yeah, don't stop." Not that he planned on it.

He increases the speed of his fingers and very quickly she's silently tumbling over the edge as her body writhes against him. He doesn't relent and she immediately orgasms again, moaning his name. Hearing his name like that, whispered as if a prayer to the heavens, makes him lose control and he cums almost instantly, crying out her name as he fills her.

Exhausted from their early morning rendezvous, Sheldon immediately pulls out of her and wraps his arms tighter around her. Whispering, "I love you, " he falls back asleep instantly.

 _At least one of us will get back to sleep,_ Amy thinks as she goes to shower and start her day.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few weeks are more of the same: eat, sleep, work. Lather, rinse repeat. Now working nights due to the sleep apnea study, Amy sees even less of her poor neglected husband. Sheldon has been nothing but loving and supportive as they try to get through this by relying on text messages and little trinkets to say "I miss you."

Taking a bite from the oatmeal raisain chocolate chip cookie Sheldon baked for her, Amy finishes inputting the last page of data and covers her mouth as she yawns while powering down her computer.

It's 6 am, and if she hurries, she may be able to catch Sheldon in the shower for some early morning fun before sending him off to work. Haphazardly throwing her lab coat across the back of her chair and digging for her keys in her old beat up black backpack (from the vintage Amy: The College Years collection), she locks up the lab and jogs to the elevator, repeatedly pressing the down button for the first floor.

"You're in a hurry to get out of here, " her grad student, Nate, comments as he arrives a few steps behind her.

"My husband works days and I've spent a grand total of 1 hour with him in the last two weeks, " Amy explains. "I'm hoping to catch him so we can have breakfast together. What does... I'm sorry, his name is slipping my mind?"

"Jamal. He's in culinary school."

"That's great, " Amy replies with a genuine smile as the elevator arrives.

"It's a wonder I don't weigh 600 pounds with the way he cooks, " Nate jokes. "God, I wish we had a different lab. I walked by the 5-second rule lab earlier tonight and they were eating the leftover baklava . It took all my willpower to keep walking."

"Oh, I know. The night they cooked pupusas, I was seriously considering pulling the fire alarm so I could grab one."

"I'm so glad they've moved on from eggs. There's not enough pine scented aerosol in the world to remove that smell from my workspace."

"Next time, put a little Vick's vaporub under your nose. An old trick from my biology classes. The smell of formaldehyde used to make me sick, " Amy explains as they arrive at the parking garage.

"I'll do that. Have a good night... I mean day..." He corrects as Amy laughs.

"You as well, Mr. Walker."

Arriving home at 6:13, Amy smiles when she enters the silent, dark apartment. Sheldon always turns the kitchen light on for her so he must still be sleeping, she concludes. Kicking her shoes off by the front door, she takes a few seconds to strip down to her panties in the living room, then enters the bedroom as quietly as possible. Stopping at the foot of the bed, she considers running back to grab her cell phone so she can get a photo of Sheldon adorably cuddling her pillow as he softly snores.

Oh, she doesn't want to wake him but desperately wanting to be that pillow, she gets into bed on her side and cringes at the rustling of the freshly laundered sheets. Sheldon mumbles something unintelligible and rolls so his back is to her. Not exactly how she planned this to go, but alright, she decides as she spoons him. He rolls away from her and keeps scooting to the edge of the bed where he rolls one more time and falls to the floor below with a thud.

"Ow, " he whines as he sits up and rubs the back of his head.

"Are you alright?" Amy wonders as she leans against the headboard.

"Yes, " he reassures as he crawls back in and pulls the blanket over his lap before leaning over to kiss her cheek. "You're home early."

"One of my test subjects was a no-show so it was an easy night, " she explains while leaning in for a kiss. Her lips barely brush against Sheldon's before he pulls back.

"Do you not want to be touched today?" She wonders as she tries to not be offended.

"No, it's not that. I um... I woke up with an erection, " he bashfully confesses.

"It's a perfectly normal biological response, Sheldon, " she reassures. "Would you like for me to... take care of you?"

One of the things she loves the most about Sheldon is his innate need to have everything written out in black and white so there are no misunderstandings, especially when it comes to matters of physical intimacy and consent.

During the negotiation of the Marriage Agreement, they spent the most time on the section for physical intimacy and sexual relations. Sheldon has never been very physically affectionate with anyone, including his immediate family, but _for her_ he tries, and she must admit, he's come a long way from the days where she couldn't even hold his hand without him wanting to bathe in bleach. When Sheldon proposed that non-sexual touching above the waist can be initiated by either party at will, she was all too quick to agree. Cuddling is in the grey area and while he can initiate cuddling whenever the mood strikes, Sheldon requested Amy ask him prior to initiating. _Oops._

"You are exhausted from work and I don't want you to think that I've only missed your body. I have... but not for the reason you think. I miss you keeping me warm at night. I miss the softness of your skin, how that little puff of air brushes against my cheek as you sleep, I even miss having to remove your hair from my mouth."

"I miss you too, Sheldon, and not just for sex. I miss our little games we play, how just making you laugh or smile makes my whole day better, catching you playing with your ring, smelling talc everywhere I go... I just miss you. I want to be intimate but that is only if you want to."

"Neither of us sent a request for marital relations, " he worries. _He's grasping at straws. Checkmate._

"We're rebels, " she teases. "You have my permission to touch me in any way you wish. Now, I just need yours?"

"Yes, " he whispers as he rolls her onto her back, "oh, yes, please, " he breathlessly whispers in her ear when she grabs his rear and forces his hips down so his manhood grinds against her.

"Love doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about you, my amazing, handsome, wonderful husband, " Amy whispers as she guides his head down to kiss her.

He relinquishes all control to her as she slowly tastes his lips and their tongues slide together in an exquisite tango as he moans into her mouth while continuing to rub his lower body against hers.

Amy's always found it fascinating to watch as Sheldon's animal hindbrain takes control. How she would love to hook him up to some electrodes or get him in a functional MRI machine while they are being intimate, but, unfortunately, she is forbidden from conducting any scientific experiments on him according to the terms of their marriage agreement. Sheldon added the clause in retaliation for her filibustering against the official name of their apartment, "The Fowler-Cooper Center for the Advancement of the Institution of Marriage" in favor of calling Apartnent 4B "The Love Shack."

Fillibuster failing when she needed to leave the couch to pee, Amy switched his ringtone to "Love Shack" by the B52's. The next day while standing outside his office as Leonard, Howard, Raj and Barry Kripke discussed the latest Ig Nobels, a parody version of the real (and much sought after by her husband) Nobel Prize, she called his phone and laughed hysterically as she heard him growl, "it is on, Amy Farrah Fowler!"

"Your lips taste like chocolate, " he murmurs between kisses before attacking her lips again as his magical fingers rub her mound over her panties, leaving Amy whimpering while she lightly scratches her nails down his back. He shivers in response and it reminds her of a wet dog after a bath, making her giggle as she comes up for air. Grinning at her, Sheldon stares into her beautiful dark green eyes as he asks, "what's so funny?"

"You reminded me of the way Benji would shake after I gave him a bath, " Amy explains.

"You're thinking of your childhood pet while I'm ravaging you?" Sheldon questions.

"Yes, sorry, " she apologizes.

"I must not be doing this right, " Sheldon decides.

Grabbing her hands, he pins her arms above her head by entwining their fingers while he grinds down into her, fervently rocking his pelvis into hers. Taking a patch of skin on her clavicle into his mouth and sucking, intent on leaving a mark, he bites her when she wraps her legs around his hips. She wants to scream in pleasure but instead turns her head into the crook of his neck and plants wet open mouth kisses along his carotid artery.

Even as his hindbrain takes over, he's still a gentleman (she'd expect nothing less) and still focused primarily on her pleasure, but as he relaxes and begins to lose control, his kisses become hungrier, his hands have a mind of their own as they explore every inch of her body and the things he will whisper to her... Sheldon Cooper is not as innocent as he seems.

"I want to thrust my penis into your vagina until you can't remember your name, " he whispers in her ear as his fingers find their way into her soaked panties. _And there's the lust filled animal only she gets to see._

"Mmm, fuck me, Sheldon. Mark me as yours."

"Still thinking about your dog?" He asks as he moves on to taking her left nipple into his mouth.

"No, " she replies as he begins trailing wet kisses down her body to the hem of her panties.

"How about now?" He asks before blowing hot air onto her wet mound over her panties, causing Amy to moan in response.

"That was most unhelpful, " Sheldon rebukes as he kisses his way back up to her lips.

 _He's planning something,_ Amy decides as she takes in his lopsided grin and how his eyes are twinkling. It's his, "I'm about to do something naughty" look and she should be afraid, very very afraid.

"How about now?" He asks as his long fingers find their way to tickling her tummy and ribs as she squeals and squirms, trying to get away from him.

Leaving them both breathless, their tickle fight ends when Sheldon brings his lips to hers for a slow kiss and rolls onto his back, bringing her on top of him. Working to unknot his sleep pants, Amy is able to remove them while Sheldon lifts his hips to help. Sliding her hands along his abdomen, his shirt is the next to go and he all but rips her panties in half a few seconds later as they find their way to the floor.

"Are you ready?" Amy wonders as she positions herself over him.

"I need... you need to..." It's so cute when he suddenly becomes shy, Amy decides.

"I need to climax?" She questions as he nods vigorously. "I will, " she promises as she takes him into her hand and sinks down on him.

"Hi, husband, " she whispers as she adjusts to the exquisite feeling of his impressive length filling her.

"Hello, wife, " he replies just as quietly.

While needing and even demanding control over every situation, the privacy of his bedroom, with the person he loves and trusts the most, is the one place Sheldon feels completely calm, completely safe, completely free to be vulnerable and out of control, knowing Amy would never bring him harm. He loves relinquishing control of their lovemaking to her, letting her take what she needs from him.

Sticking two fingers in her mouth, Amy sucks on them, simulating fellatio as Sheldon watches with rapt attention. Slowly circling her hips, she moans as she brings her fingers to rub her swollen nub. His hands go to her hips to help guide her as she slowly moves up and down on him, making them both moan. He loves this languid sleepy pace she's set and if it wasn't a work day, it would be fine, most welcome, even, but today, he needs her to go faster. Grabbing her hips, he sets a new faster pace as he helps guide her in how to ride him.

"That's... watching you touch yourself... that's..." He falters, unable to find the words to explain what it's doing to him.

"You like that, baby?" Amy questions making him buck his hips up into her in response as she gasps.

Taking the two fingers she has been using on herself, she brings them to Sheldon's lips so he can taste her as he sucks and licks them clean. Releasing her fingers with a pop, he insistently pulls her off him and lifts her until she is sitting directly over his face before devouring her while she hangs onto their headboard and bites her lip to keep from waking the entire building. His face is glistening with her juices as he lifts her once again after she climaxes and demands, "as you were."

As he enters her again, he brings her into a hugging position so she is laying on top of him chest to chest. Resting his feet against the bed, Sheldon bends his knees for leverage and begins frantically thrusting up into her as he hugs her to him and tangles her hair in his fingers. _Oh yes, when his hindbrain takes over, it's pure bliss._

Entering the hallway at 7 am on the dot to meet Sheldon so they can go to work, Leonard pauses midstride as he hears a rapid thumping noise on the wall. Are they... he wonders. His suspicions are confirmed when Amy loudly moans, "I'm cumming, oh God..." Sheldon continues fucking her brains out from the sounds of it as Amy screams in pleasure. Leonard is sure there's going to be a headboard sized hole in the wall as he quickly retreats back into 4A and shuts the door.

"Amy's home, " Leonard explains to Penny's raised eyebrow.

"So?" Penny questions as she drains her first cup of coffee.

Opening the door just a crack, they hear the rapid thumping of the headboard continue and it's Sheldon's turn to moan, "Aaaammmmyyyy" as the noise comes to an abrupt halt.

"So, Amy's _home_ , " Penny summarizes as Leonard shuts the door.

"Yeah."

Kissing Sheldon's sweaty chest, Amy listens to his heart race as he gently rubs her back along her spine. He leans down and kisses her forehead before reaching for his phone to check the time, 7:05. Realizing Leonard is waiting on him, and may have even heard them, Sheldon asks, "can you take me to work?"

"Or... you could play hooky, " Amy suggests.

"I'd love to but I can't. Those fancy benefactors are here this week and Siebert made it clear that I am to reel in the money sharks at all costs if I want any real chance of gaining tenure."

"Lovely. This... this was phenomenal, Sheldon. You're phenomenal. I love you so damn much."

"I love you too, Amy. I know we usually cuddle after lovemaking but I must be going to take a shower, " he apologizes. "Join me?"

"Sure, " she agrees.

"Just let me text Leonard, " Sheldon requests.

Before she's able to get out of bed, Sheldon grabs Amy around the waist and lays a blistering kiss on her. Slowing it as she responds in kind, he nibbles on her lip before ending it. If they keep going like that he's calling in sick at the risk of being fired.

"Do you think Siebert would believe that my beautiful wife is holding me hostage as her sex slave?" Sheldon wonders.

"Not with the hours I've been working, " Amy decides with a sigh before getting out of bed.

As Amy waits for the water to warm up before stepping into the shower, Sheldon enters the bathroom and wraps his arms around her waist, wanting to prolong the intimacy as long as possible. Amy lays her head against his shoulder and closes her eyes as he plays with her fingers by sliding them through his own. He seems to be deep in thought about something but after 8 years together, Amy knows not to push him. He'll tell her when he's ready.

"When I was a child, my Pop Pop had a term of endearment for Meemaw, mo chisle mo chroi, which is Gaelic for, 'the pulse of my heart.' I found it ridiculous and often wondered why my Pop Pop, a man's man if there ever was one, would spout such silly nonsense. I was just a child, what did I know? Now that I am grown and have found my life partner, I understand. It is not your fault, Amy, I know it's not your fault but having so little time with you... I feel like a part of me is missing. I feel like you've left me again, " he whispers in confession.

"Ouch, " she mutters under her breath.

"That's why I didn't want to bring it up but Penny said that it's important for you to understand how difficult this has been for me. I don't want to hurt your feelings or upset you."

"No, no, it's good we're talking about this. I miss you too, Sheldon. It's difficult for me too. What can I do so you don't feel abandoned?" She wonders?

"That's the thing, I don't know. I'm being ridiculous and needy."

"No, you're not. We are two ships passing in the night right now and I hate it. I absolutely hate that I am a newlywed who has seen her husband for a grand total of an hour in the last two weeks! We cannot go on like this. Our marriage will not survive like this. I'm done with this study on the 23rd of December and have taken off the week between Christmas and New Year's. I want to go play in the snow and cuddle up by the fireplace while drinking hot cocoa. Let's get away for a few days, " she suggests.

"Your birthday is on a Monday this year. Will you have to work?" He wonders.

"Yes, 6 pm to 6 am " she replies while turning her head for a short kiss.

"Very well. I'll take a personal day. What would you like to do?" He wonders while holding her hand as he helps her into the shower.

"Eat, sleep and make love, " she lists as Sheldon tilts his head back to wet his hair.

To save time, Amy grabs the bar of Dial soap and washes his chest, arms and legs for him while he shampoos his hair and rinses it. The one disadvantage of a workday morning quickie, Amy decides. Typically, when they shower together, they stay in there until the water turns cold as they wash every inch of each other's body between kisses and the occasional fondling. With Sheldon late for work, she's lucky she's in the shower with him at all and decides to not press her luck as they switch places so she can wash her hair while Sheldon quickly soaps her up using her loofah.

"I have no idea what to get you this year for either your birthday or Christmas, " he confesses after a few minutes of silence.

"I want for nothing but quality time with you, " she replies while rinsing off. "Our trip can be both my birthday and Christmas presents."

"There must be something else you have your eye on?"

"Nope, " she replies while turning off the water and reaching for their towels.

"Thank you, Sheldon, for telling me how you feel. I know it's not easy for you to talk about feelings like this."

"No, it's not, " he agrees, "but for you, I'll try."

"It's just a few more weeks, " Amy reassures as she leans in to softly kiss him. Sheldon reaches behind her to turn off the water with one hand while wrapping his other arm around her waist, holding her close while Amy plays with the tiny hairs at the nape of his neck. Knowing he must be getting to work, he groans as he pulls back.

"We're alright?" He worries.

"We're alright, " she reassures while pinching his cute butt, making him jump.

As they step out of the shower, Amy tries to hide her yawn from him as he takes her towel from her to dry her off. Unsuccessful, he stops drying her hair and brings her into his arms for a loving hug as she rests her head against his shoulder.

"You're dead on your feet. I'll take the bus, " he decides.

"I can take you but could we swing by McDonald's for breakfast? I know you don't like eating at your desk but I'm fading fast."

"Of course. You'll be okay driving home by yourself?" He worries.

"I'll get some coffee and crank the music, " she promises.

"Text me the minute you get home so I know you're safe, " he makes her promise him.

"I will."

Sheldon calculates that based on current traffic, it will take Amy 12 minutes to get home and 3 minutes to get upstairs. He'll give her 20 minutes just in case she gets stuck at a red light, he decides as he makes his way to his office. Reaching his door, he sees an envelope taped to it with his name written on it in block letters. That is definitely Penny's writing. After opening the door and placing his orange juice and brown paper bag on his desk, Sheldon goes back for the letter and has ripped open the envelope by the time he reaches his chair. Even in the privacy of his office, he blushes as he reads it again:

 _Dear Santa,_

 _Please bring us noise canceling headphones for Christmas? Our neighbors like to try embedding their headboard into the wall at 6 am._

 _Love,_

 _Leonard and Penny_

Amy can't stop smiling as she comes up the stairs and nearly trips over a small red gift bag placed in front of her door. Picking it up to inspect it, Amy laughs as she pulls out a few condoms and a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup which has been wrapped in tinfoil with the word, "Emmy" written on it in black marker. She finds a notecard in the bag and bursts out laughing as she reads, _"The Emmy for best orgasms goes to Sheldon Cooper and Amy Fowler for "Love Shack The Musical."_

Taking a picture for Sheldon, she texts it to him with the caption: "no explanation necessary."

He soon writes back, "You can scream louder than that. I know and have the permanent hearing loss to prove it."

She can't come up with a good response so she simply texts, "I'm home and going to sleep. I love you" as she changes into his white t-shirt from this morning and crawls in on his side of the bed, her little secret since she started working the night shift.

Back at Caltech, Sheldon has just stuck the letter into his messenger bag when President Siebert appears at the open door of Sheldon's office. So much for breakfast, Sheldon thinks as he looks longingly at his orange juice and greasy hash browns.

"The benefactors will be at my office at 10:30. We need this win, Cooper. Make it happen."

"I'll do my best... sir, " he adds for good measure.

"I've dealt with Mister Pierogi before. Show him the experimental physics lab. His son likes the lasers, " Siebert suggests.

"Of course, " Sheldon dutifully replies.

There are few things Sheldon hates more than being coerced into something by his superiors at the university, but playing babysitter to some spoiled little brat who's idea of "science" is watching the simpleton Bill Nye?

"Kill me now, " Sheldon moans.

Why him? Of all the scientists in the university, why would Siebert choose him when he has done nothing but make his dislike of intellectual idiots known to anyone who will listen? This has to be a mistake or someone's idea of a sick joke. Knowing he absolutely needs today to go well, Sheldon scarfs down his breakfast before going to find Leonard so that they can set up a quick demonstration of the lasers.

"Bang bang bang on the wall baby, " Leonard sings with a cheeky grin as he opens his lab door for Sheldon and hands him a pair of safety goggles. "I'm surprised you're not passed out after that performance."

"I feel surprisingly energized, " Sheldon replies. "But my preference would've been to play hooky and spend the day with Amy had it not been for the benefactors being here, which brings me to the reason for my visit. They apparently liked the lasers the last time they visited."

"I want to hear you say it, " Leonard insists as he folds his arms across his chest and smiles smugly at Sheldon.

"Say what?" Sheldon questions. He knows exactly what Leonard wants and Leonard knows he has Sheldon backed into the proverbial corner.

"You know what."

"Fine. I need your help, Leonard, " Sheldon confesses as he looks pleadingly to his best friend.

"Sure buddy, if you tell me what you did to make Amy scream like that? Penny has never been that loud."

"I'll lend you the books Howard and Raj gave to me at my bachelor party, " Sheldon offers. "Joke's on them."

"You read them?!" Leonard exclaims in shock.

"With Amy working nights, I have nothing but time on my hands, " Sheldon explains.

Opening his mouth to make a crude comment, Leonard thinks twice about it before deciding some things are better left unsaid.

Quickly deciding to use the laser to make water boil and bring out the hologram machine as well as the large electric magnet, Sheldon and Leonard have their experiments set up and ready to go as they make their way to President Siebert's office at 10:30. After being introduced to Stanislaw Pierogi and his 10-year-old son, Henry, Sheldon and Leonard take them on a quick tour of the physics department before going into the lab for the experiments.

"Do you like magic, Henry?" Leonard asks as he turns on the magnet.

"Cool! What is that?!" Henry exclaims as he comes to stand next to Leonard?

"It's a electronic magnet. It's 1,000 times stronger than the magnets we've played with as a kid, " Leonard explains as he grabs the large metal ball and places it over the magnet, making it float. "I'm the great Magneto."

"Magneto is a supervillain in The X-Men, " Henry explains for his dad, who just smiles in response. "You're too cool to be a supervillain, Dr. Leonard. Dr. Sheldon could totally be a supervillain, " Henry decides, making Leonard chuckle and reply, "I've thought so as well. You'll need safety glasses while we play with the laser. Ever wanted to blow something up?"

"All the time!" Henry replies as Leonard grabs a pack of balloons.

"Blow up a few balloons and then I'll let you use the laser on them, " Leonard promises.

"Tell me, Dr. Cooper, other than proving you have some rather neat toys at your disposal, what purpose does your electromagnet or using a laser to pop a balloon serve? If I'm to part with my money, I want to know that it is being used responsibly, " Mr. Pierogi wonders as he watches his son's eyes light up with curiosity and has to bite back his smile. "These so-called 'experiments' are not advancing our understanding of the universe or curing diseases."

"A valid point, sir, " Sheldon replies. "I am a theoretical physicist, concentrating my research on string theory and dark matter. If we can understand how gravitational pull works, we may be able to understand black holes. Now, it's not a cure for cancer, but it could bring us one step closer to answering the questions of how Earth was created and how we got here. Your concerns are valid and if the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak, I'd hesitate too. My research isn't going to change lives. Not in the way my wife's research will. She works in our neuroscience department and is currently conducting a research study on the cognitive and physiological changes in the brain of a person with sleep apnea."

"Fascinating. I have had sleep apnea for 10 years. I'd love to..." He pauses as he feels a slight tremor under his feet, as though he bumped into a table.

"Earthquake. Quickly under the table. That was just the initial shockwave, " Leonard cautions.

Making sure Henry is completely under the computer desk, Leonard sticks just his head under to protect himself as Mr. Pierogi freezes, not able to make a move towards taking cover. Seeing this, Sheldon jumps into action as the Earth below them rumbles with intense fury. Sheldon pushes on Mr. Pierogi's back until he drops to his knees and takes cover under the desk as various glass bottles, books and electronics fall to the floor. Needing to protect himself, Sheldon goes to stand in the doorway and braces against it by placing his hands against the jamb and keeping his head down.

With the power going out and the floor still shaking, Sheldon starts making a plan. They have to get the kid and his father to safety, priority one. He needs to reach Amy to make sure she's safe but cell towers may be jammed or out of service. This earthquake is stronger than anything he has ever felt before and Sheldon takes deep breaths as he tries to calm himself. Today is the day he proves he's a superhero, not a coward.

Amy is sound asleep as the earthquake hits, throwing her out of bed. Growing up in California, she's no stranger to earthquakes but the violent jerking jolts have her very concerned. In every other earthquake she's been in, it's felt like more of a rolling sensation. Always prepared for an emergency, Sheldon took great pains to earthquake-proof their bedroom, the room he determined they are most likely to be in if 'the big one' strikes. Knowing there is nothing in the room that might fall over or shatter, Amy crawls to the closet while the earth is still moving beneath her and retrieves the neon orange emergency kit. There's going to be lots of glass in the living room and kitchen, she realizes as she hears things breaking, so she opens the zipper and pulls out the black steel-toed hiking boots Sheldon made her purchase when she moved in. She smells gas she realizes as the shaking comes to a stop. Alright, she's safe. She needs to get her cell phone and text Sheldon. Standing up, she locates her phone on the floor then opens the bedroom door. It's a disaster zone of broken glass, tipped over shelves and various books and knick-knacks strewn about. The largest bookcase fell sideways in front of the door trapping her. Priority one: text Sheldon, she decides.

"Is everyone alright?" Leonard wonders. The magnet fell onto his foot, for sure spraining it if not breaking a bone. Normally, he'd be crying about now but he has to get the kid to safety. First things first.

"I'm okay, " Henry replies.

"Yes, I'm fine, " Stanislaw answers.

"The magnet fell onto my foot. Sheldon, I need you to lift it off me, " Leonard requests.

As he looks into the hallway, Sheldon sees people beginning to evacuate. Knowing he can't lift the 200-pound magnet by himself, he calls out, "we need help in here!"

Hearing this, several people, including Howard and Raj, rush forward to assist as Sheldon looks for someone he trusts to guide Henry and Mr. Pierogi to the designated evacuation route.

"The electromagnet fell on Leonard's foot. Howard, Raj, Kripke, I need you to help me lift it. Alex, good, can you please take Mr. Pierogi and his son to the designated evacuation area?" Sheldon rapid fires, not waiting for a response as he yanks the first aid kit off the wall by the door and finds an elastic bandage to wrap around Leonard's foot.

Not waiting for assistance, Mr. Pierogi lifts the magnet by himself and places it back on the work table before crouching down next to Leonard. "Let's get a plaster on that, shall we?"

"Your dad is my superhero, " Leonard softly murmurs to Henry, who looks terrified. "Are you alright, buddy?"

"Yeah. My dad does ninja warrior, " Henry explains.

"I love that show, " Leonard replies as he tries to distract both Henry and himself. "So, you never told me what you want to be when you grow up?"

"I love robots so I want to be a scientist that gets to build robots, " Henry explains.

"An engineer. That's awesome. My friend, Howard, is an engineer. He built a robot arm that the astronauts at NASA use on the International Space Sation. He also built their toilet system and when it broke, he got to go into space to fix it, " Leonard explains.

"Awesome!" Henry exclaims. "Does he work here?"

"He does, " Howard answers from the door. "I'm Howard Walowitz. I'm sorry I can't let you play with some of my robots today, but once we get to the safe zone, I can show you pictures on my phone."

"Cool! Are you going to be able to walk, Dr. Leonard?" Henry wonders as Raj and Howard act as crutches as Leonard stands up and hisses when trying to put weight on his foot.

"I think it's broken, " Stanis explains to Leonard. "Best not to take the elevator should an aftershock strike. Are emergency procedures in place to get you to safety?"

"I'll stay with him. The rest of you should evacuate the building, " Sheldon orders.

"We're being ordered to shelter in place, " Raj reads from his cell phone. There are downed light poles and power lines which may be live. Initial reports are that it was an 8.6."

Feeling his cell phone buzz in his pocket, Sheldon pales with panic as he reads Amy's text _Safe but trapped in apt. Bookcase fell in front of door. Smell natural gas. R u safe?_

"I have to get out of here, " Sheldon panics suddenly as he shoves his phone back in his pocket.

"Sheldon..." Howard replies, pushing Sheldon back.

"Amy's trapped in our apartment and smells natural gas. I have to get to her, " Sheldon explains.

"Sheldon, wait! I know you're scared but don't risk hurting yourself. What do you mean trapped?" Raj wonders?

"A bookcase fell in front of the door, " he explains while texting Amy, _Leonard injured foot but we're safe. Told to shelter in place. Ax in zombie kit. I'm calling super about gas smell. I love you._

Yeah, like she's strong enough to use an ax, she thinks as she reads Sheldon's reply. She has two options, Amy decides as she kicks the stand in frustration, drag it just a few inches so she can open the door, or, she climbs down the fire escape. Liking that idea even less than wielding an ax, Amy grabs the top corner of the shelf and grunts in exertion as she slowly moves it away from the door and swings it from horizontal to vertical. Task complete, she opens the door and turns on the flashlight on her phone to guide her way down the stairs. The, building is eerily quiet as she carefully rounds each corner of the stairwell and makes it to the lobby unscathed where she is greeted by first responders.

"Is there anyone else in the building?" They ask her.

"I'm not sure. I live on the 4th floor in apartment B and was the only one at home. My husband and our neighbors in Apartment A are at work," Amy relays as the building creeks and groans. "I smelled natural gas in my apartment."

"We're working on turning it off. The building came off the foundation and we are afraid of collapse if we have an aftershock. Do you have someplace safe to go? It's a mess out there."

"I'll have to make some calls to friends. Can I get to Caltech right now?."

"Afraid not, ma'am. Caltech has several downed power lines and light poles. They're being ordered to shelter in place."

"We need to get her out of here," a police officer orders as he forcefully leads Amy to the exit.

As she looks around, it looks like a nuclear bomb went off in the middle of their street. Glass is strewn everywhere, the unbreakable palm trees have been uprooted and while the only structure to collapse is the metal overhang of the gas station across the street, every building on their block has suffered heavy damage.

"Oh, my God," she gasps as she makes her way to the car while texting Sheldon, "in my car. Nowhere to go."

With Howard and Bernadette graciously offering to let both displaced couples stay with them, Amy makes her way to Gardenia Ave and arrives just as Penny and Bernadette pull into the drive. While Penny carries a fussy Halley inside, Amy carries backpacks and diaper bags while Bernadette gets Michael. Not sure what to expect for damage, Bernie requests, "watch your step and don't let Halley down until I make sure there's no broken glass."

The shelter in place order for Caltech is lifted shortly after 1 and despite their repeated requests, Leonard decides that his foot is not a true medical emergency and he'll wait until tomorrow to see a doctor. After a stop for crutches, they carefully make their way to Howard's, thrilled when they see the block has power. All Sheldon wants to do is hug and kiss Amy and maybe if they take the basement they can have an encore of this morning with Amy going as slow as she wishes. They find the girls sitting in the living room each with a full wine glass as they walk (and hobble) in. Each of the wives leap up and throw themselves at their respective husbands as Raj goes to hug Halley.

"I was so worried," Sheldon whispers as he holds Amy's cheeks in the palms of his hands and gives her a once over looking for even a scratch she didn't tell him about.

She pulls him even closer and hungrily kisses him as she holds his head in place. Hearing wolf whistles and a well-timed,"hubba hubba from Howard, they blush while Amy lays her head on his shoulder as he hugs her.

"Remember there are minors in the house," Penny teases.

"There will be no nookie while under our roof! That goes for all of you," Bernie warns.

"The hot tub,", Amy and Sheldon think at the exact same time.

Spending the rest of the day playing board games, the girls stay in the kitchen as the guys set up camp in the living room. Deciding to take a break to get something to drink in the kitchen, Sheldon leaves Raj and Howard arguing over the best version of Dungeons and Dragons as he makes his way to the swinging door of the kitchen and pauses as he hears Amy ask, " have either of you ever faked an orgasm with your husbands?"

 _What the... WHAT?!_ Sheldon thinks as the guys look up to see why he didn't go into the kitchen. He places a single finger over his lips, signaling to be quiet so he can listen.

"Once, but I was mad at Leonard."

"I've honestly lost count of how many I've faked," Bernie replies. "Why? Did you?"

"Yes, a few weeks ago I was exhausted from work but it is so rare for Sheldon to even want sex, nevermind initiate it. I faked the first one but the others were real. I've been feeling guilty ever since. It's eating at me. Should I tell him?" Amy wonders.

"Yes," Sheldon whispers as Penny and Bernie yell, "no! Are you crazy?!"

"I've never told you this before, Amy, but when it comes to your intimate relationship with Sheldon, I'm envious," Bernie confesesses. "You waited for each other and are each other's first and only. That's something so rare and precious that it makes me envious of not having that experience too... of not waiting until I found someone who loves me as much as I love them."

"My first time was in the back of a pickup truck when I was 17. We knew nothing about what we were doing, nothing about foreplay or what the hell a clitoris was... it was awful. The next few guys weren't much better. As long as they got their rocks off, who cared if I came? But with our men... they are different. Their sexual satisfaction is tied to pleasing their partners. I understand you and Sheldon are honest to a fault with each other, but sweetie, all you will do by telling him is hurt him and I know that is the last thing you want to do," Penny advises.

"Does it feel different? Can they tell?" Amy worries.

"If he didn't question it at the time then you did a good enough job to fool him," Penny advises.

He's heard enough. Turning on his heels Sheldon decides he'll go to the back yard and spend some time in the play house while he processes this grand betrayl. He ignores the guys questioning where he's going as he slams the door and makes the windows shake in the frame.

"Whoa," Raj comments as the girls come into the living room.

"What was that?" Bernie wonders.

"Whatever you were discussing..." Howard explains.

"He heard everything." Penny sums up.

Amy decides there's only one word suitable for a situation like this, "oh, _fuck_."


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much for all of the great reviews, follows and favorites!

The chapter with the earthquake was published a couple of days **before** the devastating 7.0 quake that struck Alaska. My heart goes out to everyone affected by the disaster. If I hadn't already published it, I would've definitely changed the storyline in light of real life events. I hope I haven't offended anyone with my creative decisions.

* * *

Growing up, Sheldon never really had all that much in common with his big brother, Georgie. George Junior took after his namesake. He loved football, muscle cars, beer and pretty girls while Sheldon... didn't.

The one thing they did have in common was a love of video games. Sheldon preferred (still does to this day in fact) the adventure games such as Legends of Zelda or Super Mario Brothers while Georgie's rule of thumb was "the bloodier the better." Georgie especially loved a game called Mortal Kombat. In one fight scene, after winning a battle, the winning character would rip out the losing character's heart. Sheldon feels like that is exactly what just happened to him.

Amy has ripped out his heart before, in this very house in fact, as she declared him to be selfish and immature when she terminated their relationship. It took them six months to reconcile after that. For Sheldon, his heart was put back together heavily damaged and he likes to imagine with some jagged edges. He pictures that all that was holding it together was Amy's love, the metaphorical super glue. Maybe rather than ripping his heart from his chest, Amy instead tore off the bandaids holding the pieces of his heart together from the last time she broke it. Unlike the last time where he was able to refrain from crying until reaching the privacy of his bedroom, Sheldon makes it all of three steps onto the front porch before the tears begin to fall like rain. This time, he can't retreat to the privacy of his bedroom, he can't throw a pity party for himself and he sure as hell won't be begging Amy for forgiveness for a crime he didn't commit.

His home has been deemed uninhabitable by the city following the earthquake and they are working to find a way to allow the tenants of the building 30 minutes to grab their most prized possessions. Luckily, Amy had the forethought to grab their emergency duffle bag so at least they have 3 days worth of clothes, some cash, and copies of their most important legal documents. Leonard and Penny only have the clothes on their backs and each other. Sheldon needs his wife now more than ever as they pick up the pieces of their lives, but right now, well she can ponfo mirren.

Sheldon makes his way along the side of the house and opens the gate for the backyard by entering the security code on the electronic lock. As it opens, he sees Amy already standing in front of the playhouse. How well she knows him. She looks up as she hears the lock on the gate click and when he stands rooted in place, she comes to him.

Her heart is breaking at seeing him crying as she comes to stand in front of him. Growing up, she was told that love shouldn't hurt, your true love will never make you cry. If only that were true. With a whisper of his name, she reaches out to cup his cheek in her hand.

"Don't touch me, " Sheldon growls in anger as he backs up out of her reach.

"Okay, " she murmurs, dropping her hand to her side. "Can we talk?"

"No. I have nothing to say to you right now."

"Sheldon, let me explain, " she pleads while reaching for his hand on impulse.

"I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!" He yells as he grabs her wrist and squeezes it to make his point.

"You're hurting me, " she cries as he immediately lets go.

"It doesn't even begin to compare to how you have hurt me. What else are you lying to me about, Amy, hmm? You can lie so easily without a second thought to who you might hurt that you have now called into question everything you have ever told me during the course of our relationship. When you promised me it was only one kiss with Dave Gibbs, were you lying about that? When you whisper " I love you" as we are falling asleep at night, are you lying about that too?" Sheldon wonders.

"How dare you, " Amy fumes, wanting to slap him for even insinuating it. "Do not question if I love you because _that_ is not up for debate. I love you, Sheldon, and you know it."

"Meaningless words at this point, " he sluffs off her declaration. "Go back inside. Let me think."

"No."

"Excuse me?" He questions, never expecting that answer from her.

"We need to talk and..."

"And what? Kiss and make up? ', Oh, it's okay, honey, you can keep faking those orgasms!' Go to hell!" He yells at her before storming off to the playhouse, leaving her in stunned silence.

His mom always said that you have to take your time with Sheldon but Amy knows that the longer they go without talking, the more worked up he's going to get about this. She needs to at least reassure him that he did nothing wrong. She walks over to the playhouse and sits on the grass outside near the open window frame so she knows he can hear her. Bringing her knees to her chest she sighs heavily.

"Sheldon, I want you to listen to me very carefully. You did nothing wrong. This is entirely my fault, alright? I will give you all the space and time you need but you have to promise me two things in return, " Amy requests."

"I'm not promising you anything. Leave me alone, Amy, " He quietly responds as he sniffles.

" I lied to you. I hurt you. You did nothing to cause this or deserve this. Do not blame yourself for this. You did absolutely nothing wrong."

"What part of leave me alone don't you understand?!" He venomously growls at her.

"Don't initiate the termination agreement without giving me a chance to explain, " she quietly pleads with him, knowing this offense meets Sheldon's definition of 'high crimes and misdemeanors' for which he can file for divorce.

"Go inside. I'll find you when I'm ready to talk."

"Okay."

He is an island unto himself, Sheldon decides as he watches Amy go back inside the house through the sliding glass doors. He hurt her, he _deliberately_ physically hurt his wife and for a single second, it felt good. That scares the hell out of him. He is staying out here until he can absolutely guarantee that he will not want to hurt Amy, physically or emotionally. It could take days for the latter.

She loves him, completely and unconditionally, of that he is certain. It took her all of 10 minutes to fall in love with him, she told him the night they exchanged "I love you's" for the first time. As soon as he made her laugh by telling her a joke about frogs in a biology lab the day they met in that coffee shop, it was game over... for both of them, he's not afraid to confess now. It really was love at first sight, as ridiculous as that sounds. He often recalls how his heart sped up when she laughed and smiled at him that first time so it was no surprise to him when he was the one to ask for her phone number. He was done for the moment he met that vixen.

She's scared; of him, of fighting, of an impending divorce, he's not sure, possibly all of the above. He could hear it in the way her voice was quieter and shook as she spoke. Divorce is not an option, for him at least. He doesn't value much from his Southern Baptist upbringing, but that whole, "till death do us part" line in traditional marriage vows? He's completely on board with that. He only drew up the Separation Agreement for her, to give her an out should she ever wish to leave. So, how do they fix this? How can he trust her again? Sheldon has no clue.

"Do you want me to go talk with him?" Penny wonders as she watches Amy's hunched shoulders as she stares out the sliding glass doors at the sun setting over the horizon. It's been an hour since she came back in and she's been standing at the door that entire time trying to keep it together. If Sheldon could just realize Amy did this so she _didn't_ hurt him...

"No, " Amy replies, "I made this mess and I need to be the one to fix it."

"Well, dinner's ready. Come eat, " Bernie encourages as she gives the pot of chili one more stir before turning off the heat.

"I'm just going to take a sweatshirt out to Sheldon, " Amy decides as she goes to the living room to retrieve the emergency sweatshirt from their duffle bag.

Pulling it out, she's a little surprised to find that Sheldon owns any team name clothing, nevermind a Texas Longhorns sweatshirt. It looks like it has never even been worn before, which is confirmed a few seconds later as she spots the price tag on the sleeve. There's a reason Sheldon didn't remove that and she better leave it alone unless she wants to make things even worse. Going back into the kitchen she rolls the sweatshirt into a ball and sets it on the counter before dishing up a bowl of chili and cornbread for Sheldon. She's just adding the cheddar cheese and onions when Bernie comes back in with her kids in tow.

"If he wants to eat, he can grow a pair, be a man and stop this passive-aggressive doo doo, " Bernie decides while strapping Halley in her high chair. "He's not eating in my kids' playhouse."

In no mood for Bernie's attitude tonight, Amy snaps back, "I am taking food to my husband. I am the one that fu... Uh messed up. He did nothing wrong. If you can't understand that then maybe we need to go stay at the shelter."

"Maybe you should, " Bernie replies as a collective gasp rings out from everyone else.

"No one is staying at a shelter!" Howard insists. "Take the food to Sheldon. Living room. Now, " he demands of his wife as he hands Baby Michael to Raj. "What is wrong with you? They are our family!" Howard yells the second they step into the living room.

Leonard opens the sliding glass door for Amy as she steps through with the sweatshirt tucked under her elbow as she holds the bowl with both hands. She can see his shadow reflecting on the wall of the play house where he still resides. He's almost too tall for it, she notices with a laugh as she hears the easy bake oven ding. Bernie moved a mini fridge out there recently so Sheldon must've stole the pizza bagels.

"Sheldon? I brought you dinner. Bernie made chili and cornbread. I also have your emergency sweatshirt. It's going to cool off quickly with the sundown. Do you want milk, apple juice or water to drink?"

"Milk," he requests.

"I'll be right back, " she promises as she sets the bowl on the patio table and goes back inside to get a large glass of milk for Sheldon.

Amy watches from the counter as Sheldon strokes the longhorn symbol on the front of the orange sweatshirt and then carefully places it on an empty chair before sitting down to eat. It must be a gift from a family member, she concludes. Opening the door, she silently takes the milk to him, setting it on the table. He doesn't say anything so she turns around and starts to go back inside.

"It was a gift from my father, " he answers her unspoken question. "The sweatshirt. It's the last thing he ever purchased for me. Dad wanted me to go to the University of Texas for grad school. I got my acceptance letter the day before he died and he ran right out to buy all of us, Mom, Meemaw, him and me Longhorns merchandise. He told me he was proud of me. That's the last thing he ever said to me before he died. After that... I couldn't... go to school there and Caltech offered me a full scholarship provided I work for them after I graduated. Mom said I'd be crazy to turn down a deal like that so I took it. If I hadn't, who knows if we would've met. I doubt it, so in a way, this sweatshirt led me to you."

"A sweatshirt and a dirty sock, " Amy replies. "Can we talk?" She wonders.

"I'm not ready yet, Amy, " Sheldon softly replies.

"Okay. Bernie and I had a spat and we may need to go stay at a shelter if Howard isn't able to calm her down."

"Have you talked with your parents?" He wonders, surprised Amy would stay in a shelter over staying with her family.

"I have. They're on a cruise right now and have no idea what they'll be coming home to."

"I guess the next step for us is trying to find a place for rent but I imagine that they're going to be hard to come by after a disaster of this magnitude. We need out of here before Bernie starts having dreams of killing us with a dull butter knife."

"We need to call our insurance company in the morning. I'll start looking online for rentals. I'd like to stay near Caltech but are you opposed to moving further away if we have to, at least temporarily?" Amy wonders. At least they're talking about something.

" It's not ideal but I have accepted the reality of the situation. I'm glad campus is closed. You can get a good night's sleep, " he confesses before taking a bite of cornbread.

"My circadian rhythms are all messed up right now. I'll be awake all night. Come inside if you get cold? I'll stay in another room, " she promises.

"Okay, " he decides.

Throwing her a bone, he calls out, "Amy? I'm in this until death parts us, even now."

"I love you too, " she replies before going back inside.

There is a slight wind leaving a chill in the air as Sheldon eats his dinner. He can't sleep out here tonight as much as he is not ready to spend the night in the same bed as her. He feels calm enough that they can at least be in the same room so after draining his milk, he takes the dishes inside and rinses them at the sink before placing them in the dishwasher. Deciding to be a good guest, Sheldon spends a few minutes putting the leftovers away and wiping down the kitchen counters before going to the living room. Leonard, Raj and Penny are playing Monopoly while Amy is on her phone as she sits on the couch.

"Hey. Want to join us? We just started, " Penny explains while patting the floor next to her.

"No, thank you. Amy and I need to talk, " he replies as Amy looks up from her phone in surprise. "Kitchen?"

"Eavesdroppers, " Amy replies, glaring at Penny who nods in agreement.

"We'll give you privacy, right?" Leonard promises as he looks to both Raj and Penny pointedly.

"Right, " Penny and Raj dutifully reply.

Amy still doesn't trust the little spies so she walks into the kitchen and keeps going out to the patio. Confused, Sheldon follows her like the good little puppy he is as they go around the side of the house and come to a stop at the gate.

"Where are you going?" Sheldon questions when Amy just stands there.

"To the car. I don't trust them to give us privacy and I know Bernie has a parabolic mic she'd use if we stay in the backyard. The car will afford us both privacy and a heater. Can you open the gate? I don't remember the code."

As they reach the car and Amy gets in the back seat, Sheldon hesitates about where he should sit. The front passenger seat is his normal spot and since he doesn't want Amy touching him, it would be optimal, however, he can't crank his head around to look at her all night. Decision made, he moves the front passenger seat all the way forward before getting in the back.

"Don't touch me, " he warns again.

"Lesson learned, " Amy snaps back at him. "I never expected you to get physical with me during a fight. That... it scared me, Sheldon, that you could ever physically hurt me... it terrifies me."

"I'm sorry, " he murmurs in apology. "It terrifies me too."

She doesn't acknowledge his apology as she keeps her head down while twisting her ring upon her finger. They have always been able to talk to one another, even when things between them were at their absolute lowest point, they could still talk, so why is this so incredibly difficult now? _Because it's our first fight as a married couple,_ his brain supplies. Unsure how to open this conversation, they sit in silence.

What does she even say to him, Amy wonders as she watches him stare out the window from the corner of her eye. With only pockets of homes around the neighborhood having power, the stars are visible tonight. Is he wishing he was on Mars instead of sitting here with her right now? Truth be told, she wants to be anywhere but here too. They need to talk, they _have_ to talk, but she has no clue what to say without making this a whole lot worse.

"Was it only one kiss with Dave Gibbs?" Sheldon asks. He shouldn't be jealous of that British giant, after all, he got the girl in the end. Still, the thought that he isn't Amy's only lover... it's unbearable.

"Yes. It was the one kiss goodnight that you saw, but we were about to kiss again when you knocked on the door. Why are you asking about Dave?" Amy wonders?

"Like I said, you lie so easily that I no longer know what is the truth."

"I wouldn't lie to you about something like that, " Amy promises. "I faked one orgasm _one_ time. You're acting like you caught me having an affair!"

"Are you?" Sheldon immediately asks, fearing the answer. When she says she's at work is she really...

" **NO**!" Amy exclaims. _Uh oh, he's awakened Angry Amy._

He watches his wife as she balls her fists and pushes them down into the grey cloth seat while biting her lip to keep from screaming in frustration.

She takes a few deep breaths through her mouth before saying much calmer than he expected, "I waited for you, Sheldon. You are the only person I want to ever be intimate with. You are my husband and whether you believe me or not... it will not change the fact that I love you."

"Do you know why we waited so long to be intimate?" Sheldon wonders, not giving her time to respond. "I was put off by the thought of your bodily fluids coming into contact with mine, yes, but that was a very small part of it. I made us wait until I was certain that coitus would not just be us frantically smashing our bathing suit parts together out of lust, but it was because we love each other. I wanted to know that I am it for you. I didn't feel that until we reconciled."

"Sheldon..."

"I was of the mistaken belief that our intimate acts were mutually pleasurable. You seemed to enjoy yourself, and lately you've been wanting to try new positions and ways of being intimate, so I had no clue you weren't completely satisfied. Then, you don't tell me, you don't talk to me, your _husband_ about it but go running to Blonde and Blonder? They gave you terrible advice! This is the kind of thing you talk to ME about, Amy!"

" I faked it because it hurt! I wasn't ready for you and..."

"Why didn't you tell me it hurt?" He whispers. The remorse in his voice is enough to bring Amy close to tears.

"It is so rare for you to want sex, nevermind initiate it that I thought if I stopped you, you'd take it as me rejecting you."

"I was hurting you, Amy. You should've told me."

"I know."

"Has it hurt before? Have you faked an orgasm before?" He wonders as he reaches for the hand he so violently grabbed earlier and brings it to his lips, kissing the spot where he pressed down on her nerve to cause her pain.

"No. I have never needed to. We usually spend a good amount of time kissing and caressing each other before you go for, 'the main event' so when you finally do touch me... there... I am soaking wet with arousal. I wasn't ready. I wasn't wet. You honestly didn't notice?"

"I did, but I didn't realize it would be painful for you. I'm not a mindreader, Amy. You need to tell me if it hurts or you are just too tired or not in the mood. You didn't stop me. I understood that to be consent."

"It was. Sheldon, how can you even think that it wasn't?"

"I hurt you! I am no better than that bastard that sexually assaulted you in your lab!"

"Sheldon... I don't even know what to say to that, " she admits with a heavy sigh. "You are not like him. The fact that we are even having a conversation about consent proves that you are not like him. Do you think I would've let you bring me to orgasm 3 times if it wasn't consensual? Would I have asked to make love in a new position if it wasn't consensual? No, I would have fought you off. I would've done everything I could think of to get away from you... just like I did with him."

"It coud've been so much worse. He could've..."

"Yes. But he didn't. I didn't let him take something that belongs to you."

She still needs to say two words to him that will hopefully end this fight. Turning to him, she reaches for both hands, lacing their fingers together. She has never seen this look on Sheldon's face before and it scares her. It's a mixture of anger, remorse, fear and something she can't describe as she looks into his tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon, " she whispers. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"Okay, " he whispers back. "It's okay. Come here, " he requests as he let's go of her hands and lays his arm across the back of the seat so she can snuggle into him. As she settles, Sheldon kisses her cheek before laying his head back against the rest and closing his eyes.

"I will have to punish you for this, you know, " he warns.

"Are you going to spank me?" Amy wonders as her voice takes on a low flirtatious tone.

"No, you enjoy that too much. Your punishment is to be determined. I hate fighting with you."

"I hate it too. I wish we could kiss and make up... maybe have an encore of this morning?"

"That feels like a hundred years ago given everything that has happened today."

"I know, " she agrees. "I've been trying to mentally catalog what we need to grab when we get let back into the building. Do you know where your most valuable comics are?" She wonders.

"They're just things, Amy. I'm getting only the things that cannot be replaced; our wedding photo album, your tiara, our fireproof safe, clothes and if they're not too badly damaged, our laptops. We are organized so I should be able to get everything and get out in 10 minutes. I think you need to go across the hall to help Leonard and Penny. They'll be in a panic with so little time. Can you think of anything else you want me to retrieve?"

"The brain scan, " she requests as she starts crying uncontrollably. "The frame broke so be careful when you pick it up."

"Why are you crying?" He wonders while pulling her closer.

"Stress. I want to save it all. Everything in that apartment has a memory associated with it. I can't believe we lost everything."

"It can be replaced. I was so scared when I read you were trapped. I have never been more terrified in my life, " he confesses while wiping away her tears with his thumb. "Everything else can be replaced but you... if I had lost you today..." He can't finish his thought as he chokes back a sob.

"I'm here. I'm here, baby. I'm safe. I'm here, " Amy whispers as Sheldon crushes her to him, hugging her as he shakes from the force of his sobs.

Not good enough. Closer. He needs her closer. Wrapping his arms around her, he gently brings her to lay on top of him so he can stroke her hair as he calms down.

"Love you, " she whispers against his lips.

Watching from the front window, Penny smiles as she sees Sheldon bring Amy into his arms as they lay down in the back seat of the car. It looks like they worked it out. Going to sit on the couch, she jokes, "that car is going to start rocking in the next few minutes."

"Eww, " Bernadette groans.

"Leave them alone, " Howard demands as he bounces Halley on his knee. "I know I'm usually the first to rip on Sheldon, but what I saw today... for the 30 minutes or so that Amy was trapped, Sheldon was an absolute mess. We had the benefactor and his son with us so Sheldon tried to stay calm, but he sat in a corner playing with his wedding ring as tears ran down his cheeks. It was heartbreaking to see. At one point, I heard him praying, literally asking God to save his wife."

"Wow, " Penny and Bernie breathlessly exclaim in awe.

"He had been talking about Amy's sleep apnea research with Mr. Pierogi, the benefactor, when the earthquake hit. After Amy texted that she was safe, he picked up the conversation. The pride in his voice as he talked about Amy and her research... it was something very special to witness. I don't think Amy knows yet, but because of Sheldon, the neuroscience department got a $5 million endowment today with the stipulation that it is earmarked specifically for sleep apnea research, " Leonard shares as Penny and Bernadette's jaws drop to the floor.

"How about you guys. Did you get any money?" Penny wonders.

"No, but we got something even better. Henry, Mr. Pierogi's 10-year-old son, wants to be an engineer when he grows up. Every Friday after school, he gets to come hang out with us so we can foster his love of science, " Leonard shares as he grins.

"I bet it's killing Sheldon that the kid wants to go into engineering?" Bernie wonders with an evil grin.

"Surprisingly, no, " Raj chimes in. "Sheldon said that it is an honor to be able to share his love of science with Henry and thanked Mr. Pierogi for the opportunity. That's not to say that Sheldon won't try to steer Henry towards physics but right now, he's just excited to have a new playmate."

"Are you asleep?" Sheldon questions as he listens to Amy's breathing even out.

She's been laying with her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat to calm herself after their fight. He's much too tall for this cramped car and a going to have a backache if they stay here much longer but in here, their little bubble, she's relaxed, she's here with him and no harm can come to her.

"No, just very very relaxed. We need to go in .I'm getting cold."

"Okay. It's been an exhausting day..."

"An exhausting three months, " Amy interjects as Sheldon kisses her forehead in agreement.

"I'm very much looking forward to sharing a bed with you tonight, " he whispers.

"It will just be sleeping. We can't..."

"You'll just have to be very quiet, " Sheldon insists as he grins her.

" _I_ have to be quiet? I hate to break it to you, Babe, but you are just as loud as me."

"I know, " he replies with a saucy wink.

"Sheldon, what are you planning?" Amy questions as he scoots to sit up and detangle their limbs.

"I'm getting revenge for all those years that they made fun of me for not coitusing your brains out, " he explains as he opens the car door.

"Sheldon, wait!" Amy exclaims as she quickly climbs out behind him.

He spots the window curtain moving as Penny looks out to check on them and immediately decides he's going to have some fun now. He waits for Amy to come around to his side of the car. As soon as she's close enough, he reaches out and wraps his arm protectively around her waist as he leans her backwards and plants a kiss on her surprised lips. She soon relaxes into the kiss and traces her tongue along his bottom lip as he pulls her back upright and she wraps her arms around his shoulders as they continue to make out with Sheldon backing her against the car door as he caresses her cheek with his thumb. Gasping for air, Amy breaks the kiss and looks at him, stunned but grinning.

"I've always wanted to do that, the sailor kiss, " she whispers.

"Well, now you have. I considered doing it at our wedding reception but with our parents there..."

"I'm glad you didn't. In that dress, if I had fallen, I'd look like a turtle on its back, " Amy jokes as she helplessly fails her arms, making Sheldon laugh.

"Ahh, music to my ears. I love when I can make you laugh."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Let's go in. I'm cold."


	4. Chapter 4

A quick and dirty chapter (just how the Shamy like it!) Enjoy!

* * *

Since getting married, Sheldon has learned three surprising things about sex:

#1) Spontaneity leads to the most passionate lovemaking

#2) He can get anything he wants out of Amy in return for oral sex (it's how he got her to agree to Legoland for their honeymoon)

#3) He loves making Amy scream while pounding her like a screen door in a hurricane

Slow and gentle lovemaking with Amy is great too, in fact that's their preferred rhythm most of the time, but every once in a while, such as this morning, it's nice to mix it up, Sheldon thinks as he tosses the sweatshirt into the dryer to warm it. So, how does he want it tonight? Slow, gentle and discreet or quick and dirty, with Amy's constant moans and the creaking of bedsprings shaking the rafters?

How was she able to fake an orgasm without him noticing it wasn't real, anyway? He's usually very perceptive to the signs that she's getting close; increased vocalizations, rocking her pelvis, rapid breathing... things he completely missed that time. Well, he'll just have to pay better attention next time... or, he could make absolutely certain Amy can never fake an orgasm again. Yes, he much prefers that, as an idea takes shape.

 _Come to the laundry room. Bring the blanket_ , Sheldon texts his wife before starting another load of sheets in the washer.

"Hey, what are you doing back here?" Amy wonders as she comes in a few seconds later.

She's changed into a pair of grey sweatpants and his old Super Mario Brothers t-shirt that no longer fits him but he refuses to get rid of. Looking her up and down, Sheldon licks his lips when he realizes she isn't wearing a bra.

"Thinking, " he replies as Amy hoists herself up onto the dryer, putting her at the same height as her husband.

"You've always found menial tasks relaxing, " Amy replies in understanding. "I thought we worked through this?" She questions in concern while gently cupping his jaw in her hand.

"We did, " Sheldon reassures. "I've decided upon your punishment."

"Alright. I've been a _very_ bad girl, " Amy murmurs just above a whisper.

"Yes, you have been. This is a very serious offense, Doctor Fowler, and deserves nothing less than the severest punishment. For the next 30 days, I am in complete control of your orgasms. I decide when, where, how and if you cum. You will not masturbate without my permission. You will not cum unless I say you can. I am solely responsible for your sexual pleasure, Amy Farrah Fowler. Your orgasms belong to me and you will be having many, many orgasms. Understood?" He whispers in her ear.

 _Damn him. Leave it to Sheldon to punish her with sex,_ Amy thinks as she mutely nods in understanding.

"Good. When I'm done punishing you, I will know everything there is to know about the female orgasm and you will never be able to fake it again, " Sheldon warns before kissing the warm patch of skin just below her earlobe. "Normally, I'd draw up a notice of your infraction and the corresponding punishment, but under the circumstances, this will need to be a verbal agreement. By agreeing, you give your consent for sexually intimate touching to occur at any time and without notice. You, of course, have the absolute right to reject such advances at any time and for any reason."

"Oh, I won't object, " Amy promises as she squirms on the dryer from the wetness pooling between her thighs. "I agree and consent."

"I thought you might, " Sheldon whispers as he leans in for a soft and slow kiss.

Just when Amy is starting to get into the kiss and tries to deepen it by darting the tip of her tongue out to lick Sheldon's bottom lip, Sheldon pulls back and grins at her, leaving her more than a little frustrated.

"Hold that thought, " Sheldon whispers as he opens the dryer door and removes his orange sweatshirt.

After carefully folding the sweatshirt, Sheldon restarts the dryer. Laying the sweatshirt on top of the washer, Sheldon places his palms either side of Amy and leans forward on the dryer as he whispers in her ear, "ready for your first orgasm?"

"They'll hear us, " Amy half-heartedly protests as Sheldon removes her shoes and places them next to the orange sweatshirt, then pulls off her black socks, tucking them inside one shoe.

"Good, " Sheldon replies while whipping Amy's t-shirt up and off, tossing it to the floor while taking her left nipple into his mouth and greedily suckling.

"Ah, " Amy cries out before biting her lip as Sheldon switches sides.

"Mmm, " Sheldon hums against her before releasing her breast with a pop and kissing his way back up to her lips.

This kiss is raw and animalistic as tongues duel for control while Sheldon places his hands on the waistband of Amy's sweats and tugs them down. Lifting her hips as they continue to kiss, Amy wraps her arms around Sheldon's shoulders as he strokes her wet mound through her white panties.

"Jump down and turn away from me, leaning over the dryer, " Sheldon huskily demands.

He's going to see if he can still predict her orgasm when she's not facing him, he decides while removing his belt and unzipping his pants for some relief. As much as he wants to bury himself to the hilt inside his wife, this isn't about that, at least right now, as his erection protests otherwise. As Amy removes her underwear, Sheldon reaches out and spanks her, the unexpected smack and sting making Amy cry out in surprise and a little bit of pain. Standing directly behind Amy so he's pressed up against her, Sheldon wraps his left arm around her waist while his right hand dips between her folds, finding her slick with desire.

"You will keep your pubic hair neatly trimmed for the next 30 days. I don't want hair in my mouth while I'm licking you into oblivion, " Sheldon demands while grazing her clit with his fingers.

"I... mmmm... I haven't had time to... oh God, right there."

"I know, " Sheldon reassures while kissing her shoulder.

Using the hand he has wrapped around her waist, Sheldon plunges two fingers of his left hand into Amy's core, quickly finding her G-spot as his right hand continues stroking her swollen nub. Slamming her palms upon the dryer as her knees quake, Amy leans upon her elbows and bites her lip to keep from screaming in ecstasy.

She's getting closer by the second as Sheldon keeps tormenting her. Rocking her hips in time with his fingers for added stimulation, she can no longer hold back the low moan and is rewarded by Sheldon kissing her cheek as he whispers in her ear, "cum for me, my naughty vixen."

Her knees give out as she finally blissfully falls over the edge, only staying upright as Sheldon wraps his arm around her waist once again. As she pants to catch her breath, she feels Sheldon brushing against her entrance before he enters her in one thrust of his hips while moaning into her ear.

"I love you, " he whispers while wrapping both arms around her waist.

Almost instantly becoming unhinged, he pulls all the way out before slamming into her, making her gasp. Deciding on short, fast, shallow thrusts, he reaches down to rub her clit with his right hand, making Amy cum again almost instantly as the door of the laundry room opens.

"Hey guys, you've been back here for awhile... eww eww eww! Sorry!" Penny exclaims as she gets the full visual and quickly hits the lock on the door before slamming it shut.

At the point of no return, Sheldon couldn't stop even if he wanted to. Luckily, Amy pleads, "don't stop, " and brings his hand to her clit once again.

"Together, " Sheldon requests as he speeds up both his thrusts and the speed of his fingers between Amy's legs. She's no longer able to hold in her moans as her vaginal walls begin to milk him. Spurred on by her orgasm, Sheldon can no longer hold back and with one final thrust, empties into his sexy vixen.

"Wow, " Amy pants.

"Mmmhmm, " Sheldon agrees in return.

"If the next 30 days are like that, you can punish me with sex any time, " Amy jokes before turning around in Sheldon's arms for a long kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for all of the awesome reviews!

Apologies for the delay! 3 active WIP's are proving a bit much for me right now. My plan is to rotate through each of the 3. If you want to know which is next to be updated, please check the last time I updated. The oldest "last updated" WIP is next in line. :)

* * *

Amy can always tell when the "Not-so-Secret Randomized Schedule for Sexual Relations" (patent pending) suggests coitus. In the few days leading up to the big event, Sheldon... changes. Most of the changes are subtle; he'll kiss her a few seconds longer than usual, he compliments her appearance when she's getting ready for work, or he wants to cuddle before bed. Others are much more obvious, such as Sheldon blocking out their evenings on their shared Google calendar, requesting she wear a pair of panties he picked out for her that day or (her personal favorite) asking her about a new sexual activity or position she wants to try. It surprised Amy that he's very playful and open to experimentation in the bedroom, but that is a closely guarded secret between them. Try as they might, Penny and Bernadette know zilch about "Shamy's Pon Farr" (so named by Howard), except for tonight, obviously, Amy worries as she hopes Penny will respect their privacy( not likely.)

The other surprising thing about sex is that it leaves her lady bits humming for days afterward. She's often ready for another round not long after Sheldon falls asleep. Sheldon admitted that he loves that he can get her, to use the vernacular, "horny as hell," but he's very much the one and done type. So why did he choose to punish her with sex? _You hurt him with sex._ _It makes sense that he'd choose to punish you with too much sex,_ Amy decides.

Sheldon is currently sleeping as she sits on the small rust orange loveseat watching cat videos on her phone. With her circadian rhythms wildly off course due to working nights, she's unfortunately wide awake while everyone else slumbers... or so she thought as Sheldon startles her by laying his hand on her right shoulder. Pulling her headphones out, she smiles up at him while pausing the video.

"Hey. What are you doing up?" She wonders?

"I'm cold and that mattress is a lumpy pile of rocks, " Sheldon complains as he comes around the couch to sit next to his wife.

"The couch is just as uncomfortable. The cushions do nothing to protect against the springs digging into my behind, " Amy commiserates.

"We can't have that. Your behind is my favorite asset, " Sheldon huskily murmurs to her as he pats his lap, inviting her to sit there.

"I thought it was my brain you loved the most, " Amy pouts as she accepts the invitation and wraps the white knit blanket she was using around them.

"Your detectable ass, then those beautiful eyes, and then your brilliant brain, " Sheldon lists as he lifts her glasses to rest on top of her head. "What are you watching?"

"YouTube videos of cats being startled by cucumbers, " Amy replies.

"Any particular reason?" Sheldon wonders as he smiles at the small calico kitten paused on Amy's phone screen.

"No, just for entertainment, " Amy explains as she lays her head against Sheldon's shoulder and closes her eyes.

"Sleepy?" Sheldon wonders as he ever so innocently lifts the hem of her t-shirt and caresses the warm skin of her back with his fingertips.

"Unfortunately, no. It's been a difficult day and I'm enjoying being close to you... feeling emotionally connected again, " she explains while lifting his t-shirt so she can place her hand over his heart and play with the smattering of wiry chest hair. "We're okay?" She worries.

"Yes, we're okay, " Sheldon reassures while turning his head to leave a lingering kiss on her forehead. "I was extremely angry..."

"I know, but..."

"Shh. I've had time to calm down and think about why you chose to fake it. You didn't want to hurt my feelings."

"Exactly. Did you hear what Penny said earlier about your sexual pleasure being in direct correlation with mine?"

"I did, and I absolutely concur with that opinion. Knowing I can bring you indescribable pleasure... knowing I am the only one who can touch you that way... it is an incredible turn on for me, " Sheldon softly confesses while suggestively grazing his fingers along the hem of her grey sweatpants.

"I feel the same way. Nothing turns me on more than you moaning my name."

"It drives me crazy as well, " Sheldon whispers in her ear while snaking his hand under the elastic waistband of Amy's sweats and over her panties.

"You look sleepy, " Amy whispers while removing her hand from Sheldon's shirt so she can stop his wandering hand by grasping his wrist.

"I am, " he admits. "Please come keep me warm?"

"Of course, " Amy agrees as Sheldon leans in for a soft kiss.

 _He's horny,_ Amy decides as Sheldon deepens the kiss and becomes more demanding with his tongue entering her mouth. Maneuvering Amy so she now straddles his hips, Sheldon pulls her t-shirt up and off, flinging it to the floor as he begins to attack her neck with wet kisses and tiny nibbles.

"All day, I've been thinking about you riding me this morning and how I wished we could've gone slower. I want to make love to my wife. I want us to kiss and make up, " Sheldon pleads while forcing himself to stop kissing Amy and look into her emerald orbs.

"I thought we already had make up sex?" Amy questions.

"That wasn't... it was coitus but it wasn't lovemaking. I felt disconnected from you. I discovered that I need to be able to see your face while I'm inside you. Did you like it?" He wonders.

"Hmm, the angle of penetration was interesting. It felt like you were deeper than usual. I liked that you were a little rough with me... a little dominating, but I also felt that loss of a deeper emotional connection with you, especially after such a horrible fight."

"So we agree that the so-called, " doggy style" position isn't for us?" Sheldon asks.

"I don't want to rule it out completely, but I think it will be one we use sparingly, " Amy counters. "As for right now, I very much want to ride my Texan stallion."

"I'm glad we can openly and honestly discuss our sex life, " Sheldon whispers against her lips.

"Me too. Now shut up and kiss me, " Amy demands while wrapping her arms around Sheldon's shoulders.

"Yes, Ma'am, " Sheldon replies with his sexy Southern drawl.

Ripping Sheldon's t-shirt up and off, Amy throws it somewhere behind her as Sheldon cups both her cheeks in his hands and tilts his head back against the hard wood frame of the antique couch as Amy's lips crash into his. Scooting down just a few inches due to the uncomfortable angle of his neck, Sheldon moans into Amy's mouth when it causes her breasts to press into his chest. Their slow and passionate kissess soon leave them both panting for air as Amy traces the outline of his ear with her tongue before drawing the lobe into her mouth with gentle suckling, causing Sheldon to gasp at the new sensation that immediately sends a jolt of excitement to his little lightsaber. It's more of a limp toadstool at the moment, he realizes, as he thinks back to Amy wearing his Super Mario Brothers t-shirt. Thinking he may need Amy to get her hands on some of the Viagara from the other study in her office, Sheldon decides on trying something that should rev up his libido substantially.

"Wrap your legs around my hips," Sheldon requests as he stands up suddenly.

"You're going to drop me!" Amy protests after releasing a surprised squeal.

"Nonsense. When one understands physics, anything is possible," Sheldon reassures as he reaches the bed and sits down on the edge, once again bringing Amy into his lap. "Told you so," he mumbles against Amy's lips before taking her breath away once again.

"I want to watch you touch yourself, " Sheldon whispers in her ear while mimicking Amy's earlier actions, making her moan in response.

"You like that, huh?" Amy questions, already knowing the answer.

"Can I confess something without you thinking less of me?" Sheldon bashfully questions.

"Of course, " Amy instantly replies. "I love you, Sheldon, warts and all."

"I love you too, " he immediately replies. "Before we became intimate, I uh... I would masturbate once a month. My favorite masturbatory fantasy was of you... having some solo fun while I watched."

"Hmm, I thought you were going to say, 'I'm Batman, " Amy teases to lighten the mood, making Sheldon chuckle and peck her lips. "I often fantasized about us doing _it_ in your spot on the couch."

"Why did we never do that? So many wasted opportunities."

"So, you want me to make all your dreams come true?" Amy questions as she stands up and leaves her fingers on the waistband of her sweats, not pulling them down quite yet.

"You already have by marrying me, " Sheldon murmurs in confession.

"Sheldon..." Amy gasps in surprise at the unexpected romantic response.

While the plan to get her naked seems like a very, very good idea, Amy has this overwhelming ne̶e̶d̶... hunger and desire to kiss Sheldon once again. Leaning over him, Sheldon tilts his head up to gently kiss his wife, soon drawing her into his lap once again as Amy wraps one arm around his waist and rests her hand against his cheek. This kiss reminds her of their early make-out sessions when they finally got the hang of how to kiss to drive each other crazy with built up lust and unresolved sexual tension. Many a time she could feel Sheldon's erection pressing into her, but it would never go beyond kissing. Slowly bringing the hand resting on his cheek down to the front of his pajama pants, Amy slips her hand past the waistband and grasps the soft steel of her husband's member, sliding her hand up and down his length in time with their slow kisses.

Not wanting to break their kiss, but desperately needing to get some blood and oxygen flowing to his big head once again, Sheldon tilts his head towards the ceiling and pants for air through his parched and kiss-swollen lips as Amy rests her head on his shoulder, also gasping for air.

"We just kissed for 35 minutes straight, " she points out as she glances at the clock.

"Commendable but not even close to the record we set the night we reconciled, " Sheldon points out.

"Shall we continue from where we left off before I got sidetracked?" Amy questions.

"I'm actually debating the merits of playing out two distinctly different fantasies of mine, " Sheldon confesses while lightly rubbing small circles on his wife's back.

"Oh, really? Care to share with the class, Dr. Cooper?" Amy wonders as she caresses Sheldon's stomach, where her hand came to rest a short time into their make-out session after Sheldon removed it from his pants.

"Option one is watching you masturbate for me and option two is pile driving you into this mattress right now, " he scandalously whispers.

"May I suggest a third option?" Amy wonders as she stands up.

"Alright, " Sheldon agrees as he reaches for her, resting his hands on her hips.

"While I am nervous about it, I'll masturbate for you. Once I cum, I ride you for 10 minutes or 1 orgasm, whichever occurs first. We'll then conclude with you fucking my brains out in any position you wish, " Amy offers.

"Why are you nervous?" Sheldon wonders, concerned that he crossed some sort of line.

"Well, um... what if it seems like I enjoy it more than when you touch me?" Amy worries.

"I'm not at all concerned about that. You never have to do something you're uncomfortable with because I requested it."

"I want to do this for you, " Amy decides. "Can you do something for me?"

"Anything, " Sheldon promises, sealing it with a kiss.

"I want you to play with me... talk to me like you did in the laundry room, " Amy requests before nervously biting her lip.

"I can do that. You're sure you want to do this?" Sheldon questions again.

"Absolutely, " Amy reassures.

Standing up without letting go of Amy, Sheldon slides his hands down to cup her ass and gives a firm squeeze of each cheek as Amy shyly smiles at him. Slowly hooking his fingers in the waistband of Amy's sweats, Sheldon draws them down her hips before Amy steps out of them. Stepping back, Sheldon takes his time feasting his eyes on his beautiful wife.

"Perfection personified. You are absolutely exquisite, Dr. Fowler. Are you sufficiently aroused or would you like some help in that?" Sheldon whispers in her ear while trailing a single finger from her bottom lip down her body and to her core. Dipping it between her slick folds, he grazes it against her clit one time, making her legs shake with pleasure.

"You're soaked with desire for me. I plan on having my way with you very soon. Lay horizontally on the bed, bottom towards me, " Sheldon requests as he goes to the bed and moves a few pillows behind her head to prop her up so he can also see her face in the throes of ecstasy.

Sheldon leans against the wall just a few feet from her and removes his flannel sleep pants. His erection springs free and he immediately grasps it in his right hand, pumping from base to tip in long slow strokes.

"See what you do to me, Dr. Fowler? I'm reduced to my baser urges. I'm controlled by blood lust. I love sex. I love burying my hard cock in your tight, wet pussy. I love going down on you and feeling you cum all over my fingers. But that is not my favorite thing about sex. Oh, no. My absolute favorite thing is when you moan my name. Show me how to touch you. Spread your legs and show me what you like."

 _Where is this creature coming from?_ Amy wonders as she closes her eyes and seeks out the small nub with her index finger, crying out in ecstasy.

"Yes, just like that, " Sheldon praises. " Let me hear how good it feels."

This is the first time in his life that he's truly been thankful for his eidetic memory, Sheldon decides while completely torn between watching Amy's fingers work their magic or her face as she bites her lip to hold in her moans.

"Watching you is making me painfully hard. You're so beautiful. So beautiful, " Sheldon softly murmurs. "Open your eyes and look at me, " he demands.

Doing as ordered, Amy locks eyes with her husband and in doing so, her anxiety and nervousness about doing this intimate act for him leaves her. She sees nothing but love, respect and longing for her behind his baby blues.

"Mmmm, " she moans while arching her back as her arousal ratchets up.

Noticing a change in her breathing pattern, Sheldon firmly demands, "stop."

"So... so close. I'm gonna cum, baby. I'm gonna cum, " Amy pants, not heeding his command.

"Remember what I told you earlier?" Sheldon questions as he makes his way to the bed."I am in control of when you cum. Stop. Give me your hand, " he demands.

Following Sheldon's instructions, even though it leaves her incredibly frustrated and right on the edge of what felt to be building up to an intense orgasm, Amy is not suspecting for Sheldon to guide the fingers she was just using on herself to her mouth.

"See how good you taste? This is the nectar of the Gods, and I am going to drink."

With that, he's done talking and immediately dives in to devour his wife as she fists the blanket. Soon realizing he has a new technique, she tries to fight off her orgasm in order to pinpoint what he's doing. It feels almost as if he's... French kissing her? Whatever he's doing, it feels incredible and she lets him know so by moaning his name while tumbling over the edge of her climax. Climbing onto the bed after Amy calms, he kisses the pulse point along her neck before placing two fingers along it to take her pulse.

"143. That was definitely an orgasm, " he confirms while brushing a strand of sweaty hair away from her cheek.

"Uh huh, " Amy agrees, still trying to catch her breath.

"Are you alright?" He wonders.

"Yeah. That... that was intense. Where did you learn to do that?" Amy wonders?

"You're not the only one conducting overnight studies, " Sheldon confesses. "While you're at work, I've been spending my evenings reading the books that the guys got for my bachelor party, as well as reading posts on Reddit. I assume you liked the new technique?" He questions.

"Yeah, let's go with 'liked' as I am waiting for blood and oxygen to return to my brain, " Amy replies while rolling over to face him.

"You now know how I feel every time we make love, " Sheldon points out. "Thank you for doing that for me, " he whispers before tenderly pecking her lips.

"My pleasure, " Amy chuckles. "Have you decided which position you want?" She questions before leaning in for another short kiss.

"Just like this morning, holding you close, " Sheldon requests.

"Are you ready? Do you want me to suck your cock first?" Amy wonders.

"No, I'll come instantly if you do that, " Sheldon decides as he kisses her again before scooting in to the middle of the bed and holding his hands out for Amy to use as leverage while adjusting herself into position. Sinking down onto Sheldon's hard member, they both loudly moan at the sensation.

She brings Sheldon's hand to her core, silently requesting he rubs her sensitive bundle of nerves while she slowly gyrates her hips against him. Somehow, it feels even better than this morning. Taking her time, Amy moves in circles and side to side, only truly riding him when she gets close to another orgasm. Bringing Amy into his arms, Sheldon kisses her sweaty forehead before warning, "hang onto your hat, Little Lady, " while slamming into her fast and hard. Moaning her pleasure, she's not sure if she or the old squeaky bedsprings are louder.

Amy's moans are spurring him on, bringing him to an early explosive orgasm. Gasping for air as he stills, he can only whisper, "sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" Amy questions while trying to catch her breath as well.

"I um... I couldn't hold back. I wanted to last longer than that."

" I actually find it flattering that you didn't last as long as usual. It means I got you very wound up, " Amy points out. "It felt incredible, sweetheart. I think I have a new favorite position."

"Me too, " he agrees before yawning.

"Go to sleep. We have a long day ahead, " Amy warns while lifting herself to allow Sheldon to remove his now flaccid penis from her core. "I love you."

"I love you too. Stay and cuddle with me?" He requests when Amy crawls off of him.

"I'm just going to use the bathroom. I'll be right back, " Amy promises.

Getting out of bed, Sheldon goes on a scavenger hunt for their clothes and is completely dressed when Amy comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later. After pulling her t-shirt over her head, Sheldon leads Amy by the hand back to bed, where he immediately cocoons himself around her. Surprisingly, she is the first to fall asleep, while Sheldon lays awake replaying how magnificent she appeared while making one of his fantasies come true.

* * *

I recently received a PM from one of my loyal readers asking if this is a BDSM fic. While I might play with some elements of a BDSM lifestyle, _I am extremely hesitant to classify this as a BDSM story,_ simply because I know nothing about it and have little interest in researching it online.

It also won't be all sex all the time. Sorry, smut lovers! I promise lots of sexy time, but I also want to explore other subplots that were introduced in previous chapters. :)

Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

"What's wrong with this one?" Amy questions as she turns her head to look at Sheldon as he enters the small bedroom where she has been looking out the 15th story window at the damaged city below.

"It has a weird smell, " Sheldon complains as he reaches her side.

"Sheldon, " she sighs in exasperation, "this is the fifth apartment you've rejected. I know it's not our home, but neither is Howard and Bernadette's. We're out of options, so what I need is for you to pick the least objectionable apartment for right now. Once things start to calm down in the aftermath of the earthquake, we can find a different place or maybe look into buying a home that we both love, alright?"

"Which one did you like?" Sheldon wonders, conceding that he's being difficult.

"The 2 bedroom on Lilac, " Amy immediately answers.

It's perfect, within walking distance to work, has a working elevator and best of all, in Amy's opinion, a whirlpool bathtub. Sheldon soundly rejected it because it, "didn't feel right."

"You just want that bathtub, " Sheldon surmises.

"Mmmhmm. Happy wife, happy life, babe, " Amy teases before softly kissing his cheek.

Yet another idiomatic expression he doesn't understand, which Amy senses by his tilting of his head while he hums, "hmm."

"Monkeys?" Amy questions while leading the way to the elevator.

"Bananas, " Sheldon replies.

Amy came up with their code words for a social situation that one or both of them find perplexing or uncomfortable shortly after they had a very uncomfortable and awkward conversation with Georgie during their wedding reception. It took all of five minutes of being around Amy for Georgie to declare Sheldon "pussy-whipped," an unfamiliar expression to Sheldon, who declared himself an avid cat lover to snickering poorly disguised as coughs.

Once Penny whispered the meaning of the obscenity, Sheldon had to admit, dadgummit, his big brother was spot on, Sheldon bemoans while following Amy to the elevator and discreetly allowing his eyes to momentarily drift to her luscious ass. Like it or not, his wife plays him like a fiddle and knows exactly how to get her way every single time without him even realizing he's being played. What is it about Amy that makes him so easily fold? Sheldon wonders as she reaches for his hand. It's that crooked smile, he instantly decides as Amy smiles at him while leaning in to whisper in his ear.

"It means if you keep me happy, I will keep you _very_ happy, " She explains before trailing a single finger around the outside of his ear and down his neck to the collar of his red flash t-shirt, making her meaning crystal clear as his breath hitches in his throat.

It's been five days since Sheldon has done anything more than hold her hand, and damn him, he has her exactly where he wants her in this little game of his... horny as hell and willing to do just about anything for that sweet release only her husband can provide.

"Vixen, " he breathlessly sighs into her hair before kissing the crown of her head. "Ignoring the sexual undertones of your previous statement for a moment, I am happy, Amy... extremely happy. Are you not happy as well?" He worries.

"On the contrary, I, too, am extremely happy, Sheldon... sexually frustrated but otherwise happy, " she reassures as they reach the first floor and the silver elevator doors open.

 _Checkmate,_ Sheldon smugly thinks to himself. Step one of Sir LaidaLot's Reddit guide is complete. Time to commence step 2. _Make her beg for it._

 _"_ All you need to do is ask, " Sheldon replies.

Placing his hand on the small of Amy's back as they walk to the parking lot, Sheldon takes a quick glance around, soon realizing they are alone. As they reach Amy's car, he quickly slides his hand down her back and gently taps her right butt cheek before grinning at the surprised squeek and barely audible "hoo." Opening his car door and buckling in, Sheldon becomes concerned when Amy is still standing still as a statue, her hand resting on the door handle.

 _Just ask? Who is this man and what has he done to Sheldon?_ Amy worries as her brain finally finishes its system reset and she slides into the driver's seat. Granted, Sheldon's been much more affectionate and open to regular coitus since they wed, but still, the fact remains that of the two of them, she has the higher libido. His shy grin as he slowly reaches over and caresses the creamy skin above her knee where her skirt has ridden up confirms her suspicions- this isn't Sheldon. This is Cooper, and she's dreaming.

 _Get a grip, Fowler,_ Amy scolds herself as her knuckles turn white from her clinching the steering wheel.

"Amy? It's 23 minutes past my designated lunch time, " Sheldon reminds her, bringing her back to reality.

"Of course. I'm not ready to go back to Howard and Bernadette's quite yet. Where would you like to eat?" Amy wonders while putting the car into gear?

"You decide, " Sheldon offers, secretly hoping the place will have onion rings.

"I'm craving a burger. Red Robin?" Amy asks.

"Yum."

"What are we going to do with the extra bedroom?" Amy wonders while imaging a sewing room or possibly the pitter-patter of impossibly tiny Cooper feet running along the laminate flooring while chasing their fluffball of a cat.

"Leonard and Penny will move in with us, " Sheldon declares matter of factly.

As calmly as possible, Amy checks her mirrors as she signals to move into the far right lane and turns into the parking lot of a vacated shopping center. Throwing the car into Park, she kills the engine and takes deep calming breaths.

"Amy?" Sheldon quietly questions, unsure why she's upset.

"Will you ever be able to commit to me without having an escape hatch?" She quietly mumbles. Even in the silent confines of their Honda Accord, Sheldon barely hears Amy's question.

Reaching over, he gently cups her chin in his hand, turning her head towards him and leans in to softly kiss her lips in reassurance.

"I love you. I am wholly committed to you for the rest of my life."

"Penny and I are in agreement that there are 3 people in our respective marriages, Sheldon. You wouldn't allow Leonard and Penny to live together..."

"You left me at the exact same time as my best friend got married. My world was crumbling at my feet and I... I was facing the real possibility of living alone for the first time in my life and that... it terrified me, Amy."

"Oh, " she vocalizes in shock.

"It made sense in my head, we have an extra room, they need a place to live..."

"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions, but, do you think we can maybe do something else with that room like turn it into our office or a sewing room or..."

"A nursery?" He wonders, chuckling when Amy's eyes bug out of her head while her jaw drops open in shock." "Being around Howard and Bernadette's children has made me feel... Wistful."

"Me too, but... Uh... are we ready for that step, Sheldon? We've only been married a few months, " Amy points out.

"I'm... it's something that I've been thinking about. I've always assumed that our future together will include gifting the world with our..."

"Benign overlords, " Amy interrupts with a grin.

"Yes, " Sheldon confirms with a light chuckle, delighted that Amy recalled that conversation. "I'm not suggesting that we should make a baby tonight... but I do see a child in the not too distant future."

"Well, in order for that to happen, we can't have roommates. I don't want our friends overhearing our... babymaking."

"It'd serve them right for conceiving a child in my bed, " Sheldon counters. "After years of tormenting, it serves them right to know that I enjoy... fucking my wife's brains out of her pretty little head, and that I excel at coitus."

"I'll say, " Amy mumbles under her breath. "When exactly do you plan to leave me brainless again?" She wonders while turning over the ignition of the car.

"Ask me nicely, " Sheldon demands.

"This is me asking, " Amy replies, the confusion evident in her voice.

"No. _Ask_ me, Amy."

Not understanding the difference between asking and _asking,_ Amy doesn't say anything in response as she drives to the restaurant. Watching her out of the corner of his eye, Sheldon becomes concerned by the way Amy is gnawing on her bottom lip as they sit at a stop light. Maybe he's going too far with this "punishment." Maybe, he should explain what he means, maybe he should...

"You want me to beg you for it, " Amy suddenly realizes as the light turns green.

"Yes, " Sheldon quickly answers.

"Amy Farrah Fowler does not beg...for _anything."_

"I'll have you on your knees begging me by the end of the night."

"Is that so? Wanna make this interesting?"

"I'm listening."

"Anything goes. First one to beg sleeps on the couch for three days."

"Deal."


	7. Chapter 7

_Anything goes._ The 3rd most dangerous phrase in marriage, just behind "whatever" and "I'm fine." Sheldon realizes he's already at a huge disadvantage in this little game of theirs. Unlike him, Amy has years of forced celibacy under her belt.

With marriage came the expectation of more frequent "relations" as they refer to it in their agreement. Not that they've stuck to their once a week agreement. For the first few months of their marriage, it was more accurate to describe it as, "a nightly performance at 7 pm with an encore at 11." Yes, he became obsessed with eliciting the softest whisper of his name as he filled her, her beautiful sweaty body collapsing on top of him as she reached her climax, the soft kisses and whispered "I love you's" as his wife drifts off to sleep in his arms. Exploring that side of their relationship has been immensely satisfying.

Glancing in Amy's direction, she appears outwardly content as she drums her fingers against the steering wheel while they sit at a stoplight. Sensing Sheldon's watching her, she reaches over and gently squeezes his hand.

"Are you alright? You're quiet, " Sheldon questions as the light turns green.

"I'm fine. Just thinking, " she reassures. "I do have one question though."

"Alright."

"How do I set you begging me as my ringtone?" She wonders.

"It's not happening so you don't need to worry about it, " Sheldon insists as she parks.

Waiting until Amy has killed the ignition, Sheldon slowly slides his hand up her smooth right leg to her thigh, making Amy's breath hitch in her throat as he stops midway up.

"What are you thinking about? I'm thinking about our wedding night. I never thought I'd enjoy performing cunlingus... the entire concept seemed very off-putting... but... I love it. I love how you smell... how you taste. I want to taste you again, Amy. I want to use my mouth to drive you to the brink of insanity," He whispers in her ear while slowly caressing up her thigh and coming dangerously close to the front of her panties.

"Sheldon, that's enough. It's broad daylight, " Amy warns as she removes his hand.

"We're in a dark parking garage. Nobody will notice."

"We are not horny teenagers. Have some semblance of self-control, " she warns before bolting out of the car.

 _What has gotten into him?_ Amy wonders. He's never been that brazen before.

Waiting until Sheldon has come around her car, Amy clicks the lock of the key fob then slowly drops the keys into the back pocket of her husband's khakis, making sure she gets an ample handful of that sexy ass. Smirking up at her surprised husband as he turns to look at her, Amy warns, "Two can play at this game, mister."

"You have no idea just how seductive I can be, Dr. Fowler."

"Oh yeah, I do, Babe, and let me save you the time. You can not dance your way into my pants."

"That wasn't a part of my plan but if I were to try seducing you in that manner, you'd be throwing your panties at me."

"Would not. It didn't work the first time and it won't work now."

"It didn't work because I was doing it for the wrong reasons, " he admits, causing Amy to freeze mid-step.

"And trying to get me to beg for sex with you is the right reason?" She asks. "Sheldon, do I really have to point out the obvious here?"

"No, that's not necessary. I know exactly what you want to say. I'm just... I have missed you so much, Amy. I just thought... the teasing... the flirting... it could be fun. I don't want to upset you, " he apologizes.

"I'm not upset, " she explains while wrapping her arms around his neck. "I begged for years. I think it's your turn to beg me."

"And just how do you plan on getting me to do that?" He softly murmurs before lightly kissing her in a teasing peck of the lips."

" Come on, I'm starving, " she replies, avoiding the question.

"Amy, are you really alright with this because if you're not..."

"Sheldon, it's alright, I promise. I've missed you... _all of you._ You're not going to win this but I can't wait to see you try _."_

"We'll just see about that," he whispers in her ear as he wraps his arm around her waist and leans over to kiss the top of her head.

The restaurant is unusually busy for a Thursday afternoon and so Sheldon and Amy are left waiting for a table. Taking a seat on the small bench in the corner, Sheldon surprises Amy by immediately reaching for her hand as they sit. He's been much more affectionate since they got married, Amy suddenly realizes.

"Do you think that marriage changed us?" Sheldon asks out of the blue.

""You're reading my mind right now and you used to be rather..."

"Clueless?" he finishes with an amused smirk.

"I was searching for a nicer way to word it, but... yes. I didn't believe anyone who said that marriage would change our relationship, but it has... for the best. I feel like we are closer than ever. I feel... treasured by you. We've always enjoyed spending time together, but lately, it's become a priority... not just for you but for both of us. I love how you want to do things together now... just the two of us. You smile more. You laugh more. You can barely keep your hands off me..."

"I thought you liked the affection?" He questions while quickly letting go of her hand and wiping his palm against his pants.

"I do" she reassures while bringing his ring to her lips and gently kissing it. "It's just slightly disconcerting..."

"That's a rather strong word if you are truly alright with this..."

"I am, but it needs to stay behind closed doors."

"Technically..."

"Yes, technically the car doors were closed. Let me phrase it another way. If you would not be comfortable with Meemaw seeing us..."

"Understood. Point of clarification; by closed doors, you mean doors without windows?"

"Exactly. I love you, but I am not going to jail for you."

"So there are limitations to that unconditional love, " Sheldon teases.

"Yup, " Amy replies while winking at him. "Speaking of changes, there is something that I would like to discuss with you."

"Oh?" Sheldon hums as they are lead to a table.

Whatever it is that Amy wishes to discuss is making her very nervous, Sheldon notices as he watches her keep her eyes downcast and use her middle finger to scratch at the peeling red paint on her thumb nail. They have a well established routine for when they dine out, including which side of the table they each sit at. Seeing his wife's apprehension, Sheldon makes a unilateral decision to forego the routine and slides into the booth next to Amy before immediately reaching for her hand under the table.

"What's wrong?" He whispers after they place their drink orders.

"Nothing's wrong, " she reassures.

"Tell me about this change you wish to discuss, " he requests once Amy lays her menu on the side of the table. Laying his arm across the back of the bench, he smiles at Amy as she snuggles in closer. That smile is short lived, however, as he hears her heavy sigh. "Amy, please tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing, " she reassures. "I just... I know how much you despise change and with everything going on right now, maybe I'm asking you for too much... but I'm... I'm wanting to cut my hair. Nothing too drastic, " she reassures, "but how do you feel about it?" Amy nervously questions.

"Cut implies that you wish to remove several inches."

"Yes. I'm considering shoulder length."

"Hmm, " Sheldon hums.

Gently brushing his knuckle against Amy's cheek, he draws a few strands of hair into his hand and curls them up, pinning them with his finger at shoulder length to get a visual of Amy's request. "No shorter than this please."

"Agreed. Thank you for not freaking out "

"You were anticipating a freak out?" He worries.

"Well... yes. When Penny..."

"Let me stop you right there. Yes, I 'flipped out' when Penny cut her hair... but I have grown and matured a lot since then."

"That's true, but you have to admit that you do have visceral reactions to change... even something as small as me purchasing chunky rather than smooth peanut butter sets you off."

"And we talked about how I need to find appropriate ways of communicating that frustration."

"Also true, " she admits. "I was just expecting a different reaction."

"My wife should not have to ask permission to cut her hair. I hate that you feel that way, " he softly murmurs. "I think... I think shoulder length with a soft perm would look... cute."

"Did you just call me cute?" Amy teases with a smirk.

"No... you are beautiful, Dr. Fowler, " he whispers in her ear. "I love you."

"I love you too, " she softly murmurs before sharing a much-too-short-for-their-liking peck.

"Have you heard anything about when your lab will reopen?" He wonders.

"I really don't want to discuss work right now, but no, I haven't. Penny mentioned that Raj's department is temporarily moving to USC. Has that been offered to you?"

"No. Should we wait to hear about that before finalizing our housing?"

"I don't think we should wait. Thousands of people are currently displaced and finding something that we like and can afford is going to become increasingly difficult."

"I agree. You should call the property manager for the Lilac apartment."

"Okay. Get me that hamburger that you had on our honeymoon?" She requests. "The one with the sauce?"

"Sure, " Sheldon agrees.

Making a detour to the women's restroom, Amy decides that if Sheldon wants to play dirty, then she is totally game. Going into the large stall, she fishes her cell phone out of her purse and bites her bottom lip as she tries to work up the courage to go through with it. They have never sexted or sent dirty pictures to each other... but Sheldon did agree that anything goes and she's not about to let him get away with that little stunt in the car. Decision made, she shimmies her panties off and sticks them in her purse before quickly snapping a photo and sending it to Sheldon. It's still relatively innocent but she wants to get laid, not kill her sweet, unsuspecting husband. There is plenty of time to work up to the full money shot.

She's just washing her hands when Sheldon texts back, "you're not seriously considering sitting on a bench, where hundreds of bottoms in various states of cleanliness have previously sat, sans panties are you?"

 _Of course, the first thing he'd think of is the germs._ She texts back, "should I sit in your lap instead?" then exits into the hallway to make the call.

Sheldon doesn't have many regrets in life, but for the few regrets that he does have, there is a common theme... Amy Farrah Fowler. As he reads Amy's text message, he silently adds regret number 10 to the list: _they never had coitus in his spot on the couch._ Soon realizing that they will need to purchase new furniture for their new apartment, Sheldon vows to properly break in every piece of furniture that will support the weight of two people.

As his wife returns to their table, Sheldon tries his best to give her a "loving" smile, the kind of smile that he gives at Comic-Con or at the train store. Apparently, he succeeded as Amy lights up in return and kisses him as she slides back into the booth.

"They waived the application fee. We can move in as soon as we pay the deposit and first month's rent."

"So, this afternoon?" He asks, already certain that he can easily win by suggesting a bubble bath for two in their new whirlpool tub.

"Well, technically, yes, but we don't have any of the necessities."

"Target, Walmart and Bed Bath and Beyond are all nearby, as is Ashley Furniture, Macy's, Furniture Town, and, in a pinch, Goodwill" Sheldon recalls from memory. "Worst case scenario, we will have to sleep on an air mattress and sit on the floor for a few days."

"I still have that gift card that my Aunt Ruth gave us at our wedding."

"I told you to use it on that pair of shoes that you liked."

"I pointed out that it was for both of us to use."

"A valid argument, however, I gain the satisfaction that my wife is happy and will not be asking for me to rub her aching feet every night."

"What if I asked you to rub other things?" Amy whispers in his ear, before pulling back to see her husband cutely blushing. "You're blushing, Doctor Cooper, " she teases.

"Am not, " he whines.

"You're as red as my drink, hon. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen."

"Oh, I can stand it, Little Lady."

Moving on to other topics of conversation, the overt flirting comes to a temporary standstill as their food arrives. As Amy opens her purse to hunt for her wallet, Sheldon glances inside and, sure enough, there are Amy's green silk panties crumbled up into a ball. He's going to lose this bet. The only question now is just how long it takes before he cracks?

Making a decision to go to Target while Amy gets her hair cut, Sheldon leans over and gives her a soft peck on the lips as Amy drops him at the front door. Walking in, he immediately feels anxious about the crowds. It's very rare that he shops alone since meeting Leonard, Howard and Rajesh. Using his wonderful memory, Sheldon realizes that this is his first solo shopping trip since Amy moved in with him. Huh, maybe that's why he is feeling nervous today.

He has a list, he realizes as he mentally recalls the household items that they will need and grabs a cart. He's letting Amy pick out the items that have a color scheme, but he can definitely help by getting the toilet paper, bleach, and some grocery staples. _Focus on being a good and dutiful husband, and not on the little brat throwing a tantrum over being placed to sit in the shopping cart._ Barely dodging the screaming toddler's wildly kicking feet, Sheldon beelines for the home goods aisles and as he stops, he feels a cart slam into his feet.

"Sorry! Brake lights should be mandatory in here!" the middle aged woman apologizes.

He just smiles and politely nods, biting back the bitter retort that seems intent on passing through his lips. The aisle is jammed with families also trying to get needed supplies to help recover from the earthquake. Trying to control his breathing, Sheldon quickly grabs the first pack of paper towels he sees and throws them into the cart.

Luckily, unlike him, Amy is a bargain shopper. There are only a few items that she insists must be a certain brand, toilet paper being one of them. Stopping in front of the toilet paper, Sheldon feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and immediately pulls it out so he can read Amy's text asking, _Brazillian or a landing strip?_

Having no idea what she is referring to, Sheldon quickly Googles "landing strip" and drops his phone to the ground with a loud thud. So, that's what they call it. It's what Amy had done after Penny and Bernadette tipped her off on her birthday present several years ago. He's wanted to find a way to ask Amy to do it again. Does he dare Google the other term?

 _"Surprise me." Obviously, her Puritan husband has no clue what she's asking about,_ Amy decides as she waits to be called back into the room. But, she has to admit, he obviously is not as innocent as he seems. Who is teaching him how to "talk dirty" she wonders? She doesn't believe it to be any of the guys, based on what she's been told by Penny and Bernadette. Wherever he's learning this from, he's doing it for her, to please her... and she loves him for it.

Replying to Sheldon, _you asked earlier what I was thinking about. I was thinking about the praying mantis,_ Amy turns off her phone and makes her way to change into a robe.

 _Praying mantis? What does that mean?_ Sheldon wonders as he stands in front of the display of candles, trying to decide between wax and battery operated. _What do they have to do with anything?_

 _Well, although brilliant, my wife lacks the same intelligence that I have. It shouldn't be too difficult to figure out. Let's see... the praying mantis is of the order Mantodea Burmeister, superorder Dictyoptera, class Insecta, phylum Arthropoda, kingdom Animalia. They are found mostly in subtropical climates. The female of the species is often portrayed as a femme fatale, due to the high prevalence of sexual cannibalism... Oh! Amy was insinuating that she wishes to devour me... figuratively of course._

 _You can devour me any time, sweetheart,_ Sheldon texts back before grabbing a 6 pack of electronic candles.

Sheldon doesn't recognize his wife as she sits at the small cafe sipping a coffee while she waits for him. Her hair is shorter than they agreed upon and he notices as she smiles at him, it's 1 1/4 inches longer on the left side. He'll have to remedy that but for now, he must pretend to like her hair cut.

"Hey... uh, wow, it looks like you cleared the shelves, " Amy exclaims in surprise at the full cart Sheldon parks at the table.

"The pots and pans set takes up 30 percent of the cart. I also didn't purchase anything that has multiple colors or patterns: towels, sheets, dishes, etc. as I want your input."

"I've been looking online and found a dish set Ithat love at Walmart, " Amy explains before handing over her phone to show Sheldon a set of dishes that are yellow on the outside and blue on the inside.

"I wasn't expecting you to pick something so..."

"Sentimental?" Amy hopefully offers.

 _Uh oh. He was about to call Amy's choice an abhorrent insult to his eyes. The mugs. Of course!_

"Yes, " he immediately corrects. "I'm going to get an icee. Would you like anything else?"

"Surprise me, " Amy teases with a wink.

Amy is still on her phone, paying him no attention as he returns to the table a few minutes later and places a cinnamon and sugar-coated pretzel in front of her. When she still doesn't look up, Sheldon grasps the edge of the plate and starts pulling it back towards him. Reaching out, Amy slaps his hand away from the sticky, sweet treat, making them both laugh.

"Drop it" Amy warns.

"Or?"

"You know that video I accidentally took on our honeymoon, the one of you singing "Everything is Awesome" in falsetto? It's going to accidentally find its way onto my Facebook page."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Wanna bet?" Amy threatens, holding her thumb over the share button on her Facebook page.

"Note to self, I need to start blackmailing my wife."

"Yep, " Amy agrees. "You look like you just ate a smurf, " Amy giggles as Sheldon flashes a teeth-baring smile, his teeth and tongue stained blue by his icee.

"That is one beloved childhood cartoon that has been forever sullied by our current landlords."

"Oh, I know, " Amy agrees. "I had to hear all about removing blue body paint from areas that should definitely not be blue."

"I'm going to text a question to you, " Sheldon decides as he grabs Amy's phone to ask her a question. Quickly typing, he passes it back and smirks as Amy snorts before laughing.

 _Blue balls is the colloquial term for a sexually frustrated male. What color does a sexually frustrated smurf's testicles turn?_

"Um, I don't know. I don't think smurf's experience... what you just asked me about."

"Assuming that they do."

"Alright. I'm going to say green."

"Eww. Why?"

"I don't know, it's only logical?" Amy replies before winking at him.

"You're playing dirty, Fowler, " Sheldon warns in a low growling whisper.

" Nothing is below me... except for you after I win this."

"Promises, promises. How late is the salon open tonight?"

"Why? Do you not like it?" Amy worries. "I can get extensions or a wig or..."

"Amy. I like your haircut. I do. It's just that the left side is 1 1/4 inch longer than the right."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure Penny can fix it."

"Oh. So we're staying at Howard and Bernadette's again tonight?"

"As we don't have a bed, or furniture or towels... I think it makes sense to stay one more night."

"In that case, are we postponing our bet?" He wonders

"No way, Mister. You will just have to get creative if you think you have any chance of winning this."

"In the words of Barney Stinson, challenge accepted."

Sheldon is unusually quiet, Amy worries, as she makes a right turn into the parking lot of their bank and finds a spot. Truth be told, she's been worried about him and his ability to process all of the changes in the last few months. They have been much better at talking about everything... from the most mundane of topics, such as what to have for dinner, to the most important; finances, contraception, ... emotions. Sheldon will talk to her about anything and everything. So why is he so quiet? He's worried about something, Amy decides, as she reaches behind her for her purse.

"Hey, if you don't like this apartment, we can keep looking, " Amy softly offers while reaching for his hand.

"It's fine for now, " he reassures.

"Then why are you pouting?" She questions.

"I'm not pouting. I'm contemplating how to get my way without causing a fight with you. It's more difficult than I thought."

"You could try talking to me?" Amy suggests.

"I love you and I want to make you happy..."

"But?" Amy interjects.

For the first time since they began asserting their love for each other, she didn't immediately respond with an "I love you too, " and that worries Sheldon. Sighing heavily, he unbuckles his seatbelt and quietly mumbles, "I'm not fighting with you."

"Now, I'm worried. In all the years I've known you, you have never just backed down when there is something you desire. Sheldon, what's wrong? I can't fix it if you won't talk to me."

"Why are you so vehemently opposed to Leonard and Penny being our roommates?"

"Wow, that's a loaded question, " Amy sighs. "I um... I realize that he is your best friend, Sheldon, and after living nearly all of your adult life either with or next door to Leonard, this is a huge change for you... but when I come home to you at night, I don't want to have to share you or fight for your attention. It sounds... ridiculous when I say it out loud..."

"No, it doesn't, " Sheldon reassures. "We've talked at length about how at times you have felt jealous of my relationships with Leonard and Penny... and about how it upsets you when we're in the same room but all of my focus is on something other than you."

"Well, yes... but I realize that at times, we will need to work or I'll want to sew or read while you watch tv... that's healthy too. It bothers me the most when it's a scheduled date night."

"I am trying, Amy."

"I know. You're an amazing, loving, wonderful... sexy... husband. I finally got you and I don't want to share. I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"I know. I um... I'm struggling to adapt to all of the changes, Amy."

"I know that too. I don't see a compromise in which we are both happy with the outcome. Do they want to be roommates?"

"I haven't asked because I expected this outcome."

"Oh. I want you to be happy too, Sheldon. Would you be content with them living in a different building in the same complex?"

"That would be acceptable. Can they afford it?"

"Penny makes double my salary."

"Seriously? She's nothing more than a drug dealer in a cheap suit..."

"Hey, that's my bestie and the type of thing that is going to get you in trouble."

" Trouble is my middle name, except on legal documents when it's Lee, which is also my middle name."

"I love me a bad boy, " Amy stage whispers before winking at her husband.

"I'm glad that I'm not the only sexy toddler in this relationship."

"Sex... hey!" Amy protests while lightly play punching Sheldon in the shoulder as he chuckles.

"I did just call you sexy. I thought that may have softened the insult, " he points out.

"Do you really think that?" Amy wonders.

"Of course. Amy, prior to meeting you, I had no interest or desire to engage in a romantic relationship... and now... I can't picture a life without you in it. I've always thought that you are a very beautiful woman... from the moment I saw your profile picture. As we've become increasingly intimate, I've noticed that you are sexy without even trying to be."

"Oh yeah? How so?"

"Well... wearing my t-shirt on Saturday mornings when we make pancakes, the way you say my name on the phone when you call to wish me sweet dreams, how you immediately roll to cuddle with me as soon as you crawl into bed, how we always wake up holding hands..."

"That's sexy for you? I need to try harder."

"Well... there is one thing I've always wanted from you... but I've been afraid to request it, " he confesses. "Wake me up by fellatio."

"Mmmm, I've wanted to but wasn't sure how you would react."

"Try it and find out, " Sheldon challenges before wondering, "did I just lose?"

"No. When you beg me, you're going to say, " I want you now."

 _I've already lost,_ Sheldon decides.

* * *

So so sorry for the delay! Life has been chaotic. Thank you for the continued support and encouragement to keep writing.


	8. Chapter 8

Sheldon Lee Cooper has mastered many things in his 38 years of life; crossing the street by himself, handholding without the use of his trusty mittens, the theremin and making the perfect loaf of sourdough bread to name but a few. The art of seduction, however? Well, he's completely clueless. Sure, he's gotten better at it, but after a 6-year courtship and 7 months of marriage, he expected to be the resident expert amongst their friends. Sadly, that title is claimed by Howard of all people!

Amy, on the other hand, knows exactly how to seduce him. It usually starts innocently enough. She'll start by reaching for his hand and delicately trace her finger over the long lines of his palm. Next, she'll ask for a bite of his dessert ( often vanilla ice cream in a sugar cone) suggestively licking the melting sticky liquid before swirling her tongue all over it and feigning innocence as he admonishes her for the soft, semi-erotic moan of pleasure. Finally, she'll scoot in really close to him, and whisper in his ear the four little words they agreed to as their code, "shall we dance, Sweetheart?"

Dancing. _It may come in handy someday when wooing a young lady,_ he remembers his Meemaw saying. How right she was. Amy loves dancing. He loves dancing with her, he'll admit... holding her close, the feel of her head resting against his shoulder, the soft smile playing at her lips...

Coming to his senses, he smiles at his wife as she stacks yet another shoebox onto the pile in his arms. This is what he gets for saying she can use the gift card they received as a wedding gift for new shoes... An hour in hell. Glancing into the box, he quickly notices a theme, Amy isn't just looking for shoes, she's looking at boots. The latest pair she wishes to try on is long, easily hitting her just below the knee. Missy referred to these as "fuck me boots" during her college years, Sheldon recalls. As if reading his thoughts, Amy turns around, raising her eyebrow as Sheldon clears his throat.

"Are you alright?" she sweetly questions.

"Yes, " he croaks, his voice high pitched and pre-pubescent to his ears.

 _She's winning this little game of theirs,_ Amy decides as Sheldon readjusts the boxes so they're now covering his crotch. She always knew he had a not-so-secret fantasy about them dressing in western garb, but never expected he'd find knee-high boots so... titillating. Deciding to wind him up a little bit more, Amy bends over as she pretends to search for the correct size, giving Sheldon the opportunity to openly ogle her rear end.

"No. The other ones. Two boxes right. Size 10 is four boxes down," he directs her.

 _Victory,_ Amy decides with a smirk while picking up the display model of the black suede ankle boot and admiring it.

"Ooh, that's cute," she exclaims for good measure.

 _He needs to calm down before he has a very embarrassing situation on his hands... well, to be more accurate in his pants. He'd likely be arrested if it was in his hands._ Some men recite sports statistics or name all 45 presidents of the United States. He's even heard of men picturing their mother-in-law or grandmother. Sheldon recites the longest equation known to man, the Boolean Pythagorean Triples problem. There's just one problem, he's never before had the object of his desires mere feet from him while he's attempting to calm himself. Why did he have to marry such a fox?!

 _$125 for carefully molded and sewn cow skin? Ridiculous._ She's had her fun and gotten a rise... literally _..._ out of her husband, but as Amy looks at the price tag for the two pairs of boots she likes... and the one Sheldon _really likes..._ she decides that, as treasurer of The Fowler-Cooper Center for the Advancement of the Institution of Marriage, they simply do not have the funds for her to splurge on a pair of boots right now. As she turns around, she sees Sheldon silently mouthing something to himself as he draws on his invisible chalkboard. Eyes closed, he doesn't realize she's approaching until she gently stills his hand by grasping it in hers.

"Are you alright?" Amy questions in concern when Sheldon startles at her touch.

"Yes... yes," he confirms after clearing his throat.

"Let me just put these boxes back and then we can go."

"Go? You're not going to try them on before purchase?"

He's gearing up to scold her, Amy realizes while grabbing the first box.

"Our budget will need to be a little tighter than usual for the next few months to account for unexpected expenses due to having to move. We don't have room in the budget to splurge right now."

"Which ones did you like?" he asks.

"Sheldon..."

"It's your birthday present. Which pair did you like?" he asks again.

"We really..."

"I am buying my wife a pair of boots for her birthday. Either you choose them or I will."

"Alright," Amy agrees with a smile. "It's between the ones you chose and the boots that zip up on one side."

"Here," he invites while scooting over on the bench he has been occupying the entire time. "Try them on."

"Boots turn you on?" Amy softly whispers in his ear, noticing his soft blush as he moves the other boxes aside.

"We'll discuss this later," he shushes her while quickly looking around to make sure they're not overheard.

"Black velvet and that little boy smile... " Amy teasingly whispers into his ear before wondering, "Have I brought you to your knees yet?"

"Not even close, Vixen."

"Liar," she teases while winking at him.

 _He needs to find a way to even the score fast,_ Sheldon realizes. It's not a fetish, at least, not by the commonly understood definition of that term. Admittedly, he does enjoy the feel of Amy's legs wrapped around him, but that is absolutely normal, she reassured him. Amy doesn't seem to have a favorite part of his body, at least, that he's been able to discern. If he had to guess, he'd say it's his smile. She's always trying to get him to smile... normally, not that "kill Batman" smile he sometimes has to force.

The boots Sheldon picked fit like a glove and feel like she stuck her feet in clouds. Surprised, Amy dangles her foot in the air to allow Sheldon to look and give a nod of approval. Ever the gentleman, he holds his hand out so she can find her balance on the slightly slick floor. The 1/2 inch heel is surprisingly easy to walk in and Amy quickly decides that she'll let Sheldon spoil her... just a little bit. She only turns 35 once after all.

As they walk out of the store after Sheldon pays, Amy stops him at the back of the car and softly kisses his cheek. Blushing, he gently grasps her left hand and brings her ring to his lips.

"You're still my favorite gift," she reassures.

"Liar," he teases back, making her laugh. "I know the thought of sleeping on a plastic mattress is probably unappealing to you..."

"It is," Amy interjects.

"But I want some quality alone time with you... _private_ quality alone time," he hints.

"I want that as well... and a bubble bath in our whirlpool. It's been years since I've had a bubble bath."

"That tub looks big enough for two."

"Oh no, I'm not sharing it," Amy insists. _At least not until I make him beg me first._

Having a working elevator is definitely a perk of moving, Sheldon decides he shuts the trunk of Amy's car and they make their third and last trip up to the new apartment. He tried to grab the heavier bags before Amy could get them, but as he watches her struggle with the pots and pans set, he feels guilty that he's carrying a bag of pillows.

"Set them down and take the pillows from me," Sheldon insists.

"You took the air mattress. I've got it."

"Amy..."

"Sheldon..."

"Why did I have to marry such a stubborn woman?"

" _I'm_ stubborn? No way, mister. You are the stubborn one in this marriage."

"Agreed," he replies, shocking his wife." What are you thinking for dinner?" Sheldon wonders.

"I'm not sure. Once we get upstairs, let's look at a delivery service to see what's in the area."

"It's Friday, Wildcard night, which I know doesn't help limit our options," Sheldon points out.

"As long as they have a chocolate dessert on the menu, I'm fine with pretty much anything you'd like."

"I thought you wanted me for dessert?" Sheldon questions as the elevator doors open.

Trying to move aside to let the three college-aged teens off the elevator, Sheldon curses his Vulcan hearing as he hears one of the teens stage whisper, "fucking weirdos." Quickly glancing at Amy, she gives a barely detectable nod, confirming she heard it as well.

They are the new neighbors Sheldon realizes, recognizing the distinctive neon green mohawk of the 3rd young adult. _Welcome to the building._ Sheldon knows better than to try to get even right now. As tempting as it is, he'll just have to bide his time and get even another way... by having the loudest most erotic sex of their relationship next to the connecting walls.

"Are you alright?" she questions as they arrive on the 3rd floor.

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"You seem..."

"Change has always been difficult for me, especially when forced upon me so suddenly."

"What can I do to make this a little easier?" Amy worries as Sheldon unlocks the apartment door and allows her to enter first.

"Let me brood in it, but be my anchor so I don't become lost in it."

"Always," Amy promises.

Sheldon doesn't like to talk about his childhood, but, occasionally, if she asks just the right question in just the right way, Amy can get him to open up to her. "Fucking weirdo" was one of her brother-in-law's favorite "terms of endearment" for Sheldon, Amy sadly recalls. Sheldon's always felt that Georgie owes him an apology, however, in order to get Georgie to attend their wedding, Sheldon agreed to drop it. Watching in concern as Sheldon grabs the bag of cleaning supplies and heads to the bathroom, Amy knows better than to push him. _Let him brood._

It's a half-hour later as she finishes the dishes that Sheldon emerges from the bathroom. Coming to her, he wraps his arms around her and presses his shirtless chest against her back, transferring his body heat to her.

"Hi," he softly murmurs next to her ear.

"Feeling better?" she questions as she lets the plate she was washing sink back into the soapy water and finds Sheldon's hands along her waist, gently resting hers on top of his.

"I don't know why that struck such a nerve with me. We're both no strangers to ridicule and scorn and..."

"Might it have something to do with George Junior?" Amy wonders.

"It may," he quickly admits with a heavy sigh. "It's strange, Amy. For most of your childhood, you wished for a sibling, while for the majority of mine, I was convinced I was adopted..." he pauses as Amy giggles.

"That's impossible, Sheldon. Unfortunately for you, you have the Cooper ears, the Cooper feet, and that cute little tushy, as Meemaw told me, comes straight from your Grandpa Tucker."

"That is far too much information," he protests, "As I was saying, once I realized that I wasn't adopted, I wished I had been an only child."

"To what end?" Amy wonders.

"So I wasn't left out, or made to feel that my own family... didn't love me."

 _Ouch,_ Amy thinks as she turns around in his arms. _I don't know how to respond to that._

 _"_ I know they love me," Sheldon continues, "but I didn't know unconditional love, other than from my mother... until I met you. Anyway, the bathroom is clean and ready for your use. I sat the bubble bath on the ledge until we get a basket to store it in."

"Thank you. I'm just about done with the dishes. I couldn't locate the dishwasher tablets."

"That's strange, I know I purchased them. Maybe they fell out in the car. Would you like help?"

"I'd like that," she agrees with a soft smile.

 _Don't push him,_ Amy reminds herself as Sheldon tilts his head down for a gentle peck of her lips before going to the sink. He always takes rinsing and drying duties, she's discovered. Moving back to her spot, she doesn't see the towel coming as Sheldon playfully swats her behind with it, making her jump as he laughs.

"You are going to pay for that Mister!" she warns.

Scooping her hand in the soapy water, Amy soon comes up with a handful of suds and quickly turns, rubbing them into Sheldon's hair as he bends over to rinse a glass in the sink. Grinning mischievously to himself, Sheldon fills the cup with cold water and holds it behind his back as he stalks Amy, who is trying to escape.

"Don't you dare!" she warns while circling the island, putting space between her and her impish husband.

"I warned you that I am going to teach you a lesson, Dr. Fowler. At the time, I thought it was to be restricted solely to our marital relations, but now that I'm discovering just how naughty you can be... I'm afraid I need to take your punishment more seriously."

"You're having way too much fun with this."

"Darn tootin'," Sheldon immediately replies. "But um... before this goes any further, we need to have a serious discussion."

"Oh? First things first, you need to disarm before I come anywhere near you," she insists.

"Deal," he agrees while dumping the glass of water he's holding down the drain.

Coming around the island, Sheldon senses Amy's unspoken question, _is he alright?_ In response, he brings her into his arms for a warm hug and happily sighs into her hair as she lays her cheek against his chest.

"You're sad too," he whispers.

"I'm trying to be strong for you, but, yes, I am. That was our first home, but before that, it was the place where I finally felt accepted for who I am, where I finally had real friends, love, comfort, safety. We fell in love in 4A over mugs of tea and silly games... it's difficult to say goodbye to that. I thought... I thought it would be our choice to move to a bigger place when... nevermind, I'm waxing poetic."

"When we decided to expand our little family. Is that what you wanted to say?" he wonders.

"It's not the right time for that discussion."

"Which brings us to what I wished to discuss. I agree that we're not ready to become parents. With your study and the move, it's not the right time. Were you able to resume your oral contraceptive?"

"Yes, I have."

"Good, good. Just to be safe, I want to use a condom until after you finish this pack."

"Okay. You know, time isn't on our side. We will need to have a serious discussion about if we want children very soon."

"It's not an _if_ from me, Amy. It's a definite yes with a caveat. I want Mommy to be as stress free as possible first. Finish out this study and then we can talk seriously about it."

"Okay."

"Go put on your kinky boots for me?" he softly requests.

"These boots are made for walkin' and that's just what they'll do, tonight my boots are gonna walk all over you," Amy sings as she picks up the boots and winks at Sheldon.

When he smiles at her like that, she'd give him his heart's desire. Grabbing the air mattress box as well, Amy goes into their new bedroom and shuts the door. Kinky boots he wants, and kinky boots he shall have, she decides as she removes all of her clothing. Sheldon carefully placed her tiara in their bedroom closet. Spotting the box on the floor, she goes into the closet and uses the full length mirror to look at herself as she places it upon her head. _His Queen._ Sheldon called her that on their wedding night as he carefully removed the tiara.

Making quick work of blowing up the air mattress and making the bed, Amy lays down under their new blanket and quickly types out a message for Sheldon, hoping he'll get the reference, " _Whatever you tell me to do I will have to do._ _But you will have to do the same for me. Deal?"_

 _"That's not how this works."_ He replies almost instantly.

" _Chickening out already?"_ she calls out to him when she hears his footsteps approaching the door.

"Never," Sheldon replies as he opens and shuts the bedroom door. He spots Amy's clothes tossed into the new white laundry basket and smirks at her as he comments, "you'll go to any length to win this bet."

"Darn tootin'" she parrots, making her husband chuckle as he removes his pants.

"You're ruthless, Dr. Fowler. What am I going to do with you?"

"Teach me a lesson?" she hopes.

"Stand up. Show me the boots," he demands as he tosses his clothes into the laundry basket.

Doing as requested, Amy stands an arm's length away from her husband as he slowly casts his eyes over every inch of her, making her shiver in nervous anticipation. Gently grasping Amy's hand, he brings it to the front of his underwear and watches her facial expression change from confusion to realization and finally to a smile of understanding as she feels a very soft, but noticeable, beginning of an erection.

"I want to fuck your brains right out of your pretty little head," he whispers in her ear, making her gasp in surprise. "Amy?" he worriedly questions.

"You don't ever use language like this, Sheldon, even when I do. What's going on?" she worries.

This is a "sitting up" conversation, Sheldon decides. Within their new apartment, the only so-called, "furniture" is the air mattress. Sitting up and leaning against the wall, he waits for Amy to do the same before carefully wrapping the blanket around her and then taking a bit to cover his lap. Once settled, he reaches for her hand, enveloping it in his own.

"Hear me out before saying anything?" he requests.

"Of course," she reassures while turning towards him.

"As you know, with you working nights, I had an unusual amount of free time on my hands. I used some of this time going through old journals, where I had jotted down theories and jibber-jabber that crossed my mind at 3 in the morning on some idle Tuesday. One such theory caught my attention so I began searching for an old USB flash drive where I stored a few papers that I had given up on. When I was in our storage unit, I came across two boxes marked 'usbs.' On one of the drives, I discovered papers that you had typed. There was also a letter to me, which I can only assume from the contents, you intended to give to me when you ended our relationship on our 5th anniversary."

"Oh God, I know where this is going. You read the list of things you'd never say to me."

"I did," He confirms.

"Once you realized that wasn't your flash drive, why did you keep reading the documents?" Amy wonders.

"Curiosity," he reasons. "Can you honestly tell me that you wouldn't have read everything?"

"No, I can't. But at the time I wrote that I was angry and hurt..."

"I know, I know. I'm not angry about it. I want to tell you everything on that list... in fact, I have already said several things on that list."

"Such as?" she questions.

"Well, I asked you to marry me," he points out.

"Yes, you did," she replies with a smile, "however you did not use my full name when you finally proposed."

"A simple technicality. The most important part of that question was asked so it still counts."

"And here I thought you liked being thorough."

"Oh, I'll show you just how thorough I can be," he whispers while slowly grazing his hand up her thigh.

"Easy there, Tex. I'm not quite ready for that."

"We can go as slow or as fast as you want," he reassures. "In the meantime, I plan on crossing a few more items off of that list of yours."

" Such as?" she questions, smirking at him.

"You are beautiful..." he whispers in her ear before punctuating it with the softest kiss Amy could ever imagine, "and sexy..." he adds with another kiss, "and intelligent.." he praises as he gently lays her down in their bed, "I love you more than anyone or anything else," he recites from memory, making Amy smile before leaning in for another kiss. "The queen of my heart."

"You're really laying it on thick, Mister. Anything else you want to tell me?" she wonders.

"Yes, The Flash sucks," he adds, making Amy full-on belly laugh at the most unexpected comment.

"Come here my silly husband," Amy whispers as she wraps her arms around his back and pulls him closer.

 _Have they ever made love in the middle of the day,?_ Amy attempts to recall as Sheldon carefully removes her tiara. The creaking and groaning of the new plastic air mattress with every slight movement they make quickly annoys Sheldon as he groans in frustration against her neck.

"We may be going back to Howard and Bernadette's tonight. That sound is already driving me crazy," he explains.

"It shouldn't be too noisy if all we're doing on it is sleeping. Besides, I think the density is such that you'd not be able to find a good rhythm to 'fuck me," Amy points out.

"May I test it by simulation?" he questions.

"You mean dry humping?" Amy clarifies.

"If that is what the kids call it nowadays, then yes. I have a condom in my wallet."

"Did you just purchase them? I didn't see any when putting stuff away."

"No, I decided to wait until we spoke, but I do have a condom."

"Why would you... we have never used condoms," Amy points out.

"I made two promises to my mom when I moved to California; I'd attend a Christian church service once per year and I'd always carry a condom in my wallet," he explains.

"Just how old is this condom?" she wonders.

"It's been in my wallet for 5 days. I change it out monthly. I want to test the noise level with our normal rhythm, a little more aggressive and with you on top."

"Alright," Amy agrees as she moves the blanket aside and leans forward to begin to remove her bootie.

"No," he corrects her. "The boots stay on."

"As you wish," she agrees with a smile.

Waiting until Amy rolls over to the middle of the bed, Sheldon gets on his hands and knees over her. As Amy settles, her hair covers her eyes. Gently, Sheldon brushes it onto her pillow before leaving a lingering kiss on her forehead as she smiles up at him.

"The teasing has been fun," he softly murmurs.

"It has," she agrees, "but I have a feeling you're not done teasing me tonight."

"I have a number in mind, between 1 and 25. That number is how many orgasms I am going to give you tonight."

"25?! Babe, I'll be dead after the 5th one."

 _6 it is,_ Sheldon decides.

"We'll just see about that..."

Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately for him, patience has never been a virtue Sheldon has possessed. If this whole mess with Amy has taught him anything, and he'd like to think it has, it's that it takes more time to rev up Amy's libido, but once she's aroused... boy howdy is it good.

The light teasing kisses soon turn into long makeout kisses as Amy rolls so she's on top of him. Needing a breath, she lightly nibbles on his ear lobe before huskily asking, "are we having fun yet?"

"Mmmhmm," he hums as she traces a single fingernail over the bulge in his underwear. "Come here," he commands.

Thinking he wants another kiss, Amy is surprised when he pulls her up to him so she's kneeling over his face. Nearly falling over, she braces her arms against the wall as Sheldon kisses her 'other' lips. Smiling as she feels Sheldon softly caress the back of her left leg from her knee to the top of her boot, her soft cries as he finds her clit with his tongue spur him on more.

"As much as I love tasting you, I do have one regret about this position. I can't see your face. I want to hear how much you love this. I want those punks next door to know what I am doing to you. I love those little whimpers and moans. I want to hear you cum for me," he demands.

 _He wants a performance,_ Amy deduces. That's something she will not give him. In the aftermath of the faked orgasm, how could he possibly want her to fake her pleasure, she wonders? She's not faking this.

"Oh God," she cries out when Sheldon sucks on her clit. Smiling against her, he becomes more demanding, making her slap her hand against the wall.

"Yes, my Vixen. Let me hear you," he coaxes before kissing her thigh.

One down, 5 to go, Sheldon counts a few seconds later as Amy's rapid gasping for air signals her first orgasm of the night. As she calms, Sheldon gently helps her reposition so he's holding her against his chest while she catches her breath.

"I love you," she happily sighs against his chest.

"I love you too. Do you want the boots off?" he wonders.

"Please," she requests.

"Roll onto your back. I'll remove them."

There are only so many ways he will be able to bring Amy to climax and 5 more times is quite a feat, even for them. Realizing that spreading these 5 remaining orgasms out over one glorious evening is the more feasible plan, Sheldon quickly removes the boots and lets them fall to the floor with a thunk. Crawling back up to Amy, he smiles as she spreds her legs for him before wrpping them around his waist.

"Do you prefer my mouth or my fingers?" Sheldon wonders as he reaches between them and finds the little nub. As Amy relaxes her legs against the bed, Sheldon softly chuckles before kissing over her heart. "Or both?" he wonders.

"Bot... both? We've never tried that," Amy quickly points out.

"I warned you that I am going to learn everything there is to know about the female orgasm. In conducting my research, I've discovered that I've been remiss when we make love. I'm going to find your g-spot. I'm going to give you the holy grail of orgasms, the blended orgasm. When you cum for me, and you _will_ cum, it's going to be the most intense orgasm you have ever experienced."

Realizing that this is only going to feel good for Amy if she's completely relaxed, Sheldon pulls away from her and lightly caresses her cheek. As she smiles at him, he realizes that was the right thing to do.

"You are in control. I will never do anything you don't want me to do," he reassures.

"I know. Hand me your phone."

"Why?" he wonders.

"You want to be able to see my face while you're pleasuring me. What better way than recording it?"

"It's not secure, Amy. If my phone falls into the wrong hands, that video could end up plastered all over the internet. All it would take is Bernadette getting mad at me again for Howard to do something like that."

"I don't think he would do that but I get your point."

"I'll look into a more secure option," he promises. "Tell me immediately if it hurts."

"I will."

"Relax. Let me make you feel wonderful," he whispers into her ear.

He can sense she's nervous in the way she's holding her head up to watch him as he kisses his way down her body. Dropping a soft kiss at her stomach, he decides to change tactics fast as he kisses his way back up and knocks the wind out of his surprised wife's lungs with a heated kiss. As their tongues duel, Amy's hands come to rest on his slightly stubbled cheeks pulling him closer as Sheldon supports his weight on his hands. Rolling onto his side, he brings Amy with him making her gasp. Barely giving her time to catch her barings, Sheldon roughly kisses her yet again while running his hand all across her smooth back and leg. Hiking her leg up around Sheldon's hip, Amy wraps her arms around her husband, making her moan when her erect nipples brush against his chest hair. Gently rolling Amy onto her back, Sheldon swiftly takes her left nipple into his warm wet mouth as Amy bucks her hips in excitement.

"Patience, my love," he requests, using one of Amy's pet names for him.

"Not... not a virtue I possess," she argues.

"I disagree," he argues before pointing out, "you were patient with me... too patient most would argue."

"You were worth the wait."

"I love you," he whispers in her ear. "I want you."

"Ha. I just won."

"I think in this situation, we both win, sweetheart," he corrects.


	9. Chapter 9

_I am so so sorry for the lack of updates! Life is insane. I hope you and_ yours _are safe and healthy!_

* * *

 _His body knows._ Somehow, as if on a timer, he begins feeling the stirrings in his loins as it approaches midnight. Unfortunately for him, his wife is at work. _Not yet,_ Sheldon admonishes his erection, not that he expects it to comply.

At 11:58 pm, he picks up his cell phone and opens up the text message app, quickly loading the carefully selected picture of a monkey covering its eyes as it sits next to a birthday cake. He hopes Amy's love of monkeys will get him out of trouble for the pink text asking "You're how old?" Waiting until 11:59, he decides to add, "it knows" to his text before sending the picture.

They've had this discussion before, on their way to Wizarding World to celebrate Amy's birthday, to be exact. Both of them admitted that they were looking forward to making love on her birthday. He never intended for their lovemaking to take place only once per year. When he stated he looked forward to making love to her again on her birthday, he was letting Amy know that birthday coitus would become a tradition for them as long as they are physically capable of engaging in torrid lovemaking. Amy misunderstood the intent behind his statement, and too worried about how it would appear if he asked for more frequent "relations" while immediately post-coital, he didn't correct her. They both wish he would have.

Rolling over on the creaky air mattress, Sheldon smiles as his cell phone buzzes. Amy is the only person who would dare text him at this hour. Picking up his phone, he chuckles out loud as he reads her message, " _Who are you calling old, Mister? I'm not the one meticulously checking for gray hairs now, am I?"_ She immediately follows that up with, " _I love you. Get some rest. You're going to need it."_

After a quick "I love you" response, Sheldon plugs his phone into the charger and sets his alarm for 6 am. Amy will arrive home around 6:30, and unbeknownst to her, Penny and Bernadette are taking her for a girl's day while he stays home to accept a surprise furniture delivery, including a new bed which they will properly break in tonight. Maybe, if he gets really lucky, Amy will help him pop this damn air mattress first.

He awakens to Amy wrapping herself around him as she crawls into bed after a long night at work. Attempting to roll over, she shushes him as she tightens her grasp around his waist.

"Shhh. Go back to sleep," she whispers.

"At least let me roll over so I can kiss you hello," he pleads with his wife.

Loosening her grasp, Sheldon rolls over, cringing the entire time as the plastic protests his movements. With a breathy whispered "happy birthday," he melts into a languid kiss as Amy snakes her hand under his white t-shirt to caress his back. He continues rolling, intending to hover over his wife as he deepens the kiss. Misjudging where the edge of the mattress is, he instead tumbles right off, making Amy gasp and then laugh.

"Are you alright?" she questions as Sheldon sits up.

"That was decidedly unsexy. What time is it?" he wonders, surprised he didn't hear his alarm.

"A little after 5. None of my subjects showed tonight so I spent the evening inputting data. We're going to ask the university permission to wrap up the clinical portion of this study which means I am now done with all scheduled studies until January 10th."

"What are you going to do with all that free time?" Sheldon wonders.

"Sleep, catch up on my DVR list, sew, and I promised my parents we'd have dinner with them tomorrow night," she quickly rattles off as Sheldon groans in protest at that last item on her list.

"I know, but you have to share me," she teases him.

"My presence is requested?" he confirms.

"Mandatory," Amy corrects.

"Pity. My plan was to keep you naked and orgasmic."

"I'm good with that after a couple of hours of sleep," Amy agrees as she pulls the blanket over herself.

"I've been informed that you are being kidnapped by Penny and Bernadette for a girl's day..."

"Ughh. Any other day, I'd love to, but I just worked a 12-hour shift. I'm exhausted. I haven't been sleeping well because this damn air bed hurts my back..."

"You've never mentioned that before," Sheldon interrupts, showing concern.

"Of all the things to say to you in the 10 minutes I see you each day, that seemed to be of the lowest priority."

"Still, I wish you had told me. Take off your shirt."

"Babe, I'm way too tired for sex right now."

"I'm giving you a massage," Sheldon explains, a slight pleading whine tinging his voice.

"Come cuddle with me instead?" she requests as she reaches for his hand in the dark room.

Crawling back onto the bed, Sheldon cocoons himself around Amy's petite frame. As she relaxes in his arms, Sheldon reaches over her to pull the blanket back over them before he sinks into his pillows. Sighing contentedly, Amy seeks his hand out and entwines their fingers.

"My body knows too, Sheldon," Amy softly confesses after a few moments of silence. "On the drive home, I was trying to convince myself that I'm not tired."

"You've been exhausted for weeks," he points out before kissing the crown of her head.

"We have to get a real bed soon. I can't take this much longer."

 _Should he tell her?_ Sheldon debates as Amy lifts his arm from around her waist before sitting up in bed.

"What are you doing?" he questions as Amy removes her shirt and bra, tossing both in the general direction of their hamper.

"I think I will take you up on that back rub if you're still offering."

"Of course," Sheldon agrees as he removes his t-shirt as well.

" _Just_ a back rub," Amy stresses.

"I am capable of providing therapeutic massage without it becoming sexual," Sheldon whines in protest.

"Really? I've yet to see it," Amy teases.

"I didn't hear you complaining at the time."

"No complaints, just facts."

Shifting in the bed, he waits for Amy to settle on her stomach while he reaches over to the small basket of random items they keep at the edge of the bed and retrieves a bottle of lotion. Straddling Amy's hips, he leans down so his chest is flush against her back and brushes her hair away from her cheek.

"Maybe if you didn't moan like a porn star, I'd actually stand a chance of resisting you," he whispers in her ear.

Even in the darkness of the room, he can sense that he made her smile as he leans back onto his heels and uncaps the lotion. Rubbing his hands together to warm the lotion, he chuckles as Amy teasingly moans her pleasure before he's even touched her.

"Naughty Vixen," he chides as he begins rubbing her shoulders.

"You love it," Amy replies.

He never intended on falling back asleep after Amy's massage, but awakening a few hours later, Sheldon feels surprisingly refreshed. Amy is still sound asleep next to him, so as quietly as possible, he exits their bedroom and closes the door.

He made a promise to Amy that he wouldn't "go overboard" to celebrate her birthday. Sheldon knows he hasn't always been the most thoughtful or attentive of romantic partners, so, most unbeknown to Amy, he added an addendum to The Marriage Agreement stating that he will make a good faith effort to be more attentive, affectionate, considerate of her wants and needs, and give thoughtful, romantic... and most importantly _appropriate_ gifts to his wife. He learned his lesson on that last point after the disaster that was the mushroom log.

Hearing movement in the bedroom, Sheldon retrieves Amy's birthday present from his messenger bag and sets it on the counter next to the coffee maker before retrieving the flowers from the fridge. A little traditional but he overheard Amy lament that he has only purchased flowers for her once in their entire relationship. Also, unbeknownst to his wife, she will receive a monthly bouquet of flowers from the florist just down the street.

As Amy opens the bedroom door and starts walking towards the kitchen, she stops in her tracks and watches as Sheldon rearranges the flowers. Waiting until he takes a step back to admire his work and gives a single nod of approval, she comments, "we had an agreement about not going overboard."

"I purchased flowers for my wife's birthday. If that's 'going overboard' I can place them back in the fridge until tomorrow when they will no longer be a birthday present, but rather a thoughtful token of love and appreciation."

She can't help but smile at that. Closing the distance between them, she pecks his lips before admiring the delicate white, red, and green petals.

"It's called an ice cream tulip. The white is supposed to represent whipped cream on top of the red ice cream," he explains while wrapping his arms around her waist. "You once told me that you and your mom had a small garden when you were a child. The tulips were your favorite flower."

"They are," Amy agrees. "They're beautiful. Thank you, Sheldon."

"Open the envelope," Sheldon encourages while reaching for it and handing it to Amy.

"You promised..." Amy points out as she reluctantly slides her finger under the tab of the white envelope.

"This particular present was purchased in January before we set a date for our wedding. Once we set the date, it just so happened to conflict so I was able to exchange it for next year. I thought about gifting this to you on Mother's Day, but as you are not yet the mother of my children, it felt inappropriate " Sheldon explains as Amy removes two perfectly folded pieces of paper.

"The Midwest Harp Festival? Where's this located?" Amy wonders.

 _She seems excited,_ Sheldon immediately notices from the intonation of her voice.

"We'll be spending five days in Chicago," he explains. "While there, you'll have the opportunity to take private instructions with either Rudiger Oppermann or Nancy Allen. I know you enjoy listening to both of them."

"Thank you, Sheldon. This is an incredible present."

"Are you hungry? The coffee shop where we had our first date isn't far from here."

"You've always insisted that it was not a date," Amy teases.

"Let me just remove my Ring of Truth..." he jokes as he pretends his wedding ring is stuck on his finger.

"Don't you dare," Amy replies while laughing as Sheldon holds up his hand to show her he's still wearing his wedding band. "Since you're now telling me the truth about how you really felt about me, can I ask you about something I've always been curious about?" she wonders.

"The D&D love spell was based on a fanfic I had read..." he confesses.

"Fascinating and we are _definitely_ coming back to that. The afternoon before our first time, Bernadette kept making sheep jokes, such as calling you a "baaaad boy." When I asked Penny what that was about, she said that you were using a sheep and wool festival as a ruse to see if I was ready for coitus. My question is, if I had said no to coitus, was that my backup present, or was it really just a ruse?" Amy wonders.

"It was a ruse," he confesses with a sigh. "Given how intense our makeout sessions were after reconciling, there was no doubt in my mind that you'd say yes."

"For the sake of argument, if I had said no..."

"We'd have gone out to dinner, I would've kissed your cheek at the door, and bid you a good night. I'd have then presented you with several apology gifts over the next week... almost certainly including jewelry and tickets to the sheep and wool festival," he confesses.

"Hmm... maybe I should've held out to see how you'd top my tiara," Amy teases as Sheldon pouts in response.

"An impulsive, ill-thought-out marriage proposal most likely."

"A week after reconciling, yes, that would've been very impulsive," Amy agrees. "I loved falling asleep next to you this morning," she murmurs in his ear while turning around in his arms. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," he murmurs as his wife's lips meet his.

 _Something doesn't feel right,_ Sheldon realizes as he allows Amy to take control of their kiss. It's as if there's something... some unrecognizable emotional response... that his wife is experiencing as she gently massages his lips with her own. It reminds Sheldon of the night they reconciled, he reminisces while moving his hands from Amy's hips to her back, pulling her closer.

 _As Amy kicks the door shut on Dave Gibbs, her date for the evening, Sheldon can't help but feel elated. He won. He got his girl back. Pulling Amy even closer, Sheldon decides that he's going to try the French kissing technique he read about in preparation for their fifth-anniversary date that went so horribly wrong. His plan is quickly thwarted as Amy snorts before dissolving into a fit of giggles, laying her head against his shoulder as her body shakes in laughter._

 _"Sorry... sorry," she quietly apologizes after calming._

 _"What's so funny?" Sheldon wonders as he uses his thumb to caress her shoulder._

 _"I'm amused by the absolute absurdity of kicking one guy out of my apartment in order to make out with another," she explains._

 _"He didn't seem too upset by it," Sheldon reasons._

 _"That's because he is the president of your fan club," Amy explains._

 _"Were you... I mean... had you... what were you..." Sheldon stammers, not able to fully ask his questions surrounding the nature of her relationship with the British giant._

 _"Sheldon? It's alright, you can ask me," Amy reassures before kissing his cheek. "We were about to kiss when you knocked. We never engaged in coitus."_

 _There it is... the elephant in the room. Coitus. He's ready, he's decided. He's fairly certain Amy would put up little to no objection if he leads her by the hand to her bedroom. They need to talk, they have to talk, but not tonight. Tonight, he intends on focusing on the physical aspect of their relationship by kissing Amy senseless._

 _Turning his head to the left, he gently brushes his lips against Amy's, waiting for her to respond in kind. As she plays with the little hairs at the nape of his neck, he tries the French kissing technique again by quickly darting his tongue against her lower lip, hoping she'll open her mouth. Excitement rushes through him as Amy softly moans, but it is quickly dashed as she resumes their closed-mouth kisses. Trying again, he cups her cheek in his hand and brushes his tongue against her lip, being a little more forceful. As Amy gasps, she pulls an arm's length away and gasps for air._

 _"What... what... what was that?" she questions._

 _"I wanted to try French kissing," Sheldon explains as he drops his hands to his sides and looks at his shoes._

 _"Oh. Um... I'm not ready for that yet, Sheldon," Amy admits._

 _"Why are you hesitating? I'm of the understanding that you broke up with me because we weren't physically intimate."_

 _"That weighed into my decision, but Sheldon, the last thing I want is for you to feel pressured into physical intimacy. I don't want you to do this simply to please me. I want you to want it too."_

"What's wrong?" Sheldon wonders as he ends their kiss and pulls Amy's shirt back down.

"Hmm? Nothing," she quickly answers before going in for another kiss.

Turning his head, he misses Amy's frown as she kisses his cheek instead. Pulling out of Sheldon's arms, Amy opens the fridge door and fights to hold back the sudden rush of tears threatening to escape her eyes at Sheldon's rejection.

"A clenched jaw certainly does not convey that you are enjoying kissing me," Sheldon explains as he opens the nearest cupboard to retrieve two teabags.

"No, I guess it doesn't," Amy concedes while setting the carton of eggs on the counter. "I want you, Sheldon... but as I am being kidnapped, I am trying desperately _not_ to think about that."

"I see."

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. If it were up to me, we'd spend the entire day together."

"Naked?" he knowingly asks as Amy reaches above them for the plastic orange mixing bowl.

"Mmmhmm. I can't quite reach the bowl. Omelets or French toast?" she questions.

"Both sound good... but, I think we could both use the extra protein today."

"Omelettes it is," Amy decides as Sheldon sets the bowl in front of her and then wraps his arms around her waist.

"Have you noticed that you become increasingly affectionate as my birthday approaches?" Amy wonders as she leans back into her husband's chest and closes her eyes.

"Hmm. I've noticed an overall increase in both physical and emotional intimacy since marriage, but if it's not meeting your needs, we can reevaluate."

"It is exceeding my expectations, Sheldon. That was simply an observation, not an accusation," she apologizes.

"Oh. Speaking of birthday coitus, I asked Penny to make an appointment for you to get waxed... as you did before our first time."

"You didn't," Amy groans in frustration before turning around to face Sheldon.

"I'm sensing that you're upset about this?" Sheldon questions. "It's a personal preference but if you don't want to..."

"No, it's not that. I know you like it neatly trimmed. I like it too, honestly. It's just that I'm not in the mood for Penny and Bernadette's superfluous comments about the annual birthday booty spectacular," Amy explains.

Grabbing one of the eggs out of the carton, Amy whacks the middle of the white shell on the edge of the bowl with a little more force than Sheldon deems necessary. Sensing this isn't about making breakfast at all, he goes to the fridge to retrieve the milk and omelet fixings.

"Certainly they're aware that we are having more frequent carnal relations?" Sheldon presumes.

"No," Amy corrects as she turns on the stovetop burner. " I mean, I presume Penny has reached that conclusion after walking in on us, but we don't discuss the more private matters; frequency, likes, dislikes... that information falls into the tiniest zone of privacy, Sheldon. It stays between the couples in question."

"Oh. Let me talk with Penny and Bernadette."

"It's fine. Don't talk to them about it."

"It's not fine. They've upset you. They should at least be aware that their misconceptions about our previous once-a-year agreement were due to a misunderstanding between us and that we have found a schedule..."

"No. Let it go, Sheldon. Please?"

"Alright... since you said please, but I want it noted that I am not happy that they've upset you."

"So noted," Amy agrees. "What are you doing while I'm out?"

 _He knew she'd ask him this. He also knows that he is a terrible liar and his wife can almost immediately see through his tall tails._ Needing to make sure Amy never suspects his last surprise, Sheldon begged Leonard and the guys to help him pull off the surprise without having to lie to Amy.

"I have some data to analyze for the military project this morning and then I'm going to join the guys online to play Neverwinter."

"Is that a Game of Thrones game?" Amy wonders as she reaches for the bag of shredded cheese.

"No, although I can definitely see why you'd think that. It's essentially World of Warcraft meets D&D."

"Sounds like a good way to spend a Saturday."

"It'll suffice," Sheldon corrects as he grabs the container of sliced mushrooms and begins carefully removing the plastic wrap.

"We don't have any ham for our 3 am post-coital crock monsters," Amy points out as she scours the contents of their fridge.

"Shoot. I'll make a quick trip to the store. Anything else?"

"Chocolate... brownies or ice cream or syrup I can squirt all over your chest and lick off..." she suggests before turning to wink at Sheldon.

"I'm not sweet enough?" Sheldon fake pouts.

"Oh, I'll be taking several bites out of you, Handsome," Amy warns.

* * *

 _This "kidnapping" was definitely pre-planned and my husband is definitely up to something_ Amy decides as Penny takes the exit leading to UCLA. One of her favorite restaurants, Bibibop, is located near campus. Amy could never get Sheldon to go there with her because, "food is meant to be eaten, not played with."

"Alright, birthday girl, Bibibop or Hangry Moon's?" Bernie asks as she turns around from the front passenger seat to face Amy.

"Sheldon's fried chicken has absolutely ruined Hangry's for me," Amy explains.

"That man does make some damn good fried chicken," Penny agrees before declaring, "Bibibop it is."

"You look exhausted, Amy," Bernadette worries as they stop for a red light.

"I am," Amy concurs. "I worked a 12-hour shift last night and only got 2 hours of sleep because Sheldon, try as he might, is one of those people who is louder when they are attempting to be quiet."

"Leonard's the same way. At least it's Saturday so you can sleep in tomorrow," Penny reasons.

"Assuming the annual birthday booty spectacular ends at a reasonable time," Bernadette adds as she turns around and winks at Amy. "Are you nervous?"

"No. Why would I be nervous?" Amy wonders.

"Well... I just assumed it's the first time since your wedding night... you did consummate the marriage, right?" Bernadette questions.

"Yes, we've consummated the marriage," Amy replies. "We 'consummate our marriage' twice a week." _Minimum,_ she thinks to herself, not that she's going to tell them that. _She did promise Sheldon that most things stay private after all._

"Wow... I mean... that's great, Ames," Penny stutters as she pulls into a parking lot.

"I've always pictured sex with Sheldon being rather mundane. Same position, same routine... no room for any deviation," Bernadette comments.

"You think about us having sex?" Amy questions, somewhat shocked by that confession.

"No, not like _that..."_ Bernadette quickly corrects. "Just as a hypothetical."

"Alright, make an assumption and I'll tell you if you're right or wrong," Amy challenges.

"You always have sex in the missionary position," Bernadette starts as Penny rolls down the windows before killing the engine, assuming this will take a while and is not an appropriate conversation to have in public.

"No," Amy replies, not offering anything else. _They'll have to work for it._

"You _always_ have to initiate sex," Bernadette tries again.

"No," Amy replies.

"Sheldon refuses to go downtown," Bernadette tries again.

"Go downtown?" Amy questions.

"Go down on you..." Bernie hints. Sensing Amy still isn't understanding, she sighs and lays it out in clinical terms, "perform cunnilingus."

"Oh!" Amy exclaims, "No," she replies as Penny and Bernadette squeal in glee at that revelation.

"He giggled... actually giggled, not that annoying breathy laugh he does, when we talked about it," Penny shares.

"He said you told him to pretend he was a cat and my... naughty bits... were a saucer of milk," Amy divulges.

"Alright... you've given Sheldon a blow job," Penny assumes.

"Yes," Amy answers.

"More than once," Bernie continues the line of questioning

"Yes," Amy confirms.

"Sheldon has used Gerard on you," Penny chimes in.

"Yes," Amy confirms.

"Sheldon refuses to have sex outside of the bedroom," Bernadette questions.

"No," Amy confesses.

"Really? Where?" Bernadette wonders.

"Nope, that's not part of the game. If you really want to know, you'll have to guess," Amy explains.

Really hoping to end the interrogation, Amy opens the car door, signaling she's done answering their questions.

"Wait, wait, wait! I have one more question," Penny exclaims before Amy exits the car. "Is it as good as you had hoped?"

"Better," Amy truthfully answers with a huge smile lighting up her face as her blonde besties exclaim "Awww!"

With Amy out of the house for the day, Sheldon spends the first 45 minutes deflating the air mattress and putting their temporary furniture into the spare bedroom. Grabbing his new laptop, he takes a seat on the floor beneath the large window in the living room and brings up his email in order to check for delivery updates from the furniture company. Seeing that the 4-hour delivery window has now been updated to an estimated time of arrival, Sheldon checks the time and confirms he has about 45 minutes before they arrive.

Minimizing that tab, he brings up his excel spreadsheet where he has been recording data about his sexual encounters with Amy. There's just over a week left in her punishment phase and the only conclusion Sheldon has reached so far is that the female orgasm is far more complex than he anticipated.

"Orgasm 1, method, fingers... duration 7.6 seconds, my intensity rating 4 out of 10... Amy's intensity rating 6 out of 10... orgasm 2, method oral stimulation... duration 10.6 seconds... my intensity rating 9 out of 10... Amy's intensity rating 8 out of 10... orgasm 3... method oral and finger stimulation... duration 37 seconds... my intensity rating 10 out of 10... Amy's intensity rating 10 out of 10... orgasm 4... method fingers... my intensity rating 4 out of 10... Amy's intensity rating 1 out of 10... one?" he questions as he reads off the data."Why would she give that a one?" he wonders.

Trying to recall the orgasm in question, Sheldon closes his eyes as he reclines back with his arms behind his head.

 _"Oh... oh my God. Sheldon... you're... you're trying to kill me," Amy accuses as she heavily gasps for air after her 3rd and most intense orgasm of the night._

 _Chuckling as he kisses her stomach, he softly trails kisses up to her still heaving chest as he vows, "I swear to you I'm not. Do you need some water?"_

 _"Please," Amy requests as she lays back into their pillows._

 _"Catch your breath. I'm not done with you yet," he warns as he softly kisses her cheek before rolling out of the temporary airbed they've set up._

 _He quickly grabs two bottles of water from the fridge as well as the bowl of popcorn he set aside when Amy began her efforts at seducing him while they were watching the newest season of The Great British Baking Show on Netflix. Going back into the bedroom, he stops at the door and catches Amy's eyes as she lays spread eagle, waiting for him to return._

 _"I really did wear you out," Sheldon decides as he opens one of the water bottles and hands it to his parched wife._

 _"Yeah," she agrees after downing most of the water. "That last one... I think I blacked out. It sure woke you up though," she notices as he settles in next to her. "We could pitch a tent with that thing."_

 _"I should've made love to you the night we built our blanket fort," Sheldon confesses. " I wanted to kiss you. I was trying to build up the courage to kiss you and then Leonard joined us..."_

 _"We weren't ready for coitus yet. I truly believe, Sheldon, that we weren't ready up until the night we reconciled. Up until that point, I certainly didn't understand unconditional love. It was painful, but we needed to go through that in order to be this in sync with each other... in order to be this vulnerable with each other."_

 _"I'm not sure I understand what you mean by the vulnerability," Sheldon confesses._

 _"Maybe vulnerability is the wrong word due to the negative connotations," Amy decides as she hands the bottle of water to Sheldon for him to finish. "What I mean is that the act of lovemaking requires us to trust each other in ways that are not present in any other relationship."_

 _"Hmm, I guess you're right about that," Sheldon decides as he rolls onto his side and brushes her hair away from her mouth. "Did you not trust me prior to reconciling? Prom night for example."_

 _"I trusted you, Sheldon but... I was losing hope that you would ever want what we have now," Amy admits. "I dreamed about it but I never thought you would enjoy giving and receiving oral sex or..." she admits as Sheldon chuckles._

 _"Neither did I," he admits. "Penny tried to convince me that I should try it during our first time, to, and I quote, 'make sure Amy has no doubts about how you feel about coitus.' When I asked her what to do, she told me to pretend I'm a cat and your lady bits are a saucer of milk."_

 _"Is there a reason we didn't try it until our wedding night?"_

 _"Please don't get mad?" he requests, waiting for Amy to nod her agreement. "I wasn't sure I could tolerate the taste... the smell... so when we made love on my birthday, and I used my fingers to stimulate you... as you were coming down from your orgasm, I quickly licked my finger in order to taste you for the first time. You taste incredible, Amy. I remember wanting to bury my head between your legs right then..."_

 _"Why didn't you?" Amy wonders._

 _"I wanted our wedding night to be special so I decided that would be one of my presents to you. Of course, I didn't anticipate coming in your mouth as soon as you orally stimulated me..."_

 _"How about some oral stimulation right now?" Amy offers as she reaches her hand down to his shaft and slowly strokes him from base to tip._

 _"Mmmm... I... want... inside you. Please," he begs as Amy increases the speed of her hand._

 _"Then come get me," Amy challenges as she rolls onto her back._

 _"Roll onto your side. I want to spoon so I can reach all of you," Sheldon requests._

 _As Amy settles onto her side, Sheldon rolls flush against her and rest his arm over her hips. Whispering, "I love you" into her ear, he brings her leg back to rest over his hips and slowly enters his wife. Giving her time to adjust, Sheldon trails his fingers down her sweat covered skin to the soft curls of her thighs and seeks out the little nub that brings his wife so much pleasure._

 _Amy slowly rocks her hips into his hand, building friction as he stimulates her. This isn't the best position for either of them to reach orgasm, but just maybe, if he stimulates her clit as well, she can get there again. His wrist is in an awkward position from this angle and he soon feels it cramping. Giving up, he rests his arm across Amy's hips._

 _"Are... are you close?" Amy questions as she reaches for his hand._

 _"No. Are you?" he admits as he slows to a stop but stays inside her._

 _"I lost it," she admits._

"What did she mean by that... she 'lost it?" Sheldon wonders as he opens his eyes and looks over the data once again. Amy reached the 4th orgasm, although she was on her back rather than her side.

"Hmm... that's definitely something I need to follow up on," he decides.

As if on cue, Amy texts him. Picking up his phone, he reads her question, " _how do you want it trimmed?"_ along with a diagram of various styles of waxing.

" _Surprise me,"_ Sheldon immediately replies, hoping she'll choose the heart.

All of this thinking about making love to his wife has him wanting to play with her. Picking up his phone again he types out, " _I want to play a game with you. I want us to pretend it's our first time. We've just recently reconciled and you have no idea that I'm gifting you coitus. I have to try to seduce you without ever referring to coitus as your birthday present."_

 _"Alright, I'm game,"_ Amy instantly replies.

Deciding to start the new game with his wife he texts her, "Happy birthday, Amy. I hope your day is going well. I'm looking forward to tonight. XO, Sheldon."

 _"What are you smirking about?"_ Penny wonders as she watches Amy type out a quick response before sticking her phone back into her purse.

"Sheldon's birthday present to me is a trip to attend the Midwest Harp Festival in April. I asked him if that sheep and wool festival was really just a ruse. He admitted it was, but if I had said no, it likely would've been one of a myriad of the apology gifts I would have received. The reason I'm smirking is that he asked to recreate our first time tonight, except this time, I don't know what he has planned, giving me an opportunity to say no," Amy explains.

"Hmm... are you going to say no?" Bernie wonders before taking a sip of her bubble tea.

"I don't think so. Consent is a very important aspect of my relationship with Sheldon. He may not realize that I'm teasing him in our game and that could end very badly. Not to mention, he's still not over me lying to him," Amy explains.

"He's still butthurt over that?" Penny wonders, the disgust evident in her voice.

"I'm being 'punished," Amy confirms with air quotes around punished, "which essentially amounts to my husband now carefully monitoring my heart rate, perspiration and respiration any time we're intimate."

"Oh God, really?" Bernie questions."Does he realize how insecure that makes him seem?"

"There's also a satisfaction survey after each... encounter," Amy confesses.

"Why do you put up with that?" Bernie wonders.

"What I did deeply hurt him, Bernie. In his mind, he physically hurt me and he needs to make that right. He thinks he missed my non-verbal cues that indicated that it was hurting me. If I can regain his trust by letting him monitor the physical indications of... _satisfaction_..." she pauses, looking around to see if anyone is eavesdropping, "it's a small sacrifice for the greater good of saving my marriage."

"You two seem all lovey-dovey. I thought you worked through it?" Penny questions.

"We have for the most part. It's... it's complicated," Amy admits.

"All relationships are complicated," Penny sympathizes. "Well, let's get you waxed."

"How authentic is the recreation going to be? I mean, you've moved into a new place so obviously, that throws a monkey wrench into this," Bernie questions.

"Ooh, you're right. I also don't have the nightgown I wore. Sheldon only grabbed the most important items we needed to save; our safe, my tiara..."

"He saved the tiara?" Penny questions with a huge smile on her face.

"And his brain scan proving he loves me," Amy confirms, grinning the entire time.

"Did he save any comic books or action figures?" Bernie wonders.

"Just one. It was in the safe. The Leonard Nemoy napkin means a lot to him Penny... and not just because he could clone a mini Spock," Amy points out.

"Wow... I mean... wow. I thought he'd have a major freakout trying to save every last collectible," Bernie admits. "I know Howie would have."

"He's submitted a detailed list of every item left in the apartment as well as pictures and their approximant value as found on eBay to our insurance company. But... I'm very proud of him for taking my feelings into consideration. I... I kind of... okay, I had a major meltdown about losing everything. He held me and reassured me that everything can be replaced. He was terrified when I couldn't get out of the apartment."

"We know. Leonard told me Sheldon was freaking out. He kept twisting his ring on his finger and looking at the engraving..." Penny explains before Bernie cuts her off.

"I didn't know you had the ring engraved. What does it say?" Bernie wonders.

"They're both engraved with, ' _The only conclusion was love_.' He said it to me on Prom night after he said he loved me and went into an explanation of how he determined he's in love with me," Amy explains as she takes her ring off to show them the engraving.

"Aww. He's become a real boy," Penny gushes.

* * *

Her "boy" has just arrived home from the grocery store as he receives a text from Penny asking how much longer she needs to keep Amy out of the apartment. He quickly replies back to let her know Amy can come home now then starts setting up the counter with cutting boards and mixing bowls so he can prepare dinner.

Sheldon has just placed the German chocolate cake into the oven and is washing his hands when he gets the text alerting him that the girls are pulling into the parking lot. Sheldon takes one last look at the new grey suede couch and quickly fixes the white knit throw that he placed on the back so that the corners are symmetrical. Grabbing Amy's purple sleep mask, Sheldon checks his pocket to make sure he has his keys before rushing to the elevator to greet Amy.

"Oh! H..hi," Amy greets as the elevator doors open.

"Hello," Sheldon greets, purposely lowering his voice to intentionally make it sultry. "I have one more surprise for you, but you have to put this on," he requests as he holds out the blindfold.

"Sheldon, you promised me you wouldn't go overboard. I know you mean well, but right now, we're not able to spoil each other with extravagant gifts."

"If you don't like it, we can return it," Sheldon promises.

He knows she'll love it, of course. He only ordered the pieces that Amy had placed in her shopping carts on the various furniture websites she has been browsing while he's at work. He may get in trouble for monitoring her web browsing history, but it's a risk he's willing to take.

Taking Amy's hand after she dons the blindfold and he opens the door, Sheldon leads her to the middle of the living room, making sure they stop right before she steps onto the new area rug. Stepping behind Amy, he softly whispers, "happy birthday" into her ear as he removes the blindfold.

Amy gasps as she takes in their new living room furniture. Sheldon purchased every item she loved, including the black marble side tables and glass top coffee table, the column floor lamps, which he has decorated with pictures of the two of them, and the throw pillows featuring baby gorillas wearing glasses while reading books. He even purchased the tiny Millenium Falcon music box she was looking at and placed it in the center cubicle of their new light.

"Sheldon... this... this is... I don't know what to say," she breathlessly murmurs as she picks up the music box and twists the crank to play the first few notes of the Star Wars Main Theme.

"Do you like it?" he wonders as she sets the music box down before picking up the photo that had to be taken at their wedding. She laughs as she realizes it was taken seconds after they smeared cake all over each other's faces. They're both laughing hysterically in the photo as they grin from ear to ear.

"Sheldon, I love it. Thank you for doing this."

"Do you want to see the bedroom?" he questions.

Amy glances in that direction but notices the door is shut. She's definitely curious. Knowing if they go into the bedroom, they won't be coming out, Amy shakes her head in the negative.

"Let's leave that for tonight. I still want to play with you and if we go in there, we're not coming out."

"Fair enough," Sheldon agrees. "Since we're on that topic, we will need to decide how to handle two glaring errors in our first time, namely the change in locale..."

"I was thinking about that on the ride home. How about... you've rented an Air B&B for the weekend since Leonard is going to be home and my place in Glendale is being fumigated?" Amy suggests.

"Very good," Sheldon decides. "Secondly, we lost the clothing we were wearing that night in the earthquake. Now, I have a white undershirt and a similar pair of underwear but for historical accuracy..."

"I thought that might be a concern, which is why I purchased you a dress shirt and slacks. I couldn't find the exact pattern of the dress I wore but it's pretty close. I also purchased a similar nightgown," Amy explains as she hands the bags to Sheldon for inspection.

"You've thought of everything," he praises as he opens the bags.

"Do you want help making dinner?" Amy questions as she takes the bags from Sheldon and sets them on the couch before kicking off her shoes.

"If you can get the water going for the fettucini noodles, I'll start on the salad," he requests.

"That's right. I did order chicken fettucini alfredo on Grubhub," she recalls with a pleased smile. "Your baked ziti was too spicy so we traded. Why are you not having baked ziti?" she wonders.

"Acid reflux is neither healthy nor romantic," he reasons. "Besides, what you really wanted was chicken alfredo."

"What I really wanted was you."

"You have me, Baby," he murmurs near her ear, making her grin. "What?"

"You've never called me baby or babe before. I'm always your Vixen... although you did call me sweetheart once after a nightmare."

"You're all of the above."

"Good answer," she praises as she turns and wraps her arms around his neck.

Standing on her tiptoes, she gently pecks his lips, gasping in surprise and moaning when Sheldon immediately deepens the kiss by lifting her up onto the kitchen counter. Wrapping her legs around his hips, she holds his head to her as she opens her mouth and quickly darts her tongue to brush against Sheldon's lower bottom lip. Just as he opens his mouth to deepen the kiss, the oven timer beeps five times, signaling that her cake is ready to be removed.

Resting his forehead against hers, he caresses her cheeks as he promises, "we're just getting started, Little Lady."

Hopping down off the counter, Amy goes to the sink to wash her hands as Sheldon locates the oven mitts and carefully removes the cake, setting it on the wire baking rack on the island in front of her.

"Devil's food?" Amy questions.

"German chocolate," Sheldon corrects.

"You don't like the traditional frosting for a German chocolate cake."

"My plan, if you'll agree, is to leave the cake unfrosted but frost eats individual piece upon serving."

"That works. My mom texted to ask what I want for dinner tomorrow. I don't really have any ideas so I'm open to suggestions."

"What was your favorite meal as a child?" Sheldon wonders.

"My mom would make Shepard's pie for every church potluck, along with ambrosia salad."

"Ah yes, the traditional 'Sunday potluck staples," Sheldon fondly recalls. "My mom would always make a batch of buns and Meemaw made baked potatoes."

"A baked potato bar was always quite the hit at our church as well. I want angel food cake but I am not sure what pairs well with that."

"She's always made pot roast when we have dinner there."

"Yeah, that's her go-to dinner guest meal. I'll just need to remember to reply tonight before we get too preoccupied with our evening," she hints with a smile and wink, making Sheldon chuckle.

"You mean you don't want to have her call while I'm making love to her daughter's vagina?" Sheldon questions.

"Why have we never implemented an 'no cell phones in the bedroom' policy?" Amy wonders.

"Because our lovemaking is whimsically inventive and it's a wonder neither of us has been hurt," Sheldon reasons. "Plus one of these days, I may actually kill you by orgasm."

"Here's hoping," Amy decides.

"You know, the last time we had dinner with your parents, your mother mentioned in passing that your cousin, Jason, just got that executive chef position at that restaurant in Santa Barbara. How about we make a day of it by picking your parents up after church and driving up there for a late lunch? Before you say anything about finances, I have all of my entertainment allowances from this month as well as 75% of last month's allotment available," Sheldon suggests as he salts the pasta water.

"That sounds great, Sheldon. I'll call my mom to arrange it."

After pecking his lips, Amy retrieves her phone from her purse and goes to sit on the couch. Hesitating, she turns towards the kitchen and smiles as she watches Sheldon drape the white kitchen dish towel over his shoulder. He grabs the bottle of olive oil and drizzles it into the skillet, making sure it's evenly coated before placing it on the heat.

"Have you picked a spot yet?" Amy wonders.

"No. I wanted to wait to see which side I prefer while we're snuggling."

"Hippy," Amy teases.

"Pussy whipped hippy," Sheldon corrects, making Amy snort as she bursts out laughing.

Sitting on the couch, Amy settles back into the cushion, surprised by how plush it is for being a brand new couch. She reaches over the side and pushes the button to raise the footrest. Content, she continues watching Sheldon as he effortlessly moves around the kitchen, getting the chicken frying before washing his hands and moving onto preparing a garden salad. He puts the garlic bread in the oven and joins her on the couch sitting on the opposite side and leaving the middle cushion open.

"Come here," he mouths to her as Amy listens to her mom's latest rant about the bag boy at the grocery store.

Placing the phone on mute, Amy scoots over onto the middle cushion and lays her arm across Sheldon's waist as she rests her head on his shoulder. Taking the phone from her, he assumes they have a few minutes to snuggle before Amy will be able to get a word in edgewise.

"Comfy?" he asks while brushing her hair out of her face.

"I think I'd prefer the right cushion to be your spot when we snuggle," Amy admits.

"Alright, let's try it."

Handing the phone to Amy, she quickly unmutes it and hums, "mmm-hmm," before quickly muting it again as Mrs. Fowler continues on, barely noticing Amy's disinterest.

As Sheldon settles on the right side of the couch, he sighs contentedly before deciding, "oh yeah, this is much better."

"Put the footrest up," Amy requests.

"Why?" Sheldon wonders.

"Because we wasted an opportunity to have coitus in your spot on the old leather sofa in 4A. I just want to test whether it's feasible on this couch or if we will need to exchange it for something that we can have frequent and passionate coitus upon."

"You are positive the phone is on mute?" Sheldon worries as he frantically grabs Amy's phone to confirm they are not being overheard.

"Yes. I have at least another 10 minutes of her rant. She hasn't reached the, 'well, of course, I demanded to speak with Rick Stevens. You know he and I were high school sweethearts ' part of the story yet," Amy explains.

As if on cue, Mrs. Fowler copies Amy verbatim, making Sheldon chuckle before begging, "please don't turn into your mother."

"Never. She'd be mortified by the thought of us breaking in the couch in the way I intend."

"Really? How's that?" Sheldon wonders.

"Play your cards right and I will show you tonight," Amy promises.

"God, I love you," Sheldon murmurs against her lips moments before capturing them with his own. Hearing Amy's mother in the background, her voice rising as she yells at Amy's poor berated father to, "put down that soda and drink some water, damn it!" Sheldon softly pecks Amy's lips one more time.

"I feel that I need to point out for the record that 2016's Sheldon and Amy are much different than 2019's Sheldon and Amy. For example, I definitely would not have let you perform fellatio. How historically accurate are we aiming for tonight ?" Sheldon wonders.

"I think... I love sucking you but recreating our first time, that sounds really sweet too. Let's just see how the night goes? We can decide once we're in the heat of the moment," Amy suggests.

"Alright. I'll finish dinner while you pretend to talk with your mother "

"Love you," she whispers before pecking his lips.

"Love you more," Sheldon replies as Amy moves aside so he can go finish dinner.

As Sheldon gets off the couch and goes into the kitchen Amy cautiously takes the phone off of mute and continues talking with her mother. She can't help but become distracted by her husband though, watching his muscles ripple through his slightly too-tight blue Tardis t-shirt as he moves around the kitchen, each movement perfectly choreographed to maximize efficiency.

"It's like watching ballroom dancing," Amy mutters to herself.

"Hardly," her mother scoffs, "it's more like herding cats."

"Sorry, I was watching Sheldon cook. You were saying?" Amy apologizes, cringing at her ill-timed comment.

"Ah, that explains why you've been so quiet. You've always been fascinated by ballroom dancing, ever since you were a child. If Peter Eggleton came on, it was all we could do to drag you away from the television, and if Fred Astaire was on, forget about it. You weren't going anywhere," her mother recalls while laughing. "What's for dinner?"

"Chicken fettucini alfredo and a salad," Amy relays.

"Sounds good. I'll let you get back to your evening. Happy birthday, Amy."

"Thanks, Mom. We'll see you tomorrow," Amy promises before hanging up.

"Ballroom dancing, huh?" Sheldon teases while stirring the alfredo sauce before turning off the heat.

"Yeah, it was stupid. Mock if you must."

"Never," Sheldon promises. "Dinner's ready. Do you want to change now or after we eat?"

"Actually, if you don't mind, let's wait to dress up until tomorrow. There's not really any point in changing when we're staying in and we both know the evening is going to end with our clothing crumpled up on the floor."

"An excellent point, my love. Shall we remove our rings?" he wonders.

"Yes, for historical accuracy. Penny and Bernadette had no idea our rings are engraved until I showed them today," she relays as she retrieves a ceramic blue cup from the dishwasher to place her rings inside.

"I never told the guys. It's been our secret."

"Why?" Amy wonders

"Some things are sacred," Sheldon reasons with a shrug.

Reaching for Sheldon's hand, Amy gently removes his ring and delicately places it in the cup. Still holding his hand, she brings it to her lips and kisses his left ring finger.

"You have a tan line on your ring finger," she points out before kissing it again.

"Really? I hadn't noticed. Well, I guess I won't be able to get away with cheating on you."

"Don't even joke about that Sheldon. Please. It would absolutely shatter me," Amy whispers in confession.

"I'm sorry. I could never do that to you, Amy. Ramona kissing me is as close as we will ever get," Sheldon vows. "What a depressing topic on your birthday. Do you want to see our bedroom now?"

"Yeah," Amy agrees.

Grasping Amy's left hand, Sheldon whispers in her ear, "our wedding day was the best day of my life. I could never... I will never throw away what we have. You've spoiled me for anyone else, Amy. Plus I'm certain no one else could put up with me. They'd be begging you to take me back."

"Very true. You are a gigantic pain in the ass, but you're _my_ pain in the ass."

"Forever."

"Forever," Amy agrees, returning his smile.

Leading his wife to the bedroom, Sheldon's surprised she hasn't yet asked him how he knew these were the pieces she had her eye on. Letting go of Amy's hand as they reach the door, he allows her to walk in first.

It's exactly how she imagined it would look, Amy realizes as she walks through the bedroom door and spots the dark oak bed frame in the middle of the room. Sheldon even purchased the beach themed bedding set she put in the cart, certain Sheldon would hate it. There's a street sign above the bed, but without her glasses on, she can't make out what it says. There's also a framed letter or poem of some type on what Sheldon has decided is "her" side of the bed, judging from the framed brain scan photo and small plastic white basket of her lotions and various other items resting atop the new side table.

"What does the street sign say?" Amy wonders as she turns to find Sheldon watching her from the door, a soft smile playing at his lips.

"Love Shack Boulevard," Sheldon replies.

"You didn't," Amy replies, trying to hold back laughter.

"I did," he confirms, "I have the new copy of the Marriage Agreement awaiting your signature."

"What is this?" Amy wonders as she walks over and picks up the framed document.

"That is the differential diagnosis proving that I am in love with you," he explains.

"Read it to me?" she requests, although she's seen it before.

Sitting on the bed next to Amy, Sheldon gently takes the framed photo from her, although he doesn't need to read it. He remembers every word as vividly as the day he realized he had fallen in love. Setting the frame back on her end table, he wraps his arms around Amy, holding her close as he softly murmurs to her.

"Being with Amy causes my belly to do flip flops. Differential diagnosis: nausea, generalized anxiety disorder, I love her.

I'm always happy to see Amy and sad when she leaves. Differential diagnosis; depression, generalized anxiety disorder, I love her.

I dream about Amy. Differential diagnosis: I love her.

I want to make her happy. Differential diagnosis: I love her

I want Amy to be the mother of my children. Differential diagnosis: I love her.

I want to spend the rest of my life with Amy. Differential diagnosis: I love her."

"I love you," Amy whispers, overcome with emotion as she turns toward Sheldon.

"I know," he teases her, grinning at her look of indignation. "Star Wars," he quickly explains, hoping that makes it better. "I hope you realize this is as close as I will ever come to setting foot on the beach with you."

"Why do you hate the beach so much?" Amy wonders.

"When I was 3, we went to the beach and I stepped on a jellyfish. The next weekend, my parents insisted on going back to the beach in an attempt to get me over my aversion. While there, Georgie insisted on playing the 'sand monster' and buried me up to my neck. I didn't yet have an understanding of tidal fluctuations so I didn't realize we were too close to the water during high tide. I couldn't get myself free and spent several minutes underwater."

"Oh my God. No wonder you hate the beach," Amy sympathizes."If you hate the bedding, we can return it."

"No. I actually kind of like it," he admits.

"Thank you for wanting to make me happy."

"Thank you for putting up with me."

"It's not 'putting up with you' if I'm here voluntarily, Sheldon. Shall we go to eat?" she suggests.

"Alright. Come with me. We need to go outside and walk back in together."

"Why?" Amy wonders.

"We didn't just teleport into the apartment, Amy. We need some level of believability to this evening."

"Sheldon, I really do not want to put my shoes back on. Can we just pretend we arrived here together and go eat?" Amy begs.

"Fine," Sheldon relents.

He needs to find a way to get Amy relaxed and make her smile, Sheldon realizes. _Ballroom dancing._ _She dropped you a hint._ As Amy reaches the island, Sheldon stops her by reaching out and grasping her hand.

"Dance with me?" he requests, holding up his phone in his other hand to show her he's already brought up "their song"- Darlin' by The Beach Boys.

Nodding her consent, Amy smiles as she comments, "some things haven't changed."

"What do you mean?" Sheldon wonders.

"After we reconciled, this is one of the songs that would always come up on our makeout music playlists," she explains.

"Huh, I never noticed that. Maybe I was thinking about my penis."

"You were definitely thinking with your penis, babe."

Setting his phone on the counter, Sheldon hits the play button. Holding out his hand, Amy delicately places her hand into his and squeals as Sheldon twirls her, bringing her so her back is to his chest as they gently sway to the music.

"Ready to go back in time?" he questions.

"Please don't get upset if I make a mistake regarding the timeline? I recall the big details but for the life of me, I could not tell you what study I was working on when we reconciled."

"Strangely, neither can I," Sheldon admits. "But I do want to hear about your sleep apnea study," he quickly adds.

"Alright. Going back in time in 3...2...1... this is wonderful, Sheldon. Thank you for doing this. I am curious though, why did you get an air B&B for the weekend?" Amy questions, finding it easier than she expected to slip 'into character.'

"I want to spend time with you but Leonard refused to vacate the apartment for the weekend. One would think, as a newlywed, he would jump at the opportunity to have alone time with Penny."

"I know I shouldn't tell you this, but they're still in a rough patch over Mandy Chow."

"I assumed as much, but thank you for confirming it. You're wearing makeup."

"Yes. I um... I wanted to dress up for you," she shyly admits.

"The perfume is new..." _It's not, they both know. Amy's been wearing this scent, watermelon lemonade, for about a year now._ "I like it."

"Good," she replies, not knowing what else to say.

Looking down into his wife's hazel eyes, Sheldon notices for the first time today just how tired she looks. Happy, relaxed, but exhausted. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should call for them to scrap the whole date night, eat dinner, and suggest they take a hot bubble bath before having an early night. Maybe...

"Are you going to kiss me or just stare into my eyes all night?" Amy teases him, breaking the tension.

 _Maybe he should kiss her._ Nodding mutely, he leans down and softly brushes his lips against Amy's, delicately at first, then more passionately as she takes control and hungrily kisses him in return. Her hands are all over his back as if she can't decide where to rest them (or she wants to get him naked now, which is far more likely his married brain supplies.) Her fingers brush against the bare skin of his hip, where his shirt has ridden up, causing him to growl from the back of his throat. It always makes Amy laugh for some reason, and tonight is no exception as she dissolves into a fit of giggles.

"We're getting carried away," she apologizes as she pulls his shirt down. "Dinner smells good. Let's eat."

"I have a bottle of that wine you like, the one with the footprints, in the fridge. Would you like some?" Sheldon wonders.

"Yeah, I think I will if you don't mind," Amy decides. "Do you want a glass?"

Although not much for alcohol, Sheldon will occasionally share wine with her now on date nights, taking a few sips from a shared glass. The bottle of wine chilling in the fridge is one of the few types he does like, which is why Amy offered him a glass he realizes.

"I may take a sip from your glass but I'll stick with water, thanks," he decides.

"Do you want to turn on a movie while we eat?" Amy wonders.

"Sure. The remote is on the island. You remember my Netflix password?"

"Unless you've changed it from Sheldor42?" Amy questions. _They know he hasn't._

"I haven't."

"Time out for a moment. We're watching the newest season of The Great British Baking Show, which was shot in 2019. Do you want to watch that or shall I pick an episode from an earlier season?"

"I'm fine with whatever you want to watch, Amy. Since there's never really any references to what year it is shot in, we can continue watching your show," Sheldon agrees as he finishes placing the garlic bread upon the plates. "I found that Thai peanut dressing you tried at Costco last week at the market today."

"Wonderful but it doesn't really go well with pasta. Do we have any honey mustard or Catalina?"

"We have both."

"Would you be disgusted and appalled if I mixed them,?" Amy questions.

"I would," Sheldon confirms.

"Catalina with some sunflower seeds please."

"Time in?" Sheldon questions as Amy nods in agreement.

Coming over to Sheldon, Amy gently rests her arm on his back, leaning up to kiss his cheek in appreciation. Turning his head at the last second, Sheldon surprises Amy as she pecks his lips instead. He sets down the plate he had prepared for her, wrapping his arms around his wife as they continue making out in the kitchen. As her tongue enters his mouth, he wraps his arms around Amy and tightly holds her, much like he did on the night they reconciled so many moons ago now.

Their kiss is interrupted by her cell phone ringing. Resting his forehead against Amy's as they gasp for air, he softly teases, "someone better be dead."

"It's Penny," Amy replies as she grabs the phone off the counter, "so it's possible she killed Leonard. Hey bestie," she greets as she walks into the bedroom and shuts the door.

 _Damn it, Penny,_ Sheldon curses her as he gets the bottle of apple fruitscato from the fridge and pours a glass for Amy. Taking it to the bedroom, he softly raps on the door before opening it to find Amy stretched out in bed as she talks.

"It's beautiful, Penny, although I have no idea how Sheldon picked out the exact pieces I had my eye on. He even got the glider rocker that I had picked out for the baby's room."

 _Oops._

 _"_ No, I'm not pregnant! We're in the early stages... _very_ early stages of talking about possibly trying to conceive... yeah, of course, he wants a baby. Well I know that because he's told me but also the evidence is there... he wanted a test tube baby 2 months after we met, he tried seducing me in order to make a baby, and when we purchased two acres of land on Mars, Sheldon tried to convince me that Marvin would be the perfect name for our son... Marvin the Martian? Yes, really. Yes, I shot it down."

 _Thank you,_ she mouths to him as Sheldon takes a sip of wine and sets the glass on her bedside table. Taking a seat next to Amy, he reaches into the basket and retrieves her spearmint and eucalyptus lotion before bringing her feet into his lap and giving her a foot massage as she continues talking with her bestie.

"Yes, he's listening," Amy confirms as she smiles at Sheldon. Penny says something else, making Amy laugh, before disconnecting the call. "You're going to put me to sleep if you keep massaging my feet," Amy warns as she wiggles her toes

"I noticed your plantar fascitis is starting to flare up again," Sheldon replies as he runs his thumb against the tight band, proving his point as Amy winces.

"Too much?" Sheldon asks.

"Yeah. It always feels better after a hot bath to relax the muscles first."

"Amy, I think I want to suspend the roleplaying. I think we could both use a very quiet date night. Let me take care of you. It's obvious you are exhausted. Let's eat dinner, take a bath together, and have an early night?"

"That sounds perfect, Sheldon," Amy agrees as she moves to follow him to the living room.

"Do you want cake now or later?" Sheldon wonders.

"Later," Amy decides as she tries to hide her yawn behind her hand.

Handing Amy's plate to her, Sheldon settles into his newly proclaimed spot and they eat in silence as they watch Amy's favorite cooking competition. As they finish eating, Sheldon neatly stacks the dishes on the coffee table then puts the footrest up, inviting Amy to snuggle into his side. Gently playing with her hair, it's only as the second episode finishes that he looks over and realizes Amy has fallen asleep.

This definitely isn't how they planned for her birthday to end, but in some ways, it's even better, Sheldon decides as he grabs the white throw and lays it over his wife.


End file.
